deird_lj: (Default)
[personal profile] deird_lj
Here's a rather silly ficlet written for the "preschool" prompt at [livejournal.com profile] still_grrr.


It's rated PG-13 - entirely based on Faith's language. :)



Monthly Administration and Funding Committee


Submission Title: Preschool for Children of Slayers

Submission Topic: making a preschool for children of Slayers


Background (give information pertaining to the topic) :

- Buffy and I need childcare
- lots of other Slayers need childcare too
- we should all be getting a Council-funded childcare service together, so we need money
- you should approve our funding and get people to run the childcare place


Description (extrapolate on the information given) :

What? How am I supposed to? I just told you the whole thing.

- childcare, for kids
- because we have kids
- preschool costs money
- give us money


Funding Request (how much money is required?) :

No fucking idea. Do your own math.
LOTS.


Breakdown of Funding (by category) :

Giles, I am not an accountant.

Categories:
- lots of kids
--- my 2 kids
--- Buffy’s kid
--- other Slayers’ kids
--- shit, just calculate for heaps of kids, and we’ll keep having them until the preschool gets full


Chosen Title of the Endeavour (what would it be called if this was a quest being run in Middle-Earth?) :

Huh?


Justifications (why is this project going to go more smoothly than the Jetpack Extravaganza Slay Patrols or the Kevlar Spandex Combino Costumes?) :

Andrew fills out a lot of these forms, doesn’t he?


Further Justifications (why is this project more important than training programs and the pension system?) :

Because B and I are the Head Slayers, and if we don’t find a preschool that can deal with our kids, there will be no training because we’ll go nuts.

Seriously, I cannot sing the Puppy Song one more fucking time.


Arguments in Favour (convince the committee why this project should be approved) :

- regular people are dumb
- so are regular kids
- when Katie picks up a plastic knife and runs around yelling, they keep saying she has violent tendencies
- apparently stories about blood drinking monsters give preschoolers nightmares
- so do stories about witches
- but stories about burning witches in their own ovens are totally okay, so Matthew bursting into tears and running outside means that he has emotional problems
- Jenni keeps insisting that her dad is a vampire and could beat the other kids up, so she’s apparently antisocial and a compulsive liar
- regular people really are FUCKING DUMB
- we have now been through every preschool in the area
- unless you want to relocate Slayage HQ to another district, we need a new solution


Recommendations (what do you want the committee to do?) :

Give us a preschool run by people who actually know about Slayers.

Otherwise Buffy and me are going on strike.


Giles, this is a fucking stupid form.



Date: 2010-09-23 12:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluemage55.livejournal.com
This is full of win. I sense Watchers will be adding baby-sitting to their list of required skills.

Also, any word on who the daddies are? *g*

Date: 2010-09-23 08:05 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Glad you like it!

Well, I certainly know who they are... *grins* (There's a clue about one of them, actually.)
Edited Date: 2010-09-23 08:05 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-09-24 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluemage55.livejournal.com
Well, Jenni's daddy is a Angel or Spike, but we don't know if she's Faith's or Buffy's!

Date: 2010-09-23 12:23 pm (UTC)
ext_515989: (Default)
From: [identity profile] glorious-pancake-morning.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)
Brilliant!

Date: 2010-09-23 08:05 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Thanks!

Date: 2010-09-23 12:33 pm (UTC)
ext_76909: (Default)
From: [identity profile] nothorse.livejournal.com
Cute.

I agree, slayer-specific preschool is definitely needed.

Date: 2010-09-23 08:05 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Glad you liked this!

Date: 2010-09-23 02:04 pm (UTC)
ext_55027: (btvs:shut up)
From: [identity profile] silveronthetree.livejournal.com
Chosen Title of the Endeavour (what would it be called if this was a quest being run in Middle-Earth?) :

Ahaha! Oh Andrew, you crazy man.

I really enjoyed this, it is all so very Faith.

Date: 2010-09-23 08:05 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Thanks!

Date: 2010-09-23 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] velvetwhip.livejournal.com
This cracks me up. I would turn them down just to see Faith explode...


Gabrielle

Date: 2010-09-23 08:06 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Glad you liked this!

Date: 2010-09-23 09:00 pm (UTC)
snickfic: (Buffy Faith)
From: [personal profile] snickfic
This? This is fabulous. And now I want very much to know the backstory of Buffy's kid and Faith's two kids. I can't remember who you ship Faith with in the Deird!canon. (This would all be even funnier if she was with Giles, and he was making her fill out a form anyway...)

Date: 2010-09-23 10:34 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
(Actually, that's precisely how it started...)

I ship Faith with almost everyone. This makes it tricky to predict who she's going to be with in any one fic. :)


Glad you liked this!

Date: 2010-09-24 04:19 am (UTC)
snickfic: (Default)
From: [personal profile] snickfic
I know what you mean. Faith is eminently shippable.

Date: 2010-09-23 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
LOL Loved it. So Faith.

Date: 2010-09-23 10:33 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Thanks!

Date: 2010-09-24 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyofthelog.livejournal.com
HAHAHA, I love this! Clever format.

Date: 2010-09-24 02:29 am (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Thanks!

Date: 2010-09-24 09:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohwaluvusbab.livejournal.com
CLASSIC Faith. ♥

Date: 2010-09-24 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Ooh, she totally had twins from that one night stand with oz that you wrote! Kerith

Date: 2010-09-24 08:49 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Heh.

(My lips are sealed...)

Date: 2010-09-26 01:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gryfndor-godess.livejournal.com
This is utterly brilliant and adorable. Faith's voice is spot-on, and I actually really like how you don't specify the pairings b/c then to each her own.

Date: 2010-09-27 01:07 am (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Thanks!


I actually really like how you don't specify the pairings b/c then to each her own.

That's what I was thinking...

Date: 2010-09-30 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shakensilence.livejournal.com
Ha! Perfect Faith voice!

Date: 2010-09-30 10:37 pm (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Thanks!

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