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No, seriously. You've GOT to hear about this episode.
So, I just watched the episode of Lois & Clark called (as I think I've mentioned before) Swear To God, This Time We're Not Kidding.
The wedding episode. The third one, actually, but the first one that actually ends in Lois and Clark actually getting married.
...except, unbeknownst to the about-to-be-married couple, the Wedding Destroyer has had her psychiatrist smuggling tiny amounts of nitro into the insane asylum, inside nailpolish bottles. She uses all the nitro to blow a hole in the wall, and escapes, cackling manically.
The Wedding Destroyer then seeks refuge in the secret lair at the back of her psychiatrist's apartment, and begins to DESTROY LOIS'S WEDDING - mostly by burning down gazebos, and sending Lois tape recordings of the Wedding March playing over the sobs of terribly unhappy people.
Meanwhile, an angel called Mike (no, really) is hanging out in Metropolis trying to look after Lois and Clark - and disguises himself as a coffee seller, a street sweeper, and a wedding guest. Every time Lois and Clark see him, he introduces himself again, they go "Oh yeah! We remember you! You're Mike!" ...and then proceed to forget all about him. Because, after all, he's an angel, so people aren't supposed to remember him.
Apparently Mike has been doing this sort of thing for Lois and Clark (and everyone else) for a while now - this is just the first time we've seen him.
Anyway, Lois sneaks into the psychiatrist's secret lair, finds a second secret lair inside the first one, reads all the psychiatrist's files, and gets discovered by the psychiatrist - who proceeds to hold her at a gunpoint, tell her all of his evil plans, and then let her go. (No, really! He tells her everything, and then says "So... I'm going to let you go now. Have a nice day! See you when we ruin your wedding!" ...pretty much.)
Now, the Wedding Destroyer has come up with the perfect way to ruin Lois and Clark's wedding: she's going to substitute Lois's wedding ring for an Electro Wedding Ring Of DOOM, which will electrocute Lois right at the happiest moment of her life! What a brilliant plan!
...and she does. Lois collapses on the floor with all the standard fizzy electric flashing they always seem to have on TV when someone gets electrocuted, the others gasp in dismay, and the Wedding Destroyer walks in and cackles some more.
And proceeds to stand there and gloat. Not about how she's killed Lois, but about how she has the power to kill Lois (See? She's holding the ring-controlling remote right now!) and they are all at her mercy. Ahahahaha!
So...
It has been made perfectly clear that the Wedding Destroyer swapped the wedding rings, causing Lois to unknowingly put on the Electro Wedding Ring Of DOOM. And the Wedding Destroyer is standing there with the Remote Control Of Electro DOOM, waving it around and talking proudly, or should I say evilly, about how Lois, now wearing the Electro Wedding Ring Of DOOM, is at her mercy and could be killed any minute, because of this Electro Wedding Ring Of DOOM she's wearing.
And she says "Now, in a minute, I'm going to walk out of here, carrying my remote control, and you won't dare send Superman after me because if you do then I'll activate Lois's ring, and it will electrocute her! Even if I'm ten blocks from here!" and Clark gasps, terrified for Lois.
And then Clark steps towards her, and she says "No, no. One step closer, and I'll activate Lois's ring, and it will electrocute her! Hahaha!" and Clark stops and looks terrified again.
And Lois sits up, looking shaken, and the Wedding Destroyer waves her remote control and says "Hahaha! Lois, fear my wrath!", and Lois sits there and looks terrified.
And then they have a hugely tense standoff, with the Wedding Destroyer holding them all under her control because she has the power to electrocute Lois any time she feels like it, and the others trying desperately to convince the Wedding Destroyer that nobody ever loved her (yes, that's right - they try to talk the Wedding Destroyer out of killing them all by repeatedly telling her that no-one has ever loved her), and it's all very suspenseful and threatening.
AND NOT ONE PERSON THINKS THAT MAYBE LOIS COULD TAKE OFF HER WEDDING RING?!
...anyway, they manage to convince the Wedding Destroyer that yes, she is in fact despised by everyone who's ever met her, at which point she decides to let them go, and gets sent off to jail. You see, she's not crazy any more, so no more insane asylum for her.
And Lois cries, because she's now had three whole weddings, and she's still not married.
So Mike The Angel gets sick of this damn wedding being so complicated, and teleports them all off to a tropical island, where he proceeds to marry them. (Their wedding certificate lists the celebrant as "Divine Representation".)
So, all is well.
Did I mention that this is a perfectly ordinary, run of the mill episode of Lois & Clark, and I saw nothing unusual in it at all?
Yes, this show is kind of odd...
Tune in next episode, when Lois and Clark's attempt to finally consummate their marriage is interrupted by H.G.Wells, who takes them in his time machine back to the middle ages, to prevent their nemesis from the future from placing an evil curse on their souls that will mean that, every time (in every reincarnation) they meet, get married, and have sex, they will instantly die.
But when Clark, who is secretly Robin Hood, gives up medieval!Lois and lets her marry Future Nemesis Guy he will accidentally allow evil to triumph, and the world will forever more be doomed! Oh noes!
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Yes, I think I'm about to reach that one in my rewatch. Fun times...
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Seriously. This show is just insane.
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I rather enjoy hearing your plot summaries, because they're too ridiculous NOT to be true. :D
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Seriously?
SERIOUSLY?!
*dies laughing*
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This show enjoys silliness.
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I am forever grateful though, because it forced DC into having Clark and Lois in the comics get married and I love their relationship fiercely. Strongest man in the world completely whipped by his wife. No wonder no one guesses he's Superman.
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Awesome. :)
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