ext_30166: Sierra looking holy shit amazing (Default)
lavastar ([identity profile] lavastar.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] deird_lj 2009-08-16 02:37 am (UTC)

Hee! I mean, good for you and also sorry about the frustration? Or something?

I, however, do not believe in God - here's why:

1) I am nearsighted. I wear glasses for this. I do not wear these glasses in the shower. Therefore it is hard to tell what splotches on the shower floor are.

I see a splotch today, on the floor, and think, "Eh, probably dirt." I go about my showering business.

And FUCKFUCKFUCK IT MOVES. I lean down to tell what it is. IT'S A GIANT BUG.

And then I have to close my eyes to wash the shampoo out and THEN I OPEN THEM AND IT'S MOVING ACROSS THE FLOOR. AAHHHHHHH.

And then I get out and get someone else to kill it.

2) So then - directly after this, mind you - I go to have some lunch. I take a thing of milk out of the fridge, briefly noting that the lid's white instead of blue. "Huh, must have gotten a different brand without noticing, whatevs."

I pour a full glass, make the rest of my lunch, sit down, take a sip. FUCKFUCKFUCK IT TASTES DISGUSTING IT MUST BE SOUR. I pour it down the sink and take out the bottle to check the expiration date.

Was it sour, my friends? No, that's too simple! IT WAS FUCKING BUTTERMILK. WTF.

*sigh*

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