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Theatrical Woes
Second dress-rehearsal last night. And our first time with an audience. You see, the front-of-house people get a free showing at our second DR, and then tickets for the third DR go to charity. So from now on, if I stuff up, there are people watching.
And last night? I stuffed up.
And last night? I stuffed up.
It's all because of my silly list of women. I've managed to get that thing word-perfect for every rehearsal for two months, and now, I suddenly get it wrong.
In my defense, it is an insanely difficult set of lines. You see, my character is reading out a list of women advertising in the "Soulmates" column of the local newspaper. Actually, that's slightly inaccurate: there are three lists of women. At different points in the play. And here they are:
List One:
- Outgoing brunette, 24. Into people, music, arts, and laughing. Hopes to meet a gregarious, gorgeous guy for fun times.
- Slim redhead, F42, great sense of humour, left-wing atheist.
- Two lonely sculptresses seek man who will be putty in their hands. Sheffield.
- Semi-retired F50. Teacher, into arts, cinema, and home life.
List Two:
- Wendy still waiting for Peter.
- Veggie F. Arsenal, indie-rock, and comedy fan, 49. Seeks tall and tactile man who doubts I exist.
- Bright, feisty, fit, F41. Fship TLC and more in Norfolk.
List Three:
- Wendy still waiting for Peter, 37 to 40. Rooftops of London to explore art, coffee, and cake.
- 37, attractive, blonde, and petite. Seeks attractive M. 30 to 38, in similar circumstances.
- Veggie F. Arsenal, indie-rock, and comedy fan, 49. Seeks equally stimulating, slim, tall, and tactile man who doubts I exist.
- Bright, feisty, fit, F41. Works in the arts. Passionate about theatre and travel. WLTM M with GSOH for fship, TLC, and more. Norfolk.
Lists Two and Three, you see, are nearly identical. But the differences are important. It's essential that I say each version in the correct place, otherwise I stuff up everyone else's lines.
And last night, for the first time in months, I mixed up "slim redhead" with "semi-retired". Aargh!
Oh well. At least last night's audience weren't the people who paid for tickets.
Final DR tonight, and then we begin for real. Wish me much leg breakage...
In my defense, it is an insanely difficult set of lines. You see, my character is reading out a list of women advertising in the "Soulmates" column of the local newspaper. Actually, that's slightly inaccurate: there are three lists of women. At different points in the play. And here they are:
List One:
- Outgoing brunette, 24. Into people, music, arts, and laughing. Hopes to meet a gregarious, gorgeous guy for fun times.
- Slim redhead, F42, great sense of humour, left-wing atheist.
- Two lonely sculptresses seek man who will be putty in their hands. Sheffield.
- Semi-retired F50. Teacher, into arts, cinema, and home life.
List Two:
- Wendy still waiting for Peter.
- Veggie F. Arsenal, indie-rock, and comedy fan, 49. Seeks tall and tactile man who doubts I exist.
- Bright, feisty, fit, F41. Fship TLC and more in Norfolk.
List Three:
- Wendy still waiting for Peter, 37 to 40. Rooftops of London to explore art, coffee, and cake.
- 37, attractive, blonde, and petite. Seeks attractive M. 30 to 38, in similar circumstances.
- Veggie F. Arsenal, indie-rock, and comedy fan, 49. Seeks equally stimulating, slim, tall, and tactile man who doubts I exist.
- Bright, feisty, fit, F41. Works in the arts. Passionate about theatre and travel. WLTM M with GSOH for fship, TLC, and more. Norfolk.
Lists Two and Three, you see, are nearly identical. But the differences are important. It's essential that I say each version in the correct place, otherwise I stuff up everyone else's lines.
And last night, for the first time in months, I mixed up "slim redhead" with "semi-retired". Aargh!
Oh well. At least last night's audience weren't the people who paid for tickets.
Final DR tonight, and then we begin for real. Wish me much leg breakage...