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round and round in circles...
My attitude to the whole going-to-England thing tends to go in circles.
I’ll start off with
Relaxed Happiness
…in which I am generally content, and confident that I’m going to go, and it’ll all be fine, and I’ll have a great time.
This stage is fun while it lasts, but rapidly moves into
Doubt
…because, of course, there’s a big possibility that I won’t get to go. Especially if I can’t find a job in the next month or so.
Once this stage gets going, I end up in
Depression
…when I am completely and utterly convinced that I will be at least 70 before I get to see England.
This stage, happily, doesn’t generally last very long. It soon becomes
Determination
…to get there no matter what - even if it involves working in a bar, or even not working at all! I’ll sit on the streets and beg for money – as long as those streets are vaguely British!
Unfortunately, I’m not quite as carefree as all that. So this stage quickly turns into
Rationality
…because it would be incredibly dumb for me to travel halfway round the world without having a job beforehand.
So, instead of that, I move on a stage into
Organisation
…at which point I start frantically putting together job applications, and emails to potential employers, and so forth.
This stage could be really useful, but almost immediately turns into
Blind Panic
…about the entire situation. After all, if it works, then I will, two or three months from now, be on the other side of the world. Where I know almost no-one. And everything is strange, and scary, and different. AND I’M DOING THIS STUPID MOVING-ROUND-THE-WORLD THING PURELY SO THAT I CAN BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. WHICH IS INSANELY STUPID. I AM ENTIRELY MAD.
Thankfully, I eventually get over this stage, and go back to the Relaxed Happiness.
Right now, I’m stuck in the middle of Depression. I’ve spent the morning convinced that I’m not going to get a job – not ever – and it’s all entirely pointless.
But I think I’m going to see if I can skip a couple of stages, and go straight into the job-hunting bit. That’s much more productive, really.
*rushes off to email railway people*
I’ll start off with
Relaxed Happiness
…in which I am generally content, and confident that I’m going to go, and it’ll all be fine, and I’ll have a great time.
This stage is fun while it lasts, but rapidly moves into
Doubt
…because, of course, there’s a big possibility that I won’t get to go. Especially if I can’t find a job in the next month or so.
Once this stage gets going, I end up in
Depression
…when I am completely and utterly convinced that I will be at least 70 before I get to see England.
This stage, happily, doesn’t generally last very long. It soon becomes
Determination
…to get there no matter what - even if it involves working in a bar, or even not working at all! I’ll sit on the streets and beg for money – as long as those streets are vaguely British!
Unfortunately, I’m not quite as carefree as all that. So this stage quickly turns into
Rationality
…because it would be incredibly dumb for me to travel halfway round the world without having a job beforehand.
So, instead of that, I move on a stage into
Organisation
…at which point I start frantically putting together job applications, and emails to potential employers, and so forth.
This stage could be really useful, but almost immediately turns into
Blind Panic
…about the entire situation. After all, if it works, then I will, two or three months from now, be on the other side of the world. Where I know almost no-one. And everything is strange, and scary, and different. AND I’M DOING THIS STUPID MOVING-ROUND-THE-WORLD THING PURELY SO THAT I CAN BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. WHICH IS INSANELY STUPID. I AM ENTIRELY MAD.
Thankfully, I eventually get over this stage, and go back to the Relaxed Happiness.
Right now, I’m stuck in the middle of Depression. I’ve spent the morning convinced that I’m not going to get a job – not ever – and it’s all entirely pointless.
But I think I’m going to see if I can skip a couple of stages, and go straight into the job-hunting bit. That’s much more productive, really.
*rushes off to email railway people*
no subject
This probably doesn't help, but I'm going to tell you a story anyway.
A friend of mine decided she wanted to go live in Japan. She doesn't speak Japanese, and couldn't figure out why the hell she thought it was such a good idea. But, she landed a job and went there to teach English to Japanese people anyway.
It was really scary, a lot of it sucked, she misses people all the time.. but now that her visa is up, she desperately does NOT want to leave Japan.
So..maybe if you have this idea that you want to go, and need to go, and that it will be the best thing ever..maybe you're right. And you should do everything you can to go, and nip the blind panic in the butt - cause if you think you'll love it, you probably will.
...plus on a totally selfish note, I wanna go to England, and it would be a hoot to run into you there.
no subject
*hugs* Thanks for the lovely reassurance. And you're right - I really should.
...plus on a totally selfish note, I wanna go to England, and it would be a hoot to run into you there.
That would be so much fun! Do that!