Stalkers and Other Irritations

[deird_lj]

Get this:

Pratty Email Guy, after being asked not to email me, waits maybe a month, and then emails me.

I email back, for one reason: he quoted something incorrectly, and I am entirely incapable of letting it pass.

He then starts emailing me regularly, but cuts out most of the being-in-love-with-me crap that was the main reason I wanted him to stop emailing me to start with. This is okay, so I email back in a moderately friendly fashion, but draw clear, uncrossable lines in the sand regarding topics of conversation.

A week ago, he emails me in an aggrieved fashion, and accuses me of "leading him on", by saying that I wasn't interested in him, and then making my emails interesting to read (and thus making him think of me as being desirable).

He also tells me I'm not making myself clear. This is despite a myriad of emails from me containing such vague statements as "I'm not interested in you", "STOP ASKING ME OUT!!!", and "I couldn't care less if I hurt your feelings."

Then, this morning, he emails me to say that he's realised he might be a bit obsessed with me (nah, really?) and he thinks we should stop emailing each other more than once a month so that he can get perspective.

Then...
IN THE EXACT SAME EMAIL,
he offers to pay for me to fly to Canberra, so that we can "think about how to develop our relationship".

!!!

I have tried pretty much every possible way to get through to this imbecile. I have told him, unequivocaly, multiple times, that I do not, under any circumstances, wish to have a relationship with him. I have tried giving reasons, saying no without any reasons, giving no reply of any variety, and explaining my position in excruciating detail. Is it really possible to be that thick?!!!



For the record, I am not interested in any comments telling me that he's an idiot (already know that one) or that I should block his emails (they're really far too entertaining) or that he's harrassing me and I need a restraining order (trust me, I have been harrassed to a far greater extent than he's managed). Any suggestions involving scorpions, mime artists, or other forms of torture will, however, be gratefully appreciated.

Also any comments involving rocket launchers - they're always fun.

Comments

[kirby1024.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is indeed possible to be that thick.

As for torture, well, how about we turn him into a mime, then fire scorpion rockets at him? All three basic torture groups in one! Score!

[taiba.livejournal.com]

Teehee, that's funny :-p

[carlos-v-b.livejournal.com]

Could you arrange for the Canberra public transport bureau to have a railway built through his house?

Just a thought.

[kerithave.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THIS MAN!! I swear I should be paying him for the kind of amusement he gives me!!

[ib-stormcaller.livejournal.com]

take the ticket... then give it to *almost any kornerite male* - after showing him the email convos if you can... problem solved :-)

especially if you can get the whole first meeting videoed :-)

[taiba.livejournal.com]

I was going to suggest taking the free holiday, make him buy you meals and pay for all your touristy stuff, and then saying "See? THIS is leading you on! Not being the fantastically interesting person that I am!" Or something along those lines :-p

but I like carlos_v_b's better ;-)