You know...

[deird_lj]

My favourite tv/books/etc include:
- massive curry monsters
- dragons with explosive digestion
- an episode in with everyone turns into Looney Tunes cartoons
- England being ruled by mermaids
- a song about the wonder that is SUITS
- Lois and Clark getting married by an angel and then going back in time to break a soulmates-consummation-curse
- Groundhog Day
- people being brought back to life by a piemaker
- people being welcomed into their death by grim reapers who hang out at a waffle restaurant
- The Muppet Show
- a fashion consultant turned bounty hunter
- a planet filled with nothing but Arnold Rimmer, over and over again
- Death's grand-daughter fighting evil with half of Time's son and a formerly-evil chick who suicides in a vat of chocolate
- fanfic all-Penguin AUs


And this? Twangel destiny-sex that destroys the world?

This is too cracky for me.


Here endeth the lesson.

Comments

[quinara]

Trufax.

It's because mini!super-strength!Lister wouldn't be able to take out Twuffy with a can of lager...

[deird1]

Probably not. But someone should still write him trying. *nominates you*

I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

While Lister finished eating the dead curry monster off the floor, the others could only watch in a strange mixture of disgust and awe, when suddenly Holly appeared on the screen.

"Picking up something strange on the long range scanners. Calling red alert. Red alert!"

"What is it?" Rimmer asked, while the Cat looked around at the completely unaffected corridor, strangely still expecting some sort of siren.

Holly frowned. "I'm trying to get a visual, but all I can see is the porn you loaded on my vidscreen last night."

"Oh, sir," Kryten butted in. "I was saving those tissues for the next time we watched Casablanca..."

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Rimmer protested, straightening his uniform. "I may have indulged in a few favourite examples from French film-bleu movement, but none deserve so smutty a title as..."

"Astro-Tits and her Space Shuttle Adventures?" Holly began to reel off the titles still in her admittedly limited memory. "Rocky the Rocket in the Terra Incognita? It's all here..."

Rimmer continued to protest, but in the meantime the Cat made his way into the cockpit caught sight of something truly hideous. "Oh, yeuch!" he cried out, shielding his eyes.

For there, in front of the ship, was possibly the most ugly sight a cat could ever see: two humans going at it, their bodies lacking all grace and not looking so dissimilar from gnomes. He covered his eyes. "Oh, great mother, make it stop!"

Apparently his cries were loud enough to bring the others running, or maybe they all needed a distraction from the thought of Rimmer with his porn. "Oh my," Kryten said, before Lister, still small and superhuman came running in behind them.

"Who the hell is that smegger?" Lister squeaked, after a distinctly curry-flavoured belch. "And why has he got a tattoo of a lobster on his back?"

"I believe that is an angel, sir," Kryten replied. "A messenger of God in Judeo-Christianity."

"Well, he could kindly move his backside out of the way of the ship," said Rimmer at last. "Or turn around so we could see whoever owns those legs around his waist."

"Just get them outta here!" cried Cat, as the body started to thrust - though of course, with no air resistance or surface to push against, this mostly resulted in a wiggle. "I think I'm gonna die!"

"It's all right, Cat," Lister promised, pulling forward another can of lager he'd brought with him and shaking it mightily above his head. "I'm the man for this!"

And then, with the most terrifying of tiny war cries, Lister released the ringpull on the lager, spraying it at the window and obscuring the horrifying sight from view.

"Full speed ahead, Holly," Rimmer commanded with a shudder, worried what they would see when the froth had faded away.

"Setting course for the next moon," Holly confirmed. "I think you'll like this one; it's called Twilight."

Little did they know the real horrors that awaited them...

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Heee!

*silently curses you for thinking up this idea first*

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[mymatedave.livejournal.com]

Just think, there's a pun out there that you'll never-wait. I don't want to tempt you, I know what you're like.

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

:D

I'm sure the adventure could be continued in some way...

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Continuumed, surely?

Brava, overall, though!

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

Point, very much so.

Cheers!

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[mymatedave.livejournal.com]

Magnificence. And you cruel, cruel woman doing that our "heroes."

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

Cheers! Though I do feel sorry for the Cat; he'll be grooming it out of his system for weeks...

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[deird1]

*applauds*

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

*bows*

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Okay, I know nothing about Red Dwarf but this is hilarious! Hee!

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

This may or make not make everything clearer.

Ah, if only I could do justice to the actual show...

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Could they not just have run them over in passing? Please, pretty please?

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

I fear that if Buffy can live through the lack of pressure and oxygen, a mere thing like the Red Dwarf will not be able to touch her...

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[gillo]

You rock like a rocky thing made out of granite.

though of course, with no air resistance or surface to push against, this mostly resulted in a wiggle.

This has been concerning me ever since I saw the super-speed airscrew pics. I know they have super-muscles, but WTF?

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

Why, thank you!

It's definitely one in the eye for Willow's 'magic works off physics', whatever's supposed to be going on. Because physics it ain't.

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[deird1]

Physics-compliant (Spuffy) sex can easily be written with more realism. And that makes it much more entertaining. :)

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[quinara]

Exactly!!

Re: I think I've forgotten too much Red Dwarf.

[gillo]

Anti-physics. Possibly like the anti-Christ, but way sillier.