Put the book down, and BACK AWAY...

[deird_lj]

On the train home this afternoon, there was a girl reading Twilight.

Somehow I managed to restrain myself from ripping the book out of her hands and begging her to read something more productive... like Cosmo.

Comments

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be a scary lurker stalker type person, but I have this insatiable need to bash Twilight whenever possible. For some inexplicable reason a lot of my friends are all 'Oh, Edward! He is soooo romantic!' or 'Ooh, Jacob!' While I just sit there going, 'Uh, hello? Heard of Mary Sues and Gary Stus?' Because that's so what pretty much every character is - reading it is basically like you're reading Stephenie Meyer's creepy-ass fantasy where she's incredibly perfect and her boyfriend is too, yet there love is dooooooomed. Which is kind of awkward, actually, cause you feel like you're intruding on her weird dream-land of wonder. It's total crap writing, yet a lot of girls are into it because they're too stupid naive to realize that the perfect boyfriend doesn't really exist.

It does kind of have that 'guilty pleasure' thing going for it, though - which explains the fanaticism on both sides of hating it or loving it. A really hilarious and scarily accurate mostly-complete chapter-by-chapter review of it starts here.

And seriously? Vampires that sparkle in the sunlight? That part made me laugh my ass off, actually. Although it means a lot of people I know now think they know everything about vampires, or something, and insist on correcting me that 'No, vampires don't set on fire in the sun, they sparkle!' And I'm like, 'Okay, yeah they don't exist, but there's actually an established thing going on here in common mythology and pop culture that says they do, so shut up.'

Um. Anyways. I guess I did end up being all scary lurker stalker type person here. Sorry. I tend to get a bit crazy when people mention Twilight. *small cough*

[deird1]

How the heck could you be a scary lurker? You've been here for weeks...

but I have this insatiable need to bash Twilight whenever possible

Don't we all? I haven't read it, but I have so much fun reading snark about it.
I really don't understand why some people love it so much.

the perfect boyfriend doesn't really exist

Exactly. And plus, Edward? Hardly the perfect boyfriend. He's more a semi-abusive stalker with a martyrdom complex. Kinda creepy, really.

A really hilarious and scarily accurate mostly-complete chapter-by-chapter review of it starts here.

Hee! That's fantastic! And really accurate...

Although it means a lot of people I know now think they know everything about vampires, or something, and insist on correcting me that 'No, vampires don't set on fire in the sun, they sparkle!'

Oh dear...
But come on, people! Not even Dracula sparkled!
(The Ultraviolet vamps actually took it to the other extreme: any sunlight made them explode. Violently.)

I tend to get a bit crazy when people mention Twilight.

Quite understandable. :)

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

How the heck could you be a scary lurker? You've been here for weeks..

*shifty eyes* No I haven't...*throws self under bush*

Don't we all? I haven't read it, but I have so much fun reading snark about it. I really don't understand why some people love it so much.

*sigh* It's basically just about fantasies and wish fulfillment and unrealistic, adolescent notions about love. Even though, really, the whole thing just has a squick factor, despite everyone saying how 'romantic' it is. Because hearing about how someone watches me sleeping every night, like Edward does with Bella, well, that would really make me want to engage in a tortuously long and angsty relationship with them. *eye roll*

Exactly. And plus, Edward? Hardly the perfect boyfriend. He's more a semi-abusive stalker with a martyrdom complex. Kinda creepy, really.

Iknorite! He's all like 'I hate you. Go away.' But then he's like 'I said it because I want to eat you so much and can't be near you', and that makes it romantic? Hmmm...This somehow isn't the worst aspects of Bangel on steroids? Plus there's the part where he's always telling Bella what she should do for her own safety or whatever. And then she does the stupid thing anyways, and he's like 'You're dumb and suicidal'. *sigh*

And, hey, look what I found on Whedonesque! A very, very accurate article comparing Bella to Buffy! And here it is. (If it gives you some weird ad thing, just click Enter in the top right.) It makes some very good points about how Edward basically becomes Bella's entire life, and how Buffy, while she does experience love, does have other stuff to do. And how Bella's really wimpy and damsel-in-distress-y - not that she has to have super powers, but she's really emotionally weak. And how she basically has no personality so any girl reading it can substitute themselves for Bella and experience the oh-so-perfect love of the oh-so-perfect vampire. It's quite interesting, IMO.