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A Tale Of Two Phonecalls
I just spent half an hour on the phone, trying desperately to get one sentence's worth of information out of my uni.
Here, for your amusement, is the gripping tale of my phonecall, as summarised in who-I-was-talking-to headings...
2:00 - "Future Students" office
The number was listed on the website, and it looked like the best option for what I was wanting to find out.
After hearing my explanation of the info I needed, the guy I was talking to transferred my call to...
2:01 - the Arts Faculty
An automated system, which gave me a whole bunch of options I didn't quite understand, and told me to pick the applicable one.
It then told me the option I picked was invalid, and hung up on me.
So I tried again.
2:03 - "General Enquiries" number
Once again, I explained the information I needed to find out.
The woman I spoke to was pretty sure she knew where I needed to go. So she transferred my call to...
2:04 - Student Services
Where I stayed on hold, listening to those "your call is important to us, really truly, we like you, stay on hold, don't hang up, we'll talk to you soon and we really mean it this time" recorded messages.
For twenty minutes.
Finally, someone answered, listened to my explanation (now becoming slightly briefer and more terse), and transferred me to...
2:25 - the Arts Research Facility
They spent a few minutes searching for my information on the computer system, then decided that I'd rung the wrong location, and transferred me to...
2:28 - the Arts Faculty
Yep. The same automated system that had previously hung up on me.
I decided to fool it, by picking a different option that still sounded vaguely okay.
That sent me through to...
2:29 - the dark depths of the Arts Faculty
Another recorded system. That had the option of talking to...
2:30 - the Switchboard
Where someone listened to my (very terse) explanation, and asked what faculty this was supposed to go through.
To which I said "The Arts faculty - but DON'T transfer me there again, PLEASE!"
So the nice lady promised she'd find me someone real, and instead transferred me to...
2:32 - the Arts Research Facility
As in the last group of people who had sent me to the automated system.
I headdesked, explained to the lady that, yes, this was the wrong place, but PLEASE, NOT THE ARTS FACULTY AGAIN - and she very kindly transferred me to...
2:34 - Coursework
Whereupon I explained, yet again, that:
"I've applied to do a course next year, and I just want to check that my application hasn't been lost."
Two seconds went past.
Then I got an answer: "No, it's not lost. I've got it right here."
...and I hung up the phone.
IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS COMPLICATED.
Here, for your amusement, is the gripping tale of my phonecall, as summarised in who-I-was-talking-to headings...
2:00 - "Future Students" office
The number was listed on the website, and it looked like the best option for what I was wanting to find out.
After hearing my explanation of the info I needed, the guy I was talking to transferred my call to...
2:01 - the Arts Faculty
An automated system, which gave me a whole bunch of options I didn't quite understand, and told me to pick the applicable one.
It then told me the option I picked was invalid, and hung up on me.
So I tried again.
2:03 - "General Enquiries" number
Once again, I explained the information I needed to find out.
The woman I spoke to was pretty sure she knew where I needed to go. So she transferred my call to...
2:04 - Student Services
Where I stayed on hold, listening to those "your call is important to us, really truly, we like you, stay on hold, don't hang up, we'll talk to you soon and we really mean it this time" recorded messages.
For twenty minutes.
Finally, someone answered, listened to my explanation (now becoming slightly briefer and more terse), and transferred me to...
2:25 - the Arts Research Facility
They spent a few minutes searching for my information on the computer system, then decided that I'd rung the wrong location, and transferred me to...
2:28 - the Arts Faculty
Yep. The same automated system that had previously hung up on me.
I decided to fool it, by picking a different option that still sounded vaguely okay.
That sent me through to...
2:29 - the dark depths of the Arts Faculty
Another recorded system. That had the option of talking to...
2:30 - the Switchboard
Where someone listened to my (very terse) explanation, and asked what faculty this was supposed to go through.
To which I said "The Arts faculty - but DON'T transfer me there again, PLEASE!"
So the nice lady promised she'd find me someone real, and instead transferred me to...
2:32 - the Arts Research Facility
As in the last group of people who had sent me to the automated system.
I headdesked, explained to the lady that, yes, this was the wrong place, but PLEASE, NOT THE ARTS FACULTY AGAIN - and she very kindly transferred me to...
2:34 - Coursework
Whereupon I explained, yet again, that:
"I've applied to do a course next year, and I just want to check that my application hasn't been lost."
Two seconds went past.
Then I got an answer: "No, it's not lost. I've got it right here."
...and I hung up the phone.
IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS COMPLICATED.