I emphatically do not want to hug Steve Jobs right now.



In the last two months, the things I have done to Lilac include:
- archive & install
- archive & install
- erase & install
- archive & install
- erase & install
- erase & install

That being a total of SIX complete reinstallations of the software. In many different ways.*

THIS IS NOT A SOFTWARE ISSUE.

* Plus, having to reinstall it again after the two times Lilac spontaneously erased herself...


I discovered, this afternoon, that when I took Lilac in to Apple to have her RAM redone (or so they told me) they did not, in fact, put in new RAM. Or take out the old RAM. Or do anything remotely hardware related.

Apparently, they started by reinstalling the software (an "erase & install") - and then Lilac appeared to be working perfectly.


I could have told them that. That is, in fact, precisely what has happened after the LAST SIX TIMES the software has been reinstalled. Followed by her working perfectly for a couple of days, and then not working anymore.


It staggers me that a bunch of people WHO HAVE ACCESS TO MY ENTIRE TWO-MONTH-LONG HISTORY OF REPEATEDLY RINGING APPLE, including ALL the details of what was done, can do something I've already done, see my computer functioning well for a whole half an hour, and conclude it was all a software problem that's now completely repaired.


*fumes*

I just rang the Apple Store to find out when my computer would actually be repaired (given that I've now been computerless for over a week, and my housemate is starting to get sick of me borrowing hers).

And they go "Oh, yeah, that's fixed and ready to pick up."



...and you were planning on telling me about this WHEN???

*scowls*

So, apparently repairs are not taking an extraordinarily long time. They just forgot to let me know when they were done.

Lilac is in computer hospital, waiting for a frontal lobotomy.**

Thankfully, I have her personality saved on an external hard-drive, so she'll be able to make a nearly-full recovery.

*misses my files*


Actually, this is costing me no money, and is getting done for me by cheerful Mac guys who smile and make reassuring jokes when I go in to wibble at them over Lilac being sick. So... pretty good, in some ways.



** Well, actually a removal of all RAM, but that doesn't sound nearly so fascinating.

1) Am currently posting from housemate's computer, because Lilac is stubbornly refusing to turn on at ALL. This is inhibiting my ability to do very important homework - and also to check very unimportant (but fun) internetness.

2) Went to my ten year high school reunion last night. One of my classmates had a comb-over. This is making me feel old...

3) Have almost no voice, due to being sick this week. Made worse by a) talking to people at the very loud reunion, and b) spending ages on the phone to the Apple guys trying to placate Lilac.

4) Have no heating in my house. Very freezing. I've set up a tiny little space heater, which Smudge adores and is lying in front of looking cute and kittenish. Elf is taking advantage of this distraction to enjoy the rest of the house, kitten-harrassment-free.

5) Have a messy house. Really should clean it up. Have no time.



So... no voice, no computer, no heating... *sighs*

Life is good. I have lovely nephews, and pattable cats, and a bookcase of fascinating reading material, and a piano, and cough drops, and wine, and I WILL BE HAPPY, DAMMIT.

*glares at world stubbornly*

Lilac (my computer) has not been feeling well. She keeps unexpectedly freezing - which is very upsetting for both of us.

(Don't worry - she's about to be all nice and healthy again. Apparently, the way to repair Macs is by opening up the "First Aid" application, hitting "Repair", and then continuing on with your day... *hugs Steve Jobs*)


But I did end up having a rather challenging problem to deal with last night.

It went like this:
- Date and time are wrong (Lilac is confused, poor dear, and thinks it's 2001).
- To reassure Lilac that it is, in fact, 2010, I need to open up the internet, with all its fabulous YES, THIS IS 2010 messages.
- Internet will not open.
- Lilac starts telling me that I want to open a dangerous, evil, and WRONG website, that clearly can't be trusted, and she is protecting me!
- I, on the other hand, am pretty sure that the Uni Website I'm opening (because I'm at uni and it needs my password before I can access any more internet) is safe and lovely.
- Lilac and I have a lengthy argument on the subject.
- Finally, I realise the problem. The EVIL UNI WEBSITE is, horrifyingly, telling Lilac that it's 2010. It LIES and is clearly EVIL AND MALICIOUS. Lilac is sure it's 2001, and needs to protect me against nasty people who keep lying to me about the date...


*sighs*

*pets my poor, sickly computer*

Just once, I wish a company would explain that they've started using the new system because it's "convenient to us".


Last month it was my rent. I now have to use a new card system - because it's "for YOUR convenience!" - and I still haven't managed to figure out how to use it. What I actually found convenient was the old system, when I could still pay my rent any way I felt like it.

And now? It's Delicious.
( inconvenience )

The world really doesn't like people who don't like computers.

( tales of woe )

Yes, I left my work computer on all night. I am terrible and energy wasting, and must be shunned.

(Although I did, in fact, turn my screen off, so I'm not all bad.)


Apparently work has decided that the best strategy for turning us into Happy Little Energy Savers is to shame/bribe us into it. By giving people who turn off their computers chocolate, and taping Big Black Balloons Of Nasty Blackness to the computers that were still on.

(One might wonder if, in fact, the energy wasted by manufacturing hundreds of black balloons is going to balance out the energy saved by turning the computers off... if one were cynical and heartless and uncaring.)


And yes, I got a black balloon. Oh the shame.

The thing is, the work computers are ancient. And turning them on takes about five or six minutes. During which you can't wander off and do something else, because every minutes or so you have to press a button so that they keep turning on.
I am not willing to waste that much time every morning.

Also, our work email system completely closes all emails every time it's turned off, so you can't go back to something you were working on earlier - you have to start all over again.
I am not willing to track down all the emails I was dealing with AGAIN every single morning.


*will continue to waste energy until work upgrades their computer system, you morons*

My dvd player broke a few days ago - no idea why. It just stopped in the middle of Frasier, wouldn't play anything, wouldn't open the disc-thingy, wouldn't turn off, and was stubbornly refusing to tell me why.

So I tried everything I could think of (turning off the powerpoint, unplugging the leads, and pressing pretty much every button on my remote), and then opened the manual and tried everything that suggested, and my dvd player still was sitting there not doing anything.

...so I rang my dad.

(My dad has a strange superpower which allows him to spontaneously make things work just by being in the room. Once, he went overseas for five weeks, and our cd player broke down the day he left. We couldn't do anything to make it turn on. And then, when he got back, we said "Dad, the cd player's not working," and he walked into the lounge, turned the cd player on, and said "What's the problem?"
He is incredible.)

Sure enough, my dad had only to reach out and touch my dvd player for a moment, and it instantly fixed itself and started behaving properly...

Currently fighting the urge to visit the IT department with a baseball bat and a flamethrower.

( evil, evil, IT guys )