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1) Yes, I did just have a flu vaccine. No, that doesn't mean that I'm a sucker who's been taken in by a scam to get me to pay for something that doesn't work. (It's a FREE vaccine. I didn't pay at ALL.) Also, the fact that I am now drowsy is a temporary side-effect, and NOT evidence that the only thing the flu vaccine does is make you sicker.

2) No, my parents are NOT subsidising my rent. Yes, I do want to go to England, and can't afford it. This is not a good reason to laugh at me and tell me I should be able to save more money. Nor is it a reason to tell me my parents suck and I need new ones when I inform you that, in fact, I'm paying full rent.

3) So you've had an article published in a magazine. Congratulations! Why do you keep telling me this as proof that you are superior to all us lesser mortals who have not been published? Also - the fact that I have had a book review published doesn't mean that I was "cribbing off someone else's work" by discussing a book I hadn't written. Nor is your publication proof that you know more about writing than I do - STOP TELLING ME THAT IT IS.

(Yes, this all happened today.)
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You know how in softball/baseball/game-with-bases-off-your-choice, people sometimes slide into base and end up lying full-length on the ground because they're trying to get to the base so fast?

This morning I saw someone do this through the about-to-close doors of my train.

In other news, the floor below mine at work has a huge inflatable Dalek. I want to smuggle it up here somehow...
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I am getting rather sick of a certain comment.

It keeps happening, every day, while I'm in the kitchen at work, waiting for my tea to brew, or standing in the lift, waiting to reach my floor, or sitting at my desk, waiting for my computer to turn on*.

Inevitably, I'll have someone look over and say:
"Must be a good book."

...because I'm reading a book. While doing something else. *gasps*

Seriously, how do normal people read books? Do they pick up the book, carry it (still closed) over to a chair, sit down, open the book, read it in an engrossed fashion, and then close it, stand up, and resume their lives?

I don't. I carry a book in one hand. It's a simple way to relieve boredom while, for instance, waiting for tea to brew. Or while stuck in a lift with people I don't know.

How is this worth commenting on?

* (Ten minutes to start! That's just not right.)
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Yes, I left my work computer on all night. I am terrible and energy wasting, and must be shunned.

(Although I did, in fact, turn my screen off, so I'm not all bad.)

Apparently work has decided that the best strategy for turning us into Happy Little Energy Savers is to shame/bribe us into it. By giving people who turn off their computers chocolate, and taping Big Black Balloons Of Nasty Blackness to the computers that were still on.

(One might wonder if, in fact, the energy wasted by manufacturing hundreds of black balloons is going to balance out the energy saved by turning the computers off... if one were cynical and heartless and uncaring.)

And yes, I got a black balloon. Oh the shame.

The thing is, the work computers are ancient. And turning them on takes about five or six minutes. During which you can't wander off and do something else, because every minutes or so you have to press a button so that they keep turning on.
I am not willing to waste that much time every morning.

Also, our work email system completely closes all emails every time it's turned off, so you can't go back to something you were working on earlier - you have to start all over again.
I am not willing to track down all the emails I was dealing with AGAIN every single morning.

*will continue to waste energy until work upgrades their computer system, you morons*
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...because they rock. Completely.

Sure, I've got the groovy engineering degree that says I can understand big important railway projects.

But... they can find obscurely-titled documents!
And write letters!
And fix the printer to stop it spitting out pages of all-blackness!
And schedule meetings!
And arrange going-away presents!
And recharge cameras!
And find me official letterhead to print on!
And order stationery!

They're AWESOME!

(This post was brought to you by a frustrating morning, made much less frustrating by the wonderful people who know how to touch-type and use their superpowers of secretarying for the greater good.)
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Not only am I the proud possessor of a secret rubbish bin, hidden furtively under my desk, but I've now snuck in my own tea.

I'm heartily sick of the crappy tea options available at my work (basically, no-name brand in teabags - horrible stuff).
My desk now has a space set aside for some quality loose-leaf English Breakfast, and an infuser.

I have just had the first worthwhile cup of tea I've ever drunk at work, and am feeling very happy and content.

Vive La Revolution!

(Having studied my tea leaves, I'm fairly convinced that they depict a couple of roosters standing under a tree. I'm sure that's probably terribly significant in some obscure way...)
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Today I had to walk down 13 flights of stairs.
...which was actually harder than it sounds.

Seriously - you'd think that up would be the hard bit, and down would pretty much come naturally, but apparently not. By the end, my calves were killing me!

This is all because we had our yearly Office Fire Drill.
An event which was severely complicated by the fact that the one person on our floor who knows where the emergency staircase is, is currently in hospital. We spent several minutes wandering aimlessly around the office, opening random cupboards, trying to find the stairs before the imaginary fire incinerated our floor...

I now have several photos of a skyscraper's-worth of people all standing around in a nearby park.
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My boss - or, rather, my boss's boss's boss's boss - is on an unending quest to abolish all business attire.

A year ago, when he first became head honcho (his job is, basically, the same as Sir Humphrey Appleby's), he promptly banned ties.

Well - not banned them, actually. He just declared that ties were no longer a compulsory part of business wear, and no-one had to wear them unless they really wanted to.

Our office became 80% tieless within a week.

And now, he's decided that having Casual Fridays just isn't good enough.

(Casual Fridays, for those who don't know, mean that we get to spend Fridays wearing jeans, or so forth. They're very fun.)

My last job had Casual Fridays for a price - you had to pay $2 if you wanted to wear casual clothes. And the job before that had Casual Fridays on the first Friday of the month.
I thought getting a Casual Friday, free of charge, every single week was doing pretty well. But no. Apparently not.

We now get Casual Fridays and Casual Mondays.

Today's the first one.

Currently, half the office are wearing suits (without ties) and the rest are in jeans - and spent most of the morning having whispered conversations with each other, trying to figure out if they were right about it being a Casual Monday, or if they'd accidentally misinterpreted the Big Boss's email and made a huge non-suit-wearing faux pas...
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The guy who sits next to me at work is... well, he's a lovely guy. And I do like sitting next to him, really I do.

But he has this habit.

Every single time my mobile (or anyone else's, for that matter) gets an sms, and does the standard double-beeping noise, he beeps too.
Seriously - my phone goes "beep-beep", and he instantly says "beep-beep" in exactly the same way.

I've had quite a few messages this morning. And even though he really is a lovely guy, and I really enjoy working with him, right now I want to do nothing so much as BEAT HIS BRAINS IN.

ETA: Okay. You guys are just fantastic.
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A while ago, my work, in an attempt to seem environmentally friendly, provided us with a whole lot of Recycled Paper bins around the office.
So that we'd recycle paper, rather than throwing it away.

And, in an attempt to make sure we used them, they took away all our rubbish bins.

That's right. We are not allowed to have rubbish bins, because they want to encourage recycling.
So, for instance, if you open a chocolate bar, you have to walk all the way to the other side of the building to put the wrapper into the kitchen bins, or else leave the wrapper (along with any other little bits of plastic, tissues, and apple cores) on your desk until you have time to make a big trip with everything.

So, sick of my desk looking like a bomb site, I have just bought myself a rubbish bin.

It is hidden under my desk, and lurks there, trying to seem inconspicuous and non-rubbish-bin-like, slowly filling up with random bits of litter - suddenly giving me one of the cleanest desks in the building.

*feels very naughty*


Feb. 4th, 2009 08:17 am
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Yes, I am wearing a hat.




Anyone think this is strangely weird and worthy of a whole post?

For some reason, every person who's walked into work this morning has immediately commented on my hat. I'm not exactly sure why...


Dec. 12th, 2008 11:33 am
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Santa just walked into the office.

One of the men I work with walked out of the loos dressed in a full Santa outfit, calling out "Ho Ho Ho!", and currently has each of us going up in turn to sit on Santa's knee, get a photo, and get a present filled with lollies, kazoos, and balloons.

There are now a huge number of balloons being used in impromptue desk-volleyball games around the office.

I love my work during the silly season...
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I really am rather in love with our coffee machine.

Which is kind of weird, because I don't drink coffee.

But my work has a spectacular coffee machine that can produce fifteen different varieties of coffee, and the most delicious hot chocolate I've had in ages.
For free.

I take advantage of this as often as possible.


Oct. 9th, 2008 09:46 am
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Currently fighting the urge to visit the IT department with a baseball bat and a flamethrower.

evil, evil, IT guys )
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There's a twisted sort of logic used by the people who program the air conditioner at my work.

You see, because we're on something called a planet, which rotates, we have these things called seasons. There's a season called summer, which is very hot, and a season called winter, which is cold. Right now we're in the bit in between - known as spring - which is a bit hotter than winter, but not quite as hot as summer.

And air conditioners are used to make things colder.
sort of logical )
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No, I don't care if it is on-topic.
I realise that the group was discussing accounting mistakes, and how easy it was for $5,000 to become $50,000. So yes, your comment was kinda relevant.

But please, in the future, try to remember:
If you tell a group of men (especially if that group is mostly made up of engineers) that you almost ended up paying $700 for a massage, there will probably be much hilarity at your expense...

That is all.

(ETA: mostly because it makes people very suspicious about what kind of massage I'm getting...)

My View

Jun. 24th, 2008 02:19 pm
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My office window is about to lose its view.

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26 is off to a nice start.

I brought home-made muffins into work yesterday. It's sort of considered obligatory to provide your own birthday cake for the rest of the office to pig out on - but I'm going to be profoundly sick of cake by the end of the week, so muffins seemed like a better idea. And everyone else seemed to like them.

My sister brought Alex and a birthday card around last night, and before I opened the door I heard him carefully practising "Happy Birthday Auntie Mewwyan!" (That's right - I am no longer "Auntie Maz". I am now "Auntie Mewwyan", which is as close as he can get to pronouncing my name, and makes me profoundly thrilled every time I hear it.)

Many thanks to all my lovely flist people who wished me a happy birthday. It was just wonderful getting to read that when I turned on the internet.
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The two most essential ingredients for maintaining sanity in an office kitchen area? Teabags, and freddos.


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October 2010



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