![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird_ljFinished! Finally finished this most ridiculous of shows, which is far too addictive for its own good!
(Yes, I did just watch three seasons in one hit. I am slightly obsessed.)
This last lot included:
Season 8
New Order (1&2)
Jack takes over Thor’s ship, and gets unfrozen (in that order). Sam deals with Evil Replicator Guy, who is madly in love with her, pretends to be on a farm, and then creates his own copy of her. And Elizabeth Weir is now a different actress (shame – I liked the original one) and bluffs a whole lot of Goa’ulds with the threat of a not-working Antarctica Death Ray.
And one Goa’uld guy asks for asylum… Which is interesting…
They now have a groovy Replicator-melting gun. I am very glad, because Replicators freak me out, and now I can stop cringing with fear every time they appear.
Lockdown
O’Neill is in charge! I think this means Stargate Atlantis has begun – although I’m not sure what happened there.
Anyway, Anubis is controlling everyone, so there’s an evil Russian guy, and then he becomes evil!Daniel, and then evil!Sam, and then evil!Jack, and then evil Russian guy again.
I think this episode would be a lot more interesting if they hadn’t done similar stuff about ten times before.
(Plus, they try to be all moving and sentimental – that never ends well.)
Zero Hour
Jack writes a letter of resignation – which takes the entire episode, and is extremely entertaining, especially as the situation on the base gets more and more ridiculous. (My favourite problem being the alien plant that gradually takes over the entire SGC.)
So he deals with an exploding ZPM, stops Baal from capturing people, runs around trying to figure out how to stop the alien plant, argues with Walter, fools a Goa’uld, locks diplomats in a room together and refuses to let them out, and continues writing that letter of resignation…
Jack is so fun…
Icon
SG-1 causes a nuclear holocaust! Started by a religious war! Woo!
Fun, but not terribly memorable. Although Daniel talking in code is funny.
Avatar
I have already ranted about this one.
Silly, silly, SG-1. When will they ever learn that giving a hostile computer game complete power over your life is a BAD idea?
Affinity
Teal’c is framed for murder!
He also has an apartment, a girlfriend, and a tendency to beat up random people. Which is pretty fun…
Covenant
Maxwell Sheffield has become a multi-millionaire who wants to reveal the existence of aliens, by using fake aliens…
And Sam uses even-more-fake aliens to demonstrate that he’s lying about the real aliens, even though she knows about the real aliens, and knows that the fake aliens he’s using to prove the existence of real aliens are actually real aliens…
Sacrifices
Teal’c’s girlfriend is back! As are all the Amazons!
The central plot of this episode is all about Teal’c and his son, and the whole Noble Jaffa thing – and Teal’c’s family has this annoying habit of boring me to tears, so I spent most of the episode just enthusing over all the Amazon ladies. They’re fun!
Endgame
SG-1’s actions come back to haunt them, which is always fun.
This time, evil governmenty people steal the Stargate from right under Walter’s nose, and use it to wipe out half the Goa’uld in the space of a week.
I know they’re evil and all, but that’s actually a pretty effective plan…
Prometheus Unbound
…and this is the episode I’ve been waiting for since I started watching the show.
One reason: Claudia Black.
And the Stargate writers immediately dress her up in a Badass Space Warrior outfit, complete with helmet, to make it look like she’s a huge guy, before revealing that she’s actually an extremely hot woman – thus proving beyond a doubt that they are not above stealing directly from Farscape to make the fans go nuts.
This episode is fairly plotless – but that really doesn’t matter, because the entire thing is basically there to showcase Claudia Being Awesome.
*sigh* Oh Claudia…
Gemini
Replicator!Carter shows up, and goes all Terminator. (No, seriously – she’s got the hand-turning-to-a-sword thing, and everything.)
I’m quite impressed with her. She manages to bluff the SGC (okay, not hard), Evil Replicator guy (slightly harder), and some random extras walking around the set (go Sam!).
…and now the Replicator Melting Gun doesn’t work anymore. Replicators are scary again. *whimpers*
It's Good to Be King
You know, every time there’s a Maybourne-centred episode, I squee with delight, and then get all wistful, because clearly they can’t bring him back again after what’s happened.
And then they do.
Sadly, this actually is the last time he returns, but it really is a fantastic episode. Largely because Maybourne has been made king.
There’s also a time-travelling ship, and I so thought they were going to set it off accidentally, but apparently not. It gets saved for a later episode.
Instead, they save the day through the whole People Standing Together And Nobly Beating The Bad Guys – which would come across as kinda corny, except that it’s Maybourne. He can make any plotline work.
Full Alert
Senator Kinsey becomes a Goa’uld! And I rejoice, because he’s finally irredeemable and won’t be coming back.
He almost sparks an international war, which is fun.
Reckoning (1&2)
Huge Massive Replicator / Goa’uld Battle!
Baal is taking over the Goa’uld, Replicators are taking over the bits Baal’s taking over, and the Jaffa are trying to rebel against the whole lot.
Plus, they discover yet another super-powerful Ancient weapon – this one specially calibrated to destroy all the Replicators. And Daniel gets almost-killed by Replicator!Sam, just in time for him to get saved by Ascended people and not get killed by the Replicator ship melting…
Threads
Daniel sits in a Heavenly Diner, and is ignored by everyone in it who isn’t evil.
And Sam, meanwhile, finally starts to tell Jack that she loves him, but is interrupted, in typical tv-style, by Jack’s new girlfriend. Gah! (I comfort myself by imagining lots of Sam-and-Jack-getting-together scenarios after the episode finishes.)
Citizen Joe
Amazingly, not a clip show!
A barber starts seeing visions of SG-1, and ruins his life by becoming obsessed with them all.
It’s a fun episode – made even better by the revelation that Jack has spent the last seven years having visions of the barber’s life… but hasn’t said anything, because he is, after all, Jack.
Moebius (1&2)
Time travel!
Let’s see…
SG-1 goes back in time, accidentally change the course of history, and decide to stay in ancient Egypt so that they don’t change it even more.
Then they leave a message to their future selves, about what happened.
Future SG-1 (not an actual SG-1 team, but from a world where Jack fishes, Teal’c is evil, and Sam and Daniel are both dorks) find the message, and go back in time to fix the course of history… and stay back in ancient Egypt.
Then, regular old SG-1 from the fixed timeline find the message, conclude that the course of history was not changed, and rejoice.
Also, Sam and Jack make out. This would be worth it even if the episode was completely crap – and unfortunately is not proof-positive that they’re now a couple, because the Sam and Jack who are making out are dork!Sam and fishing!Jack…
Season 9
Avalon (1&2)
The writers, wanting to grab a whole lot of depressed Farscape fans, have recruited Ben Browder, and brought back Claudia Black! Woo!
Unfortunately, this means the tragic loss of Jack O’Neill, who is, in my head, now working somewhere else and dating Sam Carter in secret.
They also need a new set of villains, now that the Goa’uld have been defeated. So, having exhausted Greek, Roman, Norse, and Egyptian mythology, they move on to the only remaining option: King Arthur.
Apparently, Merlin was one of the Ancients.
So… there’s a sword in a stone, a big sword fight with a knight, a huge cave full of treasure, and some communication devices that send Daniel and Vala into another galaxy to get burned at the stake…
Um…
Apparently, Merlin was protecting everyone from a whole bunch of evil Ancients.
Who are very bad people.
Origin
Evil Ancient Guys are called the Ori, seem to be medieval crusaders, and have some really sucky theme music that sets my teeth on edge.
This episode is far too long, but on the positive side features a huge amount of Vala (Claudia Black) being incredibly fun.
The Ties That Bind
…and clearly the writers agree with me, because this episode contains an unseemly amount of Vala being awesome, and very little actual plot besides that.
(It should be noted that my speedy Stargate-viewing started slowing down around about here, mostly because I kept rewinding all of Vala’s scenes and watching them again. Yes, I’m obsessed.)
The Powers That Be
Vala tricks a whole bunch of people into thinking she’s still a Goa’uld. Hijinks ensue, on an epic scale.
Beachhead
The Ori (cue evil theme music) are back, to implode a planet and build a Super Stargate of Doom. Vala is wonderful, and sacrifices her life to stop them.
(But, this being Stargate, and Vala being a fun character, she’s not really dead.)
Ex Deus Machina
Baal is on Earth, and has become a celebrity. He tries to blow up Seattle, gets thwarted by SG-1, is killed horribly by Jaffa, and is perfectly fine, in fact, because it was just a clone!Baal, and the real one is still on Earth. (Remember what I said about fun characters on this show not dying?)
Babylon
Cam is captured by Jaffa, and has to fight for his life.
Fairly boring, although Ben Browder can make anything entertaining.
Prototype
Anubis has an evil son!
This is mostly a reminder that Woolsley is stupid… and that SG-1 are too, actually, because they have no idea just how dangerous telekinetic people are. They really need to watch some sci-fi.
The Fourth Horseman (1&2)
The Ori (*plays evil theme music*) infect Earth with the plague.
…and nothing else happens, really.
*sighs* I miss the Goa’uld.
Collateral Damage
SG-1 still haven’t learnt their lesson. Specifically, the bit about not hooking your brain up to incredibly smart computers!
This time, Cam gets his memory changed so that he thinks he’s a murderer. Oops…
Ripple Effect
This episode was fun.
It looked like just a standard parallel reality episode (what with the arrival of SG-1 from… um… a parallel reality), but then another SG-1 showed up, and they just kept coming, and soon there were twenty SG-1 teams in the base, and all the Carters were sitting around enthusiastically discussing physics…
And yes, this show can still make me cry. This time by blatant emotional manipulation, in the form of Janet, happily alive in an alternate dimension. *sniffles* I miss Janet…
Stronghold
More Jaffa brainwashing (this keeps on happening), and Cam having a touching last day with a dying friend.
…really boring, actually. I mostly sat there complaining loudly about the continuing lack of Vala.
Ethon
Yeah…
That nuclear war that SG-1 accidentally started?
Well, it wasn’t good enough, apparently, because some people on the planet are still alive. So they return, in a big ship, and accidentally start another nuclear war…
Off the Grid
Interplanetary drug smugglers are illegally selling people corn, Cam is a bounty hunter, the General is bribing Goa’uld prisoners with dessert, and Baal (or one of his many clones) is stealing everyone’s Stargates.
Confusing, but very fun.
The Scourge
Very, very glad I didn’t watch this episode just before going to bed…
Cannibalistic cockroaches take over a planet and start eating people. And I really have to stop thinking about this episode and move onto something else, because it’s late, I’m home alone, and I don’t want to have to go to sleep with the lights on.
Arthur's Mantle
Cam and Sam discover Merlin’s laptop computer (seriously) and turn invisible. And incorporeal.
Cam, naturally, doesn’t see this as a good enough reason not to run around on other planets saving the day…
Crusade
Vala! Vala is back! And pregnant! And has taken over Daniel’s body!
Extremely fun, not least because we get to see Michael Shanks playing Vala.
Camelot
So, Merlin is an Ancient. And Arthur was real. Clearly Camelot had to make an appearance sooner or later…
Yep, we’ve got the whole sword-in-the-stone thing (again).
Daniel seems to have developed an annoying habit of trying to convince villagers that all of Merlin’s cool devices aren’t really magic – which gets on my nerves, because they’re unique artifacts, usually crystals, that do things like turning people invisible, putting up forcefields, causing treasure to mystically appear out of nowhere, and hey! defeating entire galaxies of evil Ori.
But no, it’s not magical, not at all.
I don’t care how he did it – it’s magic. And frankly, Daniel is annoying lots of peaceful villagers with a pointless argument.
Anyway, it’s the end of the season, so the Ori invade! And Vala goes into labour.
Season 10
Flesh and Blood
Vala gives birth, to a daughter who grows up incredibly fast, and Daniel rescues her.
That’s about all, really. Although the Ori ships are kind of pretty and medieval.
Morpheus
Everyone falls asleep and starts dying.
…no, seriously, that’s the whole episode.
The Pegasus Project
Rodney McKay! Woo! *hugs Rodney tightly*
This episode lost me, mostly because it’s a crossover with SGA, about which I know nothing.
But they… went to Atlantis? And… flew around a black hole? Which… somehow… stopped the Super Stargate Of Doom from working.
…I guess that’s a good thing.
Insiders
Baal! And Baal! And yet another Baal!
All the clones get together and start offering the SGC superweapons and treasure, before the other clones can first.
Naturally,he they escape, mwahaha-ing at them all. After all, he’s far too much fun for the show to kill off.
Uninvited
Huge big mutant monsters ofdoom weirdness start rampaging through forests. So Cam and General Landry go on a hunting expedition, shotguns and all.
200
…and this is the episode I was waiting for.
This is, in fact, the whole reason I wanted to watch the show.
An episode that cannot possibly summarised, except through random squeeing as follows:
Short credits! Invisible Jack! Puppets! Farscape! Fourth walls getting broken! The Wizard of Oz! WOO!
Counterstrike
The part of Vala’s daughter will now be played by a prostitute from a space-western. With very freaky eyes.
Not a terribly memorable episode, but wonderful anyway. (After all, Vala’s right there being awesome.)
Memento Mori
Vala with amnesia! As a waitress!
Cam handcuffed to a bed!
A big car crash!
Oh, how fun!
Company of Thieves
The corn-smugglers strike again, and Cam goes undercover as a fellow corn-smuggler.
(Rather entertaining, but Crichton would have done it better.)
The Quest (1&2)
A quest to find the Holy Grail!
With dragons and all.
Daniel is still obstinately insisting that there’s no such thing as magic, which is irritating me like nothing else, Baal is helping them out, Vala’s daughter is there in disguise, and Merlin appears, dies, and gives Daniel his memories.
Line in the Sand
SG-1 heroically make a village disappear.
Except that it doesn’t actually work, exactly, and they only make one house vanish. All the rest of the villagers are captured by the Ori.
Meanwhile, Vala annoys her husband into questioning his belief system.
The Road Not Taken
Another alternate universe.
And (drumroll please) the first alternate universe ever where alternate!Sam is not married to Jack.
Instead, she married Rodney McKay.
Even though my little shippy heart wanted to sob “Sam/Jack 4eva!”, the rest of me was far too busy squeeing over the wonder that is Rodney…
The Shroud
Daniel is an evil Ori! (cue theme music)
But, being a main character and all, he’s not actually an evil Ori. He’s just pretending.
Together, they destroy all the real evil Ori… you know, except for all the millions of human crusaders busily taking over the galaxy for the Ori. And Vala’s super-powered daughter.
Bounty
Bounty hunters track down all the members of SG-1.
Which is fun, in most cases, and insanely fun in the case of Cam and Vala, who are at Cam’s high school reunion.
*happy sigh again* Oh Vala…
Bad Guys
Right. This episode is officially the most awesome ever.
Or at least in the top ten.
SG-1 land on a planet who don’t know about space travel, and get mistaken for terrorists.
And what do they do?
They decide it would be easier to take hostages and pretend to be terrorists, rather than trying to explain what actually happened.
This leads to the incredible sight of Daniel trying to threaten people by sounding badass. Far too hilariously entertaining for words…
Talion
*sigh*
The writers couldn’t resist doing one last deep-and-moving episode about Teal’c’s personal life… and boring me to tears in the process.
Oh well…
Family Ties
…and this episode isn’t much better.
Vala’s father shows up. And, like most tv parents, I liked him so much better when he was just someone we knew through Vala’s descriptions.
Still, the episode wasn’t that bad. Kinda fun, in places.
Dominion
Vala gets her memories altered! On purpose!
Baal takes over Vala’s daughter!
Seriously! Vala’s daughter is a Goa’uld system lord! And still all evil!
And then even more evil!
Yay!
This really was the perfect way for Baal to finish.
Unending
And finally…
They all grow old and die, while stuck in space together.
Until they manage to magically reverse time and go back to normal, that is.
Yet another plot they stole directly from Farscape – but this time, I must admit they actually did a better job. *feels like I’m betraying my roots*
And all ends happily.
(And I’m finished! ...except for the movies.)
(Yes, I did just watch three seasons in one hit. I am slightly obsessed.)
This last lot included:
Season 8
New Order (1&2)
Jack takes over Thor’s ship, and gets unfrozen (in that order). Sam deals with Evil Replicator Guy, who is madly in love with her, pretends to be on a farm, and then creates his own copy of her. And Elizabeth Weir is now a different actress (shame – I liked the original one) and bluffs a whole lot of Goa’ulds with the threat of a not-working Antarctica Death Ray.
And one Goa’uld guy asks for asylum… Which is interesting…
They now have a groovy Replicator-melting gun. I am very glad, because Replicators freak me out, and now I can stop cringing with fear every time they appear.
Lockdown
O’Neill is in charge! I think this means Stargate Atlantis has begun – although I’m not sure what happened there.
Anyway, Anubis is controlling everyone, so there’s an evil Russian guy, and then he becomes evil!Daniel, and then evil!Sam, and then evil!Jack, and then evil Russian guy again.
I think this episode would be a lot more interesting if they hadn’t done similar stuff about ten times before.
(Plus, they try to be all moving and sentimental – that never ends well.)
Zero Hour
Jack writes a letter of resignation – which takes the entire episode, and is extremely entertaining, especially as the situation on the base gets more and more ridiculous. (My favourite problem being the alien plant that gradually takes over the entire SGC.)
So he deals with an exploding ZPM, stops Baal from capturing people, runs around trying to figure out how to stop the alien plant, argues with Walter, fools a Goa’uld, locks diplomats in a room together and refuses to let them out, and continues writing that letter of resignation…
Jack is so fun…
Icon
SG-1 causes a nuclear holocaust! Started by a religious war! Woo!
Fun, but not terribly memorable. Although Daniel talking in code is funny.
Avatar
I have already ranted about this one.
Silly, silly, SG-1. When will they ever learn that giving a hostile computer game complete power over your life is a BAD idea?
Affinity
Teal’c is framed for murder!
He also has an apartment, a girlfriend, and a tendency to beat up random people. Which is pretty fun…
Covenant
Maxwell Sheffield has become a multi-millionaire who wants to reveal the existence of aliens, by using fake aliens…
And Sam uses even-more-fake aliens to demonstrate that he’s lying about the real aliens, even though she knows about the real aliens, and knows that the fake aliens he’s using to prove the existence of real aliens are actually real aliens…
Sacrifices
Teal’c’s girlfriend is back! As are all the Amazons!
The central plot of this episode is all about Teal’c and his son, and the whole Noble Jaffa thing – and Teal’c’s family has this annoying habit of boring me to tears, so I spent most of the episode just enthusing over all the Amazon ladies. They’re fun!
Endgame
SG-1’s actions come back to haunt them, which is always fun.
This time, evil governmenty people steal the Stargate from right under Walter’s nose, and use it to wipe out half the Goa’uld in the space of a week.
I know they’re evil and all, but that’s actually a pretty effective plan…
Prometheus Unbound
…and this is the episode I’ve been waiting for since I started watching the show.
One reason: Claudia Black.
And the Stargate writers immediately dress her up in a Badass Space Warrior outfit, complete with helmet, to make it look like she’s a huge guy, before revealing that she’s actually an extremely hot woman – thus proving beyond a doubt that they are not above stealing directly from Farscape to make the fans go nuts.
This episode is fairly plotless – but that really doesn’t matter, because the entire thing is basically there to showcase Claudia Being Awesome.
*sigh* Oh Claudia…
Gemini
Replicator!Carter shows up, and goes all Terminator. (No, seriously – she’s got the hand-turning-to-a-sword thing, and everything.)
I’m quite impressed with her. She manages to bluff the SGC (okay, not hard), Evil Replicator guy (slightly harder), and some random extras walking around the set (go Sam!).
…and now the Replicator Melting Gun doesn’t work anymore. Replicators are scary again. *whimpers*
It's Good to Be King
You know, every time there’s a Maybourne-centred episode, I squee with delight, and then get all wistful, because clearly they can’t bring him back again after what’s happened.
And then they do.
Sadly, this actually is the last time he returns, but it really is a fantastic episode. Largely because Maybourne has been made king.
There’s also a time-travelling ship, and I so thought they were going to set it off accidentally, but apparently not. It gets saved for a later episode.
Instead, they save the day through the whole People Standing Together And Nobly Beating The Bad Guys – which would come across as kinda corny, except that it’s Maybourne. He can make any plotline work.
Full Alert
Senator Kinsey becomes a Goa’uld! And I rejoice, because he’s finally irredeemable and won’t be coming back.
He almost sparks an international war, which is fun.
Reckoning (1&2)
Huge Massive Replicator / Goa’uld Battle!
Baal is taking over the Goa’uld, Replicators are taking over the bits Baal’s taking over, and the Jaffa are trying to rebel against the whole lot.
Plus, they discover yet another super-powerful Ancient weapon – this one specially calibrated to destroy all the Replicators. And Daniel gets almost-killed by Replicator!Sam, just in time for him to get saved by Ascended people and not get killed by the Replicator ship melting…
Threads
Daniel sits in a Heavenly Diner, and is ignored by everyone in it who isn’t evil.
And Sam, meanwhile, finally starts to tell Jack that she loves him, but is interrupted, in typical tv-style, by Jack’s new girlfriend. Gah! (I comfort myself by imagining lots of Sam-and-Jack-getting-together scenarios after the episode finishes.)
Citizen Joe
Amazingly, not a clip show!
A barber starts seeing visions of SG-1, and ruins his life by becoming obsessed with them all.
It’s a fun episode – made even better by the revelation that Jack has spent the last seven years having visions of the barber’s life… but hasn’t said anything, because he is, after all, Jack.
Moebius (1&2)
Time travel!
Let’s see…
SG-1 goes back in time, accidentally change the course of history, and decide to stay in ancient Egypt so that they don’t change it even more.
Then they leave a message to their future selves, about what happened.
Future SG-1 (not an actual SG-1 team, but from a world where Jack fishes, Teal’c is evil, and Sam and Daniel are both dorks) find the message, and go back in time to fix the course of history… and stay back in ancient Egypt.
Then, regular old SG-1 from the fixed timeline find the message, conclude that the course of history was not changed, and rejoice.
Also, Sam and Jack make out. This would be worth it even if the episode was completely crap – and unfortunately is not proof-positive that they’re now a couple, because the Sam and Jack who are making out are dork!Sam and fishing!Jack…
Season 9
Avalon (1&2)
The writers, wanting to grab a whole lot of depressed Farscape fans, have recruited Ben Browder, and brought back Claudia Black! Woo!
Unfortunately, this means the tragic loss of Jack O’Neill, who is, in my head, now working somewhere else and dating Sam Carter in secret.
They also need a new set of villains, now that the Goa’uld have been defeated. So, having exhausted Greek, Roman, Norse, and Egyptian mythology, they move on to the only remaining option: King Arthur.
Apparently, Merlin was one of the Ancients.
So… there’s a sword in a stone, a big sword fight with a knight, a huge cave full of treasure, and some communication devices that send Daniel and Vala into another galaxy to get burned at the stake…
Um…
Apparently, Merlin was protecting everyone from a whole bunch of evil Ancients.
Who are very bad people.
Origin
Evil Ancient Guys are called the Ori, seem to be medieval crusaders, and have some really sucky theme music that sets my teeth on edge.
This episode is far too long, but on the positive side features a huge amount of Vala (Claudia Black) being incredibly fun.
The Ties That Bind
…and clearly the writers agree with me, because this episode contains an unseemly amount of Vala being awesome, and very little actual plot besides that.
(It should be noted that my speedy Stargate-viewing started slowing down around about here, mostly because I kept rewinding all of Vala’s scenes and watching them again. Yes, I’m obsessed.)
The Powers That Be
Vala tricks a whole bunch of people into thinking she’s still a Goa’uld. Hijinks ensue, on an epic scale.
Beachhead
The Ori (cue evil theme music) are back, to implode a planet and build a Super Stargate of Doom. Vala is wonderful, and sacrifices her life to stop them.
(But, this being Stargate, and Vala being a fun character, she’s not really dead.)
Ex Deus Machina
Baal is on Earth, and has become a celebrity. He tries to blow up Seattle, gets thwarted by SG-1, is killed horribly by Jaffa, and is perfectly fine, in fact, because it was just a clone!Baal, and the real one is still on Earth. (Remember what I said about fun characters on this show not dying?)
Babylon
Cam is captured by Jaffa, and has to fight for his life.
Fairly boring, although Ben Browder can make anything entertaining.
Prototype
Anubis has an evil son!
This is mostly a reminder that Woolsley is stupid… and that SG-1 are too, actually, because they have no idea just how dangerous telekinetic people are. They really need to watch some sci-fi.
The Fourth Horseman (1&2)
The Ori (*plays evil theme music*) infect Earth with the plague.
…and nothing else happens, really.
*sighs* I miss the Goa’uld.
Collateral Damage
SG-1 still haven’t learnt their lesson. Specifically, the bit about not hooking your brain up to incredibly smart computers!
This time, Cam gets his memory changed so that he thinks he’s a murderer. Oops…
Ripple Effect
This episode was fun.
It looked like just a standard parallel reality episode (what with the arrival of SG-1 from… um… a parallel reality), but then another SG-1 showed up, and they just kept coming, and soon there were twenty SG-1 teams in the base, and all the Carters were sitting around enthusiastically discussing physics…
And yes, this show can still make me cry. This time by blatant emotional manipulation, in the form of Janet, happily alive in an alternate dimension. *sniffles* I miss Janet…
Stronghold
More Jaffa brainwashing (this keeps on happening), and Cam having a touching last day with a dying friend.
…really boring, actually. I mostly sat there complaining loudly about the continuing lack of Vala.
Ethon
Yeah…
That nuclear war that SG-1 accidentally started?
Well, it wasn’t good enough, apparently, because some people on the planet are still alive. So they return, in a big ship, and accidentally start another nuclear war…
Off the Grid
Interplanetary drug smugglers are illegally selling people corn, Cam is a bounty hunter, the General is bribing Goa’uld prisoners with dessert, and Baal (or one of his many clones) is stealing everyone’s Stargates.
Confusing, but very fun.
The Scourge
Very, very glad I didn’t watch this episode just before going to bed…
Cannibalistic cockroaches take over a planet and start eating people. And I really have to stop thinking about this episode and move onto something else, because it’s late, I’m home alone, and I don’t want to have to go to sleep with the lights on.
Arthur's Mantle
Cam and Sam discover Merlin’s laptop computer (seriously) and turn invisible. And incorporeal.
Cam, naturally, doesn’t see this as a good enough reason not to run around on other planets saving the day…
Crusade
Vala! Vala is back! And pregnant! And has taken over Daniel’s body!
Extremely fun, not least because we get to see Michael Shanks playing Vala.
Camelot
So, Merlin is an Ancient. And Arthur was real. Clearly Camelot had to make an appearance sooner or later…
Yep, we’ve got the whole sword-in-the-stone thing (again).
Daniel seems to have developed an annoying habit of trying to convince villagers that all of Merlin’s cool devices aren’t really magic – which gets on my nerves, because they’re unique artifacts, usually crystals, that do things like turning people invisible, putting up forcefields, causing treasure to mystically appear out of nowhere, and hey! defeating entire galaxies of evil Ori.
But no, it’s not magical, not at all.
I don’t care how he did it – it’s magic. And frankly, Daniel is annoying lots of peaceful villagers with a pointless argument.
Anyway, it’s the end of the season, so the Ori invade! And Vala goes into labour.
Season 10
Flesh and Blood
Vala gives birth, to a daughter who grows up incredibly fast, and Daniel rescues her.
That’s about all, really. Although the Ori ships are kind of pretty and medieval.
Morpheus
Everyone falls asleep and starts dying.
…no, seriously, that’s the whole episode.
The Pegasus Project
Rodney McKay! Woo! *hugs Rodney tightly*
This episode lost me, mostly because it’s a crossover with SGA, about which I know nothing.
But they… went to Atlantis? And… flew around a black hole? Which… somehow… stopped the Super Stargate Of Doom from working.
…I guess that’s a good thing.
Insiders
Baal! And Baal! And yet another Baal!
All the clones get together and start offering the SGC superweapons and treasure, before the other clones can first.
Naturally,
Uninvited
Huge big mutant monsters of
200
…and this is the episode I was waiting for.
This is, in fact, the whole reason I wanted to watch the show.
An episode that cannot possibly summarised, except through random squeeing as follows:
Short credits! Invisible Jack! Puppets! Farscape! Fourth walls getting broken! The Wizard of Oz! WOO!
Counterstrike
The part of Vala’s daughter will now be played by a prostitute from a space-western. With very freaky eyes.
Not a terribly memorable episode, but wonderful anyway. (After all, Vala’s right there being awesome.)
Memento Mori
Vala with amnesia! As a waitress!
Cam handcuffed to a bed!
A big car crash!
Oh, how fun!
Company of Thieves
The corn-smugglers strike again, and Cam goes undercover as a fellow corn-smuggler.
(Rather entertaining, but Crichton would have done it better.)
The Quest (1&2)
A quest to find the Holy Grail!
With dragons and all.
Daniel is still obstinately insisting that there’s no such thing as magic, which is irritating me like nothing else, Baal is helping them out, Vala’s daughter is there in disguise, and Merlin appears, dies, and gives Daniel his memories.
Line in the Sand
SG-1 heroically make a village disappear.
Except that it doesn’t actually work, exactly, and they only make one house vanish. All the rest of the villagers are captured by the Ori.
Meanwhile, Vala annoys her husband into questioning his belief system.
The Road Not Taken
Another alternate universe.
And (drumroll please) the first alternate universe ever where alternate!Sam is not married to Jack.
Instead, she married Rodney McKay.
Even though my little shippy heart wanted to sob “Sam/Jack 4eva!”, the rest of me was far too busy squeeing over the wonder that is Rodney…
The Shroud
Daniel is an evil Ori! (cue theme music)
But, being a main character and all, he’s not actually an evil Ori. He’s just pretending.
Together, they destroy all the real evil Ori… you know, except for all the millions of human crusaders busily taking over the galaxy for the Ori. And Vala’s super-powered daughter.
Bounty
Bounty hunters track down all the members of SG-1.
Which is fun, in most cases, and insanely fun in the case of Cam and Vala, who are at Cam’s high school reunion.
*happy sigh again* Oh Vala…
Bad Guys
Right. This episode is officially the most awesome ever.
Or at least in the top ten.
SG-1 land on a planet who don’t know about space travel, and get mistaken for terrorists.
And what do they do?
They decide it would be easier to take hostages and pretend to be terrorists, rather than trying to explain what actually happened.
This leads to the incredible sight of Daniel trying to threaten people by sounding badass. Far too hilariously entertaining for words…
Talion
*sigh*
The writers couldn’t resist doing one last deep-and-moving episode about Teal’c’s personal life… and boring me to tears in the process.
Oh well…
Family Ties
…and this episode isn’t much better.
Vala’s father shows up. And, like most tv parents, I liked him so much better when he was just someone we knew through Vala’s descriptions.
Still, the episode wasn’t that bad. Kinda fun, in places.
Dominion
Vala gets her memories altered! On purpose!
Baal takes over Vala’s daughter!
Seriously! Vala’s daughter is a Goa’uld system lord! And still all evil!
And then even more evil!
Yay!
This really was the perfect way for Baal to finish.
Unending
And finally…
They all grow old and die, while stuck in space together.
Until they manage to magically reverse time and go back to normal, that is.
Yet another plot they stole directly from Farscape – but this time, I must admit they actually did a better job. *feels like I’m betraying my roots*
And all ends happily.
(And I’m finished! ...except for the movies.)
