You know, I actually read this quite a while ago. Just about as soon as I got working net back, since you had mentioned it in your email, and was excited to go read it..
And yet, apparently, I didn’t comment. And I honestly can’t remember why, though I suspect it had something to do with not having enough time to comment properly.. That, or I was just being lazy. Also likely.
Aaaanyways.
Electrons start flowing, one after another – because there’s this space between them, and space is bad.
The best lines in this fic were, like this one, so simple. Your description of the whole situation was built on a simple metaphor..but it really works, and I think it’s simplicity is perfect. Perfect, because in situations like this, simple feels real. Because you’re right, people don’t think complex thoughts when they’re tumbling into bed with someone. It’s all simple, short, poignant things. Like, ‘space is bad.’
And only one touch is needed, one connection, and suddenly they’re conducting better than metal, and they both turn live.
Putting the whole thing in terms Gwen would understand makes it feel very in character, and strangely..pretty.
The current spills through them, exciting every particle, and pushing up the heat – although heat comes from resistance, and she’s got almost no resistance left.
And there’s the sexy. Puuuurr.
..apparently their wiring is faulty, because something snaps and something EXPLODES and there’s current current current and the sparks are flying everywhere…
And that’s just really good use of that metaphor – because I know exactly what you mean, but you make it sound..so…lovely. Like fireworks.
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Date: 2008-10-28 05:06 am (UTC)And yet, apparently, I didn’t comment. And I honestly can’t remember why, though I suspect it had something to do with not having enough time to comment properly.. That, or I was just being lazy. Also likely.
Aaaanyways.
Electrons start flowing, one after another – because there’s this space between them, and space is bad.
The best lines in this fic were, like this one, so simple. Your description of the whole situation was built on a simple metaphor..but it really works, and I think it’s simplicity is perfect. Perfect, because in situations like this, simple feels real. Because you’re right, people don’t think complex thoughts when they’re tumbling into bed with someone. It’s all simple, short, poignant things. Like, ‘space is bad.’
And only one touch is needed, one connection, and suddenly they’re conducting better than metal, and they both turn live.
Putting the whole thing in terms Gwen would understand makes it feel very in character, and strangely..pretty.
The current spills through them, exciting every particle, and pushing up the heat – although heat comes from resistance, and she’s got almost no resistance left.
And there’s the sexy. Puuuurr.
..apparently their wiring is faulty, because something snaps and something EXPLODES and there’s current current current and the sparks are flying everywhere…
And that’s just really good use of that metaphor – because I know exactly what you mean, but you make it sound..so…lovely. Like fireworks.
Gorgeous piece, darling. I’m very impressed.
Mooooore?