Spilt Whiskey

[deird_lj]

A "bunny" prompt at joss_las, and not one of the writers chooses to write about Anya. In fact, none of us even went for the Buffyverse!

Here's a Dollhouse ficlet starring Claire Saunders, which has spoilers up until episode 12…


Spilt Whiskey

“Think of them as your pets,” they said.

Claire sits in front of the mirror, and looks at her scars as if she’s never seen them before.

Pets.

Is that what she is to them? Just the pet rabbit, who accidentally got within reach of the dog?

Something to be taken to the vet, and patted, and nursed back to health…
…and put back in the rabbit cage.

She has one scar – right across her lip – that’s slightly more to the right than she usually pictures it. Claire touches it tentatively, feeling the point where it splits her lip in two.

Poor little bunny, not pretty any more.

They must have been so disappointed that their pedigree animal was spoiled – that she looked like a mangy stray.

They must have been horrified.
And upset.
And then they’d sigh and move on, because that’s what you do with pets.

And yes, she’s upset, and traumatised, and curled in the back of her hiding place licking her wounds, but that’s okay. Because she doesn’t really exist anyway.

She doesn’t even really remember how she got these scars. (Not up with Topher restraining a patient, that’s for sure.)

Claire traces a finger along the gash on her forehead, remembering the blade slicing through.

Funny how a fake memory can feel so much like the real thing.

If it really does. Maybe she only accepted these memories as real because she doesn’t know what real ones are supposed to feel like.

Cute little pet, thinks it can talk.

She’s always treated the Actives as if they’re children – too young to know better, too innocent to understand.

Is that how everyone thinks of her?

Be nice to Doctor Saunders, she’s trying her best.

And they all pat the bunny absentmindedly, and go back to the conversation.

All the medicine, the books, the stethoscope, the labcoat, the folders filled with records…
Nice toys to keep her happy in her rabbit hutch.

It’s all so ridiculous.

Claire shuts her eyes, and tries to remember what she looked like without scars.

Comments

[mymatedave.livejournal.com]

Wow. That really is very good. I've noticed that the best Dollhouse fic is often messed up in various ways, yours included.

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Oooh, see, I liked this one. Voting was very very hard.

Although - doesn't Claire think that she got the scars when Alpha went crazy? That's what Adelle and Topher said, and I think she did at some point...

[deird1]

Glad you liked it!

[deird1]

Thanks!


Although - doesn't Claire think that she got the scars when Alpha went crazy?

Yeah, but the original Dr Saunders got attacked by Alpha in Topher's lab - so I figured Claire getting them (from Alpha) in the same place would make sense...

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Ahhh okay that makes sense.

Hmmmm...that makes me wonder what her memories are - like did they make her think she was always a doctor there, or hired just before the Alpha attack? Interesting stuff...


And I've been slowly rewatching Dollhouse via Netflix, and granted it's not nearly as awesome as Epitaph One, but The Man on the Street definitely was a game-changing episode. Although it's weird - with the end of the season and Epitaph One I FELT like everything was fairly wrapped up, but now I'm all, "Wait, we never found out what happened with that!!"

Also the commentaries are not nearly as good as, say, the Wild at Heart one. But then, what is?

[deird1]

*has never heard the Wild At Heart commentary*

*probably never will*

*weeps bitterly*

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

*pets you*

But after I come over to Australia to drink proper tea, you can catch my flight back and watch it with me! Clearly this makes reasonable sense. :D

Also I'm trying to mentally picture whether it would be shorter to fly west through like Asia and Europe and Africa to America or east through...um...America. Never mind, answered my own question. Although it probably depends on where you start. Aaagh now I have to go Google map this.

[deird1]

Yay!


Definitely across America. Especially because I live on the east coast of Australia...

[dariclone.livejournal.com]

That was hunting. Your Claire was so beuatiful and damaged. I love it.

[deird1]

Thanks!

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

*nods* Hokay. My sense of geography is not so much. Especially when it comes to all those states in the middle of the US. *makes a face*

[emma-bishop.livejournal.com]

Oh that's lovely! The pain in conjunction with being self aware is both awwww and mmm inducing.

[deird1]

I'm glad you liked it!