I am not a conspiracy theorist.

[deird_lj]

There are people at the entrance to Parliament station who harass me every afternoon (and everyone else, too - they're not picking on me) to give money to the Red Cross. Which yes, fine, noble cause and all that, and good on them.
But...
They all have Irish accents. All of them.

This leaves me with a few interesting possibilities:

a) They're all related. This family of Red Cross supporters moved over from Ireland and all spontaneously decided that they should ask for donations at Parliament station.

b) Red Cross recruits all of their employees from the Irish pub around the corner.

c) Red Cross has been using all the charity donations to run a secret exchange program. All the people asking for donations in Paris have Aussie accents, all the New York Red Cross workers are French, and Ireland is full of New Yorkers harassing people at railway stations. It's the perfect con, really, because they've convinced everyone that they're trying to help the sick, when really they're figuring out where they'll be holidaying next year.

d) Red Cross has trained all their people to put on fake accents whenever they're campaigning. They've figured out what most Aussies have known for decades: that people with Irish accents are simply irresistable. (Seriously. I once stayed on the phone listening to a telemarketer's entire pitch just so I could hear him talk some more. Thankfully, he wasn't very committed to making a sale - if he'd asked in the right tone of voice, I probably would have said "Uh-huh. Sure. Just keep talking..." and happily signed up to a timeshare in Siberia.) And so they've trained them all to use their fake accents to trick people into giving them money. Devious...


I'm not sure which one of these I believe the most. But, just in case it's option c, I think I'll sign up as a volunteer next year. I could really use a trip to Italy.