Commentary - Future Echoes

[deird_lj]

So, I asked for fic commentary and drabble requests. (Still happy to do more if anyone wants to make a suggestion.)

This one was written for louise39, who requested a commentary for Future Echoes. You should probably read that before looking at this commentary.

The original fic still looks like it did, and my notes are the bits in blockquotes.



Future Echoes

The title comes from an episode of Red Dwarf, in which various characters were appearing to be walking around the ship doing things several hours/minutes/years before they actually did them.
That’s sort of where this idea came from (although I have, kind of, used it before) – what if alternate realities could affect the world before they actually started existing?

The crossing guard lady was crazy – everyone knew that.
Buffy walked past her every morning on the way to school, and every morning she was just as weird.

To Buffy, this is not the story of her little sister’s existence echoing back into the past – this is the story of a weird lady who freaked her out.
It being a story written from her POV, I had to write Janet as Buffy would have seen her. So, pretty much nuts.

She’d introduced herself, back before Buffy knew she was crazy.
“Hi.” A smile. “I’m Janet. You’re new here, aren’t you? What’s your name?”
“I’m Buffy. I’ve just started middle school round at Mitchell.”

If Buffy’s just started middle school, Dawn should be just starting school (I think).

“Nice to meet you, Buffy! And is this young lady your little sister?”
“Um… what?”
And Janet just stood there looking at the empty space on Buffy’s left side, as if it wasn’t empty.

So yeah – crazy.

I’m not sure exactly what form of “crazy” Janet is. If I had to give my opinion, I’d say that she has the ability to see the world as it might be… and often has trouble distinguishing.

It wasn’t like that all the time. Some days she’d just smile, normally, and wave her across. But every time Buffy began to relax, and forget about it, it’d all start up again.
Janet would wave at empty air a metre up from ground level.

(This being way back when Dawn was teeny.)

Or she’d frown, and ask, “Is your sister sick, Buffy? I haven’t seen her lately.”
Or sometimes she’d start conducting a whole conversation with no-one at all: “Hi, hon. How’s school going? Is big sis helping you learn what’s what?”

Weirdest of all, was the times when Buffy almost thought she’d heard someone answer.

This was written for the prompt of “ghosts”. So I was pretty much trying for creepy.

And it gave her the wiggins. Complete wiggins.

I have used “wiggins” in a fanfic! Woo!

Every time she crossed that road, she’d feel as if there was someone next to her – a little invisible person skipping along asking a stream of endless questions.
A couple of times, Buffy almost believed she’d seen a little girl, with brown hair and skinned knees – but there was NO-ONE.

“Brown hair and skinned knees” was the best way I could think of to describe Dawn at five years old. Especially if you combine that with “asking a stream of endless questions”.
By the way, you might notice that I never once mention Dawn’s name in this fic. I love trying to do that in Dawn-insert fics…

She knew there was no-one. No little girl, no-one beside her, nothing, nothing at all. Just some weird crazy crossing guard who talked to thin air.

Note that Buffy is mostly trying to convince herself. Actually, as far as “everyone” knowing that the crossing guard is crazy, I’m not entirely sure that they do – or whether Buffy is just telling herself that.

Buffy started taking the long route to school, and forgot about the whole thing.

Comments

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember that drabble. I love it. In Jossverse crazy people see the ultimate truth and you used that premise very creatively.

[deird1]

Thank you!

[louise39.livejournal.com]

To Buffy, this is not the story of her little sister’s existence echoing back into the past – this is the story of a weird lady who freaked her out.

Thanks for your thoughtful commentary. This Buffy drabble was eerie. I loved that only 'crazy' Janet saw Dawn and sometimes Buffy thought she did ...until she forgot the whole thing.

[deird1]

I'm glad you found it interesting.

[dreamincolor.livejournal.com]

The title comes from an episode of Red Dwarf

Really must watch that show..

I loved this drabble, it was so creative and out-of-the-box, like your Dawn inserts always are.

[deird1]

Thanks!

Really must watch that show..

You really should...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sabik_/]

Janet would wave at empty air a metre up from ground level.

Come to think of it, is Buffy metric? In the US they tend to be a bit behind the times on that kind of thing...


η

[deird1]

Hmm, good point.

I think they might learn metric in school...

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this one! Thanks for the commentary, it was interesting.

Also: the whole things-that-haven't-happened-yet-affect-the-present idea? Totally like the Dr. Who episode "Blink" (No, I don't watch Dr. Who in general, my friends just badgered me into watching it online. For some reason the place where I saw it had Japanese subtitles. O.O)

[deird1]

Ooh. I'd never really connected it to Blink, but you've got a point. (And yay! I've been compared to Doctor Who!)

Glad you liked it!