Commentary - Dial N For Nancy-Boy

[deird_lj]

So, I’ve been writing fic commentaries lately. And, on a whim, I decided to do another one.

This was written for my first fanfic, Dial N For Nancy-Boy. You should probably read that before looking at this commentary.

The original fic still looks like it did, and my notes are the bits in blockquotes.



Part One: Obligation

This fic was written after I read a fantastic essay by romanyg, analysing Angel and Spike’s relationship. She suggested that a few things in BtVS implied off-screen communication between them. And then she said this:
It implies a relationship beyond simple resentment and enmity. It implies that maybe, just maybe, Angel wouldn't hang up immediately if Spike called his office in L.A. It implies obligation, an obligation to listen, an obligation to be heard.
I couldn’t get that out of my head.
That quote is the reason why this first section is titled “Obligation”.

Dial N For Nancy-Boy

(Playing on the movie title Dial M For Murder.)

Cordelia had left the office early, muttering about ex-wives who arrived without anyone warning her. Doyle was out. And almost certainly drunk.

This is mid-way through Bachelor Party - thus the “ex-wives” comment. I tried to give clues about when each scene was set.

Which left Angel in charge of answering the phone.
“Hello? Angel Investigations?”
Silence.
“Um… hello? We help the hopeless, so, if you need anything – any help – I can… um… help. Help you.”
Dead silence.
Angel waited, uncertain of what to say next.
And then, suddenly, a snort, a muffled “bugger this,” and Sp- whoever it was hung up on him.
Angel stayed in the office all evening, just in case, but the phone didn’t ring a second time.

Spike has just discovered that he can’t hit anyone.
My original problem with romanyg’s essay was that, while I could see Angel listening if Spike called him, I couldn’t imagine Spike calling. Except for a few different situations. Situation one? If Spike was helpless, and so completely desperate that he’d be willing to go to someone he hated… much as he’s about to do with the Scooby Gang.

Excited Ex-Girlfriend

Situation two: Buffy rings, excited about her upcoming wedding.

When one’s Slayer is enchanted, one can be excused for taking the opportunity to have some fun with one’s old enemies.

I thought this worked with Giles’ sense of humour. The idea is basically that Giles, completely sick of listening to Buffy and Spike making out, suggests that Buffy ring Angel to let him know.
Of course, Giles is nice, so he’d never do that with, for example, Riley. Angel, on the other hand, will understand that it’s a love spell, so no harm done.

Which explains the phonecall a certain vampire detective received, one Tuesday evening in November.
“I’m sorry… Did you say you’re engaged?”
“Well… congratulations. Um. What’s his name?”
“WHAT?!”
Angel asked for details, didn’t get many, and certainly didn’t believe the ones he got.
“Drunk-blind? Or blind-blind?”

(Giles.)

“No. I most definitely will not be your best man.”
“Is there anyone else there I can talk to?”
In Sunnydale, a visually impaired Watcher smiled wryly, and poured himself some more scotch.


The Suicidal and the Silent

Situation three: Spike is so depressed he’s on the verge of killing himself.

Doyle was dead. Angel wasn’t in the mood for jocularity.

This is just after Parting Gifts, and just before Doomed. I was going in a sequence of BtVS-AtS-BtVS-AtS, episode by episode.

Thankfully, neither was Spike.
“-doing laundry for Captain Comic-book, drinking luke-warm blood through a straw-”

Spike has a tendency to call people “Captain-something”.

“Look, Spike, I know you feel helpless. But it always turns out okay eventually. You just… have to… just…”
Just what? Just helplessly stand there and watch as someone else sacrifices everything for the greater good? Just sit around wringing your hands while an incompetent academic rescues the damsel in distress?

Um… that was a reference to Doyle dying, followed by a reference to Wesley saving Cordelia.

“There’s just nothing left. And I can’t – There’s just… Nothing.”
Should he have stopped him? Possibly. But Angel just didn’t know what to say.


People With Purpose

Why not hang up on him?

The obvious question. From now on, these phonecalls are just accepted as a matter of course. I thought I’d better have him think about it at some point.

Angel kept answering the phone, and for the life of him (or “unlife” maybe? Was that grammatical?) couldn’t figure out why.
Penn had crumbled to dust while Angel held him – the second family member he’d had to kill.

This being right after Somnambulist. (The first family member was Darla.)

And now Spike was calling, babbling excitedly about killing demons, fighting evil, and… Christmas, for some reason.

Remember the end of Doomed, with Spike trying to convince them all to go patrolling by appealing to “puppies” and “Christmas”? Well, he’s still going.

Hang up on him, Angel’s mind urged. He’s evil, he’s soulless, you never liked him anyway, and he’s wasting your time. Wouldn’t you rather be brooding? Hang up on him!
But Angel didn’t.
Evil or not – family was important.


Part Two: What We Do

Soap Operas and Superstars

The title is because this is set after Eternity (with the soap star), and during Superstar.
This was the only time I messed with my timeline. Technically, by Eternity, Superstar should be over (they aired on the same night, with Eternity being second). But I just couldn’t resist this scenario.

“She wasn’t coming on to you.”

Now that they’re used to these phonecalls happening, I don’t try to justify them so much. But Spike still generally calls for a reason.
In this case, Buffy (or rather Faith) has just hit on him. This needs discussion.

“I’m telling you, she was!”
“There’s no way.”
“You weren’t there.”
“Buffy thinks you’re repulsive.”
“Hey! I’m no Jonathan, but I’m quite attractive.”

(Because they’re halfway through Superstar.)

“Spike, my bank account currently has – let me think – twenty-one dollars and eighty cents in it. If Buffy ever so much as kisses you, I’ll give you every penny.”

Yes, this will be followed up on later…

“Hand it over then. She already has.”
“That was a love spell! It doesn’t count.”
“Does too.”
“Doesn’t.”
“Ponce.”
“Idiot.”
“Hey, why’s the phone so muffled, anyway? Bad connection?”
“The connection’s fine. It’s on speaker phone.”
“Why?”
“I’m tied to the bed.”


Another Kind of Agency

Of course, Angel wasn’t always around to answer the phone.
“Angel Investigations. Wesley Wyndham-Pryce speaking.”

I have since been informed that I spelled Wesley’s last name wrong. Oh well…

Walking up the stairs, Angel listened to the Watcher’s attempt at a sympathetic phone manner.
“Absolutely. We at Angel Investigations offer complete confidentiality to our clients.”
“An hourly rate? Actually, our fee varies, depending on the nature of the- what? Yes, we have a wide variety of weaponry.”
“My underwear? Why on earth do you want...”
“Well, really!” Wesley slammed the phone down, shaking his head in disgust. “Some people are simply appalling.”
Angel waited until Wesley had gone downstairs, and then called Spike back.

I really don’t think Spike would be happy about anyone else knowing he was calling. And that’s… pretty much the only point to this one, apart from Spike prank-calling Wes.

Primitive Prophecies

Another meaningful title. This is after Primeval, and halfway through To Shanshu In L.A..

It wasn’t really that big a deal. After all, everyone had to die eventually. Even vampires.

(Wes has the prophecy wrong at this point in time.)

If the office was full of puppies, donuts, and life-affirming posters tomorrow morning, Angel would seriously consider sending Cordelia for therapy. Or just taking away her coffee.

Cordelia is currently off buying Angel art supplies.

And Wesley, meanwhile, was frantically cross-checking every book he could get his hands on.
They really needed to get some perspective.
“Hey! Angel! I asked you a question.”
“Oh. Yeah. I, um, agree. Yes.”
“Were you even listening?”
“Of course. You were talking about Frankenstein. And an army. You’ve… been watching old movies.”
A sigh.
“Close enough.”

Angel feels obligated to listen to Spike, sure, but he doesn’t actually pay attention to what he’s saying.

(“Frankenstein and an army”, by the way, is a reference to Adam and the Initiative. Spike gives nicknames to everything.)

Months of Monotony

What exactly do they do all summer?

“Vamp dust?”
“No, just dust. I mean it’s a crypt, right. Don’t really vacuum.”
“Mmm.”
“So… how’s the weather?”
“Summer-y. The usual, really.”
“Yeah. Same here.”
“Fought any good demons lately?”
“A couple. Nothing special.”
“Mmm. Well, it is July.”
“Things not all that apocalypsey at this time of year.”
“It’s the heat, I guess.”
“Could be the long days. Have to stay indoors a lot later, and that.”
“I suppose.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
“God I’m bored.”
“How’s Buffy?”
“Slayer’s fine, I guess. Haven’t seen much of her lately, what with the-”
“Lack of demons?”
“Exactly.”
“So… Seen any good movies?”


Part Three: Going Beige

We’re heading into the beige!Angel arc – it’s now the start of season 2.

Stalking The Sire

It was uncanny.
Cordelia’s number was in the phone book, so that wasn't hard.
Calling the office? A little more complicated, but certainly explainable. Even back when they were unlisted. Assuming, that is, that Spike had somehow gotten hold of the number he’d left with Buffy, and she’d decided not to tell him. Or something.
But on the day - the very day - that he moved in, not two hours after the Thesulac was killed, Spike’s call (“Guess what happened to Dracula!”) came to the Hyperion.

(After Buffy vs Dracula (a couple of episodes after, actually) and straight after Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been.)

Without being redirected.
One day Angel would figure out exactly how he was doing it.

This was actually a joke I had with myself.
When I was starting to think about this fic, I couldn’t see Spike calling (thus my initial scenarios), or see him going to all the trouble of looking up Angel’s number. Spike’s a very immediate person, and I sort of ended up with this image of him striding over to a phone booth, picking up the phone, dialling, and somehow managing to get the right number even though he’d never looked it up…

Distracting Dreams

Spike and Angel really do seem to lead parallel lives, sometimes. The “dream” episodes (Out Of My Mind and Untouched) are right next to each other.

“I had this dream.”
Mmm. Dreams. Dreams were wonderful.
“I always enjoy them.” Darla leaned forward, smiling, and slowly traced one finger down Angel’s face.
“-and she smashes open the door to my crypt, and barges in-”
Darla’s hands were under Angel’s shirt, moving with professional skill.
“-hate her! And she's not exactly ugly, but-”
“Really, darling.” Darla took the phone from his hand. “Must we listen to this twaddle? I’ve got a much better idea.”
This. This was how things should be.
It wasn't until he woke up that afternoon that Angel realised which petite blonde Spike had meant.

Angel’s dreams are, by now, happening even when Darla isn’t actually there making them happen (in the lobby, for instance, when he closed his eyes and there she was). That was sort of what I was going for here.

Hospitals and the Hopeless

(“Hospitals” because that’s where Buffy’s mum is. This is set straight after Fool For Love and Darla.)

“Should have killed her, right there. One shot. But the girl was in tears.”
“Well, the way I see it, killing people is serious. It requires careful thought. You shouldn't just casually turn someone… no matter how much they beg you to…”

Spike almost shot Buffy, and Angel didn’t vamp Darla. Both of them are bothered by this.

“Angel?”
“Mmm?”
“Why the hell do you think Buffy would ask me to vamp her?”
So I’m distracted. Sue me.
It’d been bad enough snatching up the phone, with a frantic “Darla?”, and hearing Spike’s voice instead. But now, trying to concentrate on this irrelevant conversation while she was lost, somewhere in L.A…

As we head further into Angel’s beigeness, he becomes less and less concerned about what Spike is saying. He’s now barely listening at all.

“Sorry, Spike. I’m listening, really.”


Curt with the Crushed

(This is straight after Crush - hence the title. Angel is currently by himself, having fired his people.)

Wolfram and Hart. Lawyers extraordinaire. The most evil slime ever to see sunlight. They had to be eradicated. And Angel would see to it. It was his mission. His destiny. He would wipe them from the face of the earth, and…
The phone was ringing.
“She shut me out.”
“Spike?”
“The bitch went and bloody uninvited me. Didn’t even ask.”
“Spike-”
“And why didn’t you tell me Darla was back? You’d think a little communication wouldn’t be too-”

Drusilla has just filled him in on what’s happening in Los Angeles. Angel, meanwhile, hasn’t told Spike a thing.

“Spike! I don't care. If you want communication, join a sewing circle.”
Angel slammed the phone down, and got back to work.


Part Four: Two Funerals

…both for Summers women.

Epiphanies and Eulogies

How does Angel know about Joyce’s funeral? Forever is set straight after Epiphany - and I don’t think Angel was really keeping track of Buffy during the whole Wolfram-And-Hart-must-DIE thing.

“Angel? That you?”
Spike’s voice was quieter, more tentative, than usual. No doubt due to the horrendous way Angel had treated him the last time he’d called.
“Angel?”
“It’s me, Spike. How are you?”
An apology was in order. No matter how evil Spike was, he still deserved… It was only a little thing, but little things mattered.
As Angel worked out how, exactly, to phrase the thing, Spike spoke again - his voice even quieter than before.
“Don’t know if anyone’s told you. But I thought you should know. It’s Joyce.”
And suddenly apologies really were too little to matter.


Regular Rivals

“Three-headed monster.”
“A psychotically evil hand.”
“A baby-eating troll.”
“Um… Vampires running a pyramid scheme.”
“What, seriously?”
There was nothing like a call from Spike to bring out Angel’s competitive streak.
So far, he seemed to be winning.
“A shroud that made people crazy.”
“Space monster who ate crazy people.”
“Yeah… that is better. Damn.”
Angel racked his brains.
“A mad scientist with a time-stopping doomsday device.”
“Ha! A mad scientist with a robotic girlfriend.”
“Come on. The doomsday device is much cooler.”

*deep breath*
Let’s see…
The Ghora from Forever, Lindsey’s hand from Dead End, Olaf from Triangle, the vamps from Disharmony, the Shroud of Rahmon, the Queller from Listening To Fear, the physicist from Happy Anniversary, and Warren.
The two of them had a lot of catching up to do.

“Okay, you win that one.”
A pause, and then:
“By the way… you owe me twenty-one quid.”

…callback to Soap Operas and Superstars - when, if you recall, Angel offered Spike the contents of his bank account if Buffy ever kissed him. It’s now the end of Intervention, and she just did… hence the phonecall.

Message on the Machine

(This was originally the entire answering-machine message, without any surrounding narration. But it really didn’t work that well.)

“Buffy, it’s Angel. If you’re there, pick up.
Buffy?
Okay, well this is Angel, and I’ve got this… Cordelia’s in trouble.”
Twenty-three hours and sixteen minutes. She’s already been gone almost a full day.
Angel rested his head in his hands and continued explaining, to Buffy’s answering machine, the reason he’d probably never see her again.
Twenty-three hours and seventeen minutes.
“That’s all, really. Take care… Oh, and could you let Spike know? Thanks.”
And it was done. One more phonecall to Gunn, and he’d be ready. Assuming Wesley had figured it out by then.
Hold on, Cordy. I’m coming.

Angel’s going to Pylea. And Buffy (and Spike) are already in a Winnebago fighting a Renaissance Faire, which is why no-one’s answered the phone.

And Now There’s Nothing

Cordelia cried.
Wesley peppered Willow with questions, and offered his sympathies.
Gunn nodded solemnly, far more concerned with heading out to check up on his crew.
Fred asked about tacos.

I have this thing for Fred eating tacos as often as possible.

Willow kept her eyes firmly fixed on Angel from the moment he entered the hotel. She didn't ask how he was. She didn't ask anything - and, for that, he was grateful.
It was a lovely day outside. Perfect weather.
Angel walked into the office, shut the door, sat at the desk, and waited.
A short while later - or possibly a long while - the phone rang.
And two vampires wept together.

(This was supposed to be terribly poignant. I have no idea if it worked.)

Part Five: Unfair

Mostly a reference to Buffy and Spike’s relationship, which is taking off dramatically during this section.

Counting Cards

“Five clubs! And I fold to a bloody full house!”
Every Thursday at 10pm, Spike would send Dawn up to bed. And every Thursday at quarter past, Spike would call Angel, and complain about how much money he’d lost to Dawn at poker.
“You know this is entirely your fault.”
“Yeah? How’s that?”
“You’re the one teaching her to play. You shouldn’t have mentioned bluffing.”
“You would say that. If I have anything to do with it, Snack Pack’ll soon be winning every hand she plays. How’s L.A., anyway?”

I can’t remember where I saw “Snack Pack”, but someone used it as a (very welcome) alternative to “Niblet”, and I thought it was rather fun.

“Well, I got to kill a psychic-vision-creator guy last night.”

…this being straight after That Vision Thing.
My timeline has now switched – AtS episodes followed by BtVS episodes. Which puts this one right before Bargaining.

“Nice.”


Resurrection Reunion

The call came five minutes after Willow’s, while Angel was still in shock.
“Take it she’s told you, then?”
“Yes. It is true, right? Willow hasn’t gone crazy?”
Spike assured Angel that, yes, it was definitely true. He offered no opinion about the mental state of Willow.

(Willow’s mental state being kind of strange and scary at this point in time.)

There was so much to ask. If she was back…
“-some sort of hell dimension?”
“That’s her story, yeah.”
“I was thinking about meeting up with her. And, you know, talking. About how she’s adjusting.”
There was a very long pause, and then Spike said:
“Actually, that might not be a bad idea.”

Yes, Angel basically just asked Spike for permission to call Buffy.
And Spike says yes. Cue phonecall at the end of Flooded.

What Could Make It Worse?

Spike seemed to have perfected the art of conveying a smirk over phone lines. Even without the slightest hint of smugness in his voice.

I’m not entirely sure whether Spike is actually being smug here, or whether Angel just thinks he is. Possibly a little of both.

“-some quite nice musical backing behind us.”

This being the kiss at the end of Once More With Feeling.

Angel closed his eyes.
Let’s make a list, shall we?
One girlfriend (former): evil, pregnant, and upstairs on your bed.
One girlfriend (future): seriously pissed at you, and nursing a nasty neck wound inflicted by evil girlfriend.
One girlfriend (former): resurrected, gorgeous, and apparently on the verge of shacking up with your platinum blond arch-nemesis and phone-buddy.
Would that be an accurate summary?

*sigh*
Darla, Cordelia, and Buffy. Angel really isn’t doing too well in the romance department right now.

(I loved Angel calling Spike his “arch-nemesis and phone-buddy”.)

The whole thing was completely unfair.


Correct Childcare

Oh, this was fun to write…

Babies needed calm. And quiet.
If you heard something surprising, you had to inquire about it softly, rather than yelling “WHAT?!” at the top of your lungs.
If your world was suddenly rocked to its very foundations, you could not pace the room, firing questions down the phone.
If someone told you, in detail, about the house-destroying sex they’d had, it was important not to howl with rage and throw the change table across the room.
BABIES NEEDED CALM AND QUIET.
Angel put the phone down, put the baby down, and calmly and quietly put his fist through the wall.

This time, Spike is definitely smug. And has rung Angel purely to rub it in.

…this is also when I started realising something I probably should have realised a lot earlier: this fic isn’t about Spike. It’s about Angel. Obvious, yes, but I really had no idea. I was sure I was writing a fic about Spike… and then it turned out to be entirely about Angel, and how these conversations affect him.

Part Six: Too Much

Several Strategies

This is set after Dead Things (and in the middle of Couplet). Spike has just been beaten to a pulp after he (very reasonably, in his opinion) tried to stop her turning herself in to the cops. He’s feeling kind of frustrated (poor boy).

“-teach her. Or a red-hot crowbar, right through-”
Angel prided himself on being an understanding sort of person.
“-to pieces with a mallet, until she realises-”
Able to put up with almost any opinion expressed by almost anyone.
“-unless she screams for more.”
But if Spike didn’t-
“-for at least fifteen hours. And then, I’d switch on the-”
If Spike didn’t, pretty soon, stop listing all the hundreds of ways he’d like to painfully torture some common sense into Buffy, Angel would reach the end of his tether.
“-peel it right off again. She just needs to-”
Any minute now.


Comfort and Contentment

“She broke up with me.”
Angel silently pumped his fist into the air, and assumed a very sympathetic voice.

He wants to be nice to Spike, but he also really wants Spike away from Buffy…

“Wow, Spike. I’m sorry. What happened?”
“Well my crypt exploded, for one.”
Exploding bedrooms, and painful breakups with Buffy. Two more things they had in common. This was getting ridiculous.

(Riley blew up Spike’s place in As You Were, and Angel’s room fell victim to an earthquake, followed by a fire, in Loyalty.)

This next bit was re-written after I’d finished the whole fic. Originally it was way too anvilly.

Angel folded diapers as he listened, packing them into Connor’s overnight bag.
Bottle, bottle, teddy, pyjamas. New pyjamas, in fact - the next size up. That boy was growing fast.
“Did you have enough toast?”
“Toast?”
“For all those scrambled eggs.”

(Because of the eggs Riley was after.)

“Very funny.”
He checked the time. Wes would be here shortly.

This is the last time Angel will see his son before Quortoth.

Staying Superficial

They’d been talking for over an hour now. A stimulating conversation about any number of vitally important subjects.
“You know, Groo was wrong. I actually like the pomegranate mist.”
“Seriously? Your wallpaper colour is pomegranate mist?”
Important subjects such as decorating tips, hockey teams, Vegas, and guitars. He didn’t know what painful topics Spike was skirting around, but Angel was quite willing to go with it.

The painful topic Spike is avoiding is Anya – from the whole Entropy debacle.

“It’s paint.”
“Not wallpaper?”
“No. Paint. We repainted it again after… well, anyway, I like it.”

…after Connor was kidnapped.

Some things were better left in the past.
“Do you know what I like?”
“What?”
“Vodka.”
“Good call.”

Originally, this drabble was purely Spike and Angel getting drunk, and swapping drink recipes over the phone. It… kind of changed.

Interpreting the Indecipherable

This is the last phonecall. And it deliberately mimics the first one as much as possible.

Angel was waiting. Waiting for Connor to come home again.

(Connor is back from Quortoth, and currently running around on the streets of L.A. This is just after A New World.)

And waiting for Spike to get to the point of whatever he was saying.
So far, he’d managed to determine that Spike was leaving Sunnydale (although he wouldn’t say why), was very upset (about something), and had some sort of a plan.

(Post-AR. I’m sure you can figure this out.)

Angel sat and waited for some kind of clue as to what was going on.
Then, suddenly, a determined voice said “Sod this for a lark,” and Spike hung up on him.
Angel waited in the hotel all evening, just in case, but the phone didn’t ring again.

One of the points mentioned in romanyg’s essay was that, in Beneath You, Spike said “Angel should have warned me” …about his soul and what it would do to him.
Spike is (according to this fic) referring to this specific phonecall – but he’s very upset, and Angel hasn’t got a clue what’s going on…

Part Seven: Epilogue

…and here’s where I went “cosmic”.
The next two drabbles happen simultaneously, and don’t contain anything we haven’t seen on-screen. They are, however, written from a “cosmic” perspective – where Spike is not “Spike”, Buffy is not “Buffy”, and Angel is not “Angel”. They are instead referred to purely by titles.

Soul Searching

(First up, we have Spike.)

Love’s Bitch journeyed to the dark end of Africa,
compelled by the Last Guardian, the Twice-Lived.

“Love’s Bitch” is Spike (from Lovers Walk), and “the Last Guardian, the Twice-Lived” is Buffy (last guardian of the Hellmouth - Get It Done - and… well, someone who’s lived twice).

Kneeling at the gateway, he shouted into sadness:

Spike’s drabble is active – Angel’s is almost entirely passive. Watch the verbs.

I am God Defyer, Key Protector, Alliance Forger. I will be old made new.

Um…
“God Defyer” refers to Intervention, and Glory.
“Key Protector” refers to Dawn, specifically in The Gift.
“Alliance Forger” refers to the fact that he continually made alliances with Buffy, in Becoming, among others.
Spike is basically pulling out his creds, and pointing out that he’s extremely important.
And “old made new” is because of the whole reason he’s there…

Boldly claiming a place in prophecies marked for another,

(The Shanshu bit, in particular.)

he stood his ground and chose his prize.

Again – watch the verbs. Spike is active.

He would be what was deserved.

From Beneath You: “I wanted to give you what you deserved.”

He would have it all, and have insanity.
He would find his fullness, and become himself again.
The spark was given to he who loved,
and it burned him with its flame.

Another Beneath You reference. But I’m not going to quote the entire scene – go watch it.

He would be man and not monster.

From a piece of meta – can’t remember where – discussing Spike’s choice in Seeing Red: would he become a man, or a monster?

Whale Watching

(And now, we have Angel.)

The Dark Avenger sank to the bottom of the ocean,
imprisoned by the Miracle Child, the Destroyer.

“The Dark Avenger” is Angel (from Hero), and “the Miracle Child, the Destroyer” is Connor (see Quickening, and The Price).

Lying in the sanctuary, he whispered into stillness:

(Again – verbs. Angel is extremely passive in this drabble.)

Was I guilty, was I faulty, was I wrong? I would not be forgotten.
Seated in sorrow waiting as was ever his fate,
he grieved over moments lost and friendships shattered.
Insanity came.
Endless displays of the was, the will, and the might have been,
paraded before him with mocking laughter.

…for example, every single Angel scene in Deep Down.

He held to promises, intangible as ever.
He would be free.
He would be whole.
He would be forgiven.
He waited in the darkness.


Adventurous and Absent

I originally planned to have the phonecalls continuing during season 4. But I couldn’t actually come up with any time for them to happen. Either Spike is all crazy in the basement, or Angel’s soulless, or Sunnydale has no power… I just couldn’t come up with a plausible way for a phonecall to happen.
Eventually, I realised it would actually work better if there weren’t any.

The phone didn’t ring that year.
Well, it rang, obviously. When blood is pouring down people’s walls, they tend to ask for help.
But the phonecall Angel was always expecting? Never came.
There was no chance to describe electrifying kisses; to laugh about zombies in business suits; to compare stories of amnesia spells.
When the sky rained fire, when the divers finally found him, when the world was too peaceful, when the sun was ripped from the sky - there was no call.

*another deep breath*
Gwen Raiden in Ground State, Wolfram & Hart in Habeus Corpses, the 15-year-olds in Spin The Bottle (and Joan and Randy in Tabula Rasa), the fire raining down in Apocalypse Nowish, being rescued by Justine and Wes in Deep Down, Jasmine’s reign of sunshiney goodness in Shiny Happy People, and the blackout in Long Day’s Journey.

No equal and opposite on the other end, sniping over everything.
After a while he stopped missing it.


Cookies and Crypts

This is the only bit with a scene from the show. Buffy and Angel’s words are straight out of Chosen.

Buffy rolled her eyes.
“You’re not getting the brush-off. Are you just going to come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?”
“Ah-ha!” Angel exclaimed. “Boyfriend!”
“He’s not.”
Angel settled down, mollified, as she continued:
“But, he is in my heart.”
“That’ll end well.”
“What was the highlight of our relationship?” Buffy demanded. “When you broke up with me, or when I killed you?”
Buffy’s head was filled with battle tactics, Potential training, and cookie dough speeches. Had she not been so distracted, she might have wondered why Angel didn't seem slightly more surprised.

…this being the premise of that bit of romanyg’s essay – that Angel knows far too much about Spike and what he’s been doing. After all, the last time they saw each other on-screen, Spike was 1) not yet chipped, 2) evil, 3) completely hating Buffy, and 4) in Los Angeles, without any plans to return to Sunnydale. And yet, Angel doesn’t seem surprised to hear that he’s there, or that he’s working with Buffy, or that Buffy’s in a relationship with him.
The only thing he is surprised about is Spike’s soul (– which, given that their phonecalls stopped, he’s never heard about).

…and that’s the end. Thanks for reading!

Comments

[snowpuppies]

1) It was great to re-read this - I'd forgotten how much I liked it the first time.

2) I loved your thoughts and how you pointed out the references you made - I don't always get those, especially the Ats ones, so it was nice to see them spelled out. :)

Great commentary.

[deird1]

Yay! Thanks!

I put so many references in this one... gosh that was a lot of fun.

[silveronthetree.livejournal.com]

I love your stories because of the detail and deliberation of every single sentence you write. This is fascinating because I am discovering that however much I noticed, there is so much more that I completely missed.

One day Angel would figure out exactly how he was doing it.

This was actually a joke I had with myself.

I remember wondering how he managed this when I read the fic

(This was supposed to be terribly poignant. I have no idea if it worked.)

It worked :)

In Several Strategies the use of technique of the disjointed descriptions of everything Spike wants to do - the bits that you don't hear bring up even more awesomely disgusting images.

I am God Defyer
Should this be God Defier?

[deird1]

I love your stories because of the detail and deliberation of every single sentence you write. This is fascinating because I am discovering that however much I noticed, there is so much more that I completely missed.

Thanks! I really enjoy putting in lots of subtle details, and seeing if anyone picks up on them...

In Several Strategies the use of technique of the disjointed descriptions of everything Spike wants to do - the bits that you don't hear bring up even more awesomely disgusting images.

That was the idea. :)
I agree with Amy: People's imaginations are so much better than anything I could come up with.

I am God Defyer
Should this be God Defier?

I considered both. Word says that both are incorrect - so I went with the one that looked better...

[silveronthetree.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it does look better in that context, although my UK dictionary says defier. I wasn't sure if this was a UK/Australian difference thing - are there differences between UK and Australian spelling? I'm still completely confused by the UK/Canadian differences which aren't the same as UK/USA.

[deird1]

are there differences between UK and Australian spelling?

Not that I know of. Although someone else might know of some.

my UK dictionary says defier.

See, there's the difference between us: you actually have a dictionary. I tend to rely on the Aussie Spelling setup in Word. It picks up on most stuff. But "defier" ain't in there...

[silveronthetree.livejournal.com]

*g* I used to work as a copy editor, it goes with the territory.

[mabus101.livejournal.com]

Ah, very interesting. I don't think I'd ever read this before, though I could be mistaken. I suppose no one remembers everything they've ever read. ;-)

I was thinking the same thing as silveronthetree about the spelling thing on "defier". I'm sure I've seen it that way somewhere before, but, clearly, YMVs

I had always assumed that there were some phone calls behind the scenes, but I never really considered who'd be making them, and I never guessed Spike calling Angel. For some reason, I think somewhere down deep I expected Buffy and Angel talking, though properly analyzed that doesn't seem much more likely. (They'd have stayed closer in that case.)

[deird1]

I never guessed Spike calling Angel.

That's the thing. When I read romanyg's essay, she was talking about Spike calling Angel, and I just thought "No, that's insane. Spike would never call Angel." - because the idea just seemed so weird.
Really, this whole fic began as a way to see if it could make sense...

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Oh, fun! I like commentaries.

And yay for all the explain-y bits. Very helpful-like.

[deird1]

Glad you enjoyed it!