deird_lj: (Default)
[personal profile] deird_lj
So, you've decided to change careers.


Killing superheroes and plotting to take over the world just doesn't have the thrill that it used to.

Your conscience has been twinging, more and more, every time you fire up the death ray.

Your supreme overlord's maniacal laughter seems less jolly, and more... maniacal. And you've forgotten why his plan to chop the legs off of all jazz musicians seemed like such a good idea.

Plus, sooner or later, the authorities are bound to track him down. And you've heard that minions tend to get a minimum jail term of fifty years, no parole.

Any of this sound familiar?


Then here's some advice, free from me to you:

Whatever you do, do NOT march into your boss's office, and proudly tell him that you will take no further part in his evil plan, and that your conscience is clear.

Especially, do not tell him that the essential bit of his evil plan that was supposed to be your special job for tomorrow now won't be getting done, because you've changed your mind.

And then, don't walk out of there, head held high, confident that you have thwarted his scheme and that life will be perfect from now on.

HE WILL KILL YOU. LIFE WILL NOT BE PERFECT. LIFE WILL END. YOU WILL DIE.


Instead, just smile, calmly, reassure your boss that everything will be fine, that the scorpion pit is fully stocked, and the ninjas are on standby.
Then, walk out of his office, calmly, drive away from the lair, calmly, go home, calmly, go to South America, change your name, and never ever return... and THEN let your boss find out that you've thwarted his evil scheme.

Trust me. It'll work out much better for you.


This message was brought to you by far too many tv shows to list - but, most recently, by Lois and Clark, and some truly stupid minions.

Date: 2009-05-06 09:47 am (UTC)
elisi: Edwin and Charles (LOL by killmebecomeme)
From: [personal profile] elisi
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Date: 2009-05-06 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neutralalienist.livejournal.com
OH GOD I HAVE BANGED MY HEAD SO MANY TIMES OVER THAT.

No, do not make your Righteous Last Stand. Be rational, for goodness' sake.

Date: 2009-05-06 10:43 am (UTC)
sarian71: (LOL)
From: [personal profile] sarian71
Extreme ROTFLMAO!!!

That's *very* useful advice. I thank you for that! :D

Date: 2009-05-06 11:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] washa-way.livejournal.com
Best. Post. Ever.

Date: 2009-05-06 12:09 pm (UTC)
ext_55027: (vm)
From: [identity profile] silveronthetree.livejournal.com
You wonder how the supreme overlords got to be supreme over anything if there minions are so stupid.

Date: 2009-05-06 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curiouswombat.livejournal.com
See - that's why some people never rise above minionhood...

Date: 2009-05-06 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] menomegirl.livejournal.com
LMFAO!!!!!

Oh girl, that's some funny fucking shit and really? Some damn good advice.

Date: 2009-05-06 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com
Have you ever thought about becoming a life coach? Because there are clearly people who could use your skills. So. Many. People.

Date: 2009-05-06 11:52 pm (UTC)
ext_30166: Sierra looking holy shit amazing (Default)
From: [identity profile] lavastar.livejournal.com
Oh, god! Hilarious!

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