Voice Recognition

[deird_lj]

I have decided to switch to direct-debit for my phone bill. This is due in large part to the new automated system they have for when you try paying bills over the phone.

Of course, the over-the-phone system has ALWAYS been automated. The difference is, I'm used to it sounding something like this:

"Hello, and welcome to YourFone.
To hear your account balance, press 1.
To make a payment, press 2..."

and so on.

Now, though, they have apparently decided that customers
a) are too stupid to deal with a choice of ten different buttons on a keypad
b) want personal contact with staff

So, they have set up a new, efficient, modern system, in which the Customer will be Personally Greeted by a Friendly Assistant who will use Voice Recognition to Help Them With Their Concerns.
This new system sounds sort of like this:

"Hi! I'm Tracey! And I'm here to help!
Please tell me, in simple words, what you want to do today."

Yep. "Personal contact" is apparently achieved by giving the recorded message a name.


I didn't really like the new system, and found it hard to pay my bills without having options to choose from.
Yesterday I went to my local mobile store, and asked if I could switch to direct debit. No, I was told, to switch to direct debit I had to call their Customer Service line, and speak to an operator.

This being the same Customer Service line that I'm trying to avoid by going to direct debit.


Anyway, I rang up this morning:

YourFone Recording: Hi! I'm Tracey! And I'm here to help! Please tell me, in simple words, what you want to do today.
Me: Uh... Direct Debit.
Tracey: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. I can understand you better if you use simple words.
Me: Change payment?
Tracey: If you are calling from an area with a lot of background noise, you might be hard to understand. Try calling me back later from a quiet location.
Me (calling from my dead-silent office): Um... Help.
Tracey: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. I can understand you better-
Me: LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE HUMAN!
Tracey (deciding I need some options): If you want to find out about your account details, say "Phone Options". If you want to make a payment using the YourFone Ezy Pay Option, say "Ezy Pay Deposit". If you want to change some account details, say "Account Change". If you want to change your account options, say "Account Options".
Me (knowing that at least three of these might be the one I'm after): Account Change.
Tracey: If you want to pay using a credit card, please enter your phone number.

After that, I hung up before I
a) destroyed my phone by beating it repeatedly with a stapler
or
b) lost my will to live.

Comments

[taiba.livejournal.com]

I suggest you move to a different phone company :-p This sucks. You should be able to do this stuff online, or at one of their outlets.

You could send an email complaint. There should be a 'contact us by email' option somewhere, right?

[klme.livejournal.com]

I'm told if the system repeatedly can't understand you then they eventually either 1/ transfer you to a human, or 2/cut you off ('That is not a valid option. Goodbye' *clunk*), both of which I have experienced.
Try calling back and just saying 'Bleek, blurt baagooo!' (or whatever takes your fancy at the time) at every option and see where it gets you.
Let me know the outcome - or better yet transcribe the conversation, I want to hear your side of it...

[klme.livejournal.com]

On a related note, how much do you just want to hit the Westpac ATM teller chick with a rolled up newspaper? 'My, there's a human on the screen! That makes this ATM so much better than the others! She must REALLY want to help me!'