Insane Soap Opera Plotline

[deird_lj]

Randomly, and for no reason, I'd like to talk about Days of our Lives.

Specifically, the episodes of DooL I watched in the summer between high school and uni - when I briefly became obsessed with it.


The problem with soap operas is, you sit down to watch one episode, and then stay to watch the next fifty. Or at least that's what happened to me.

I tuned in (randomly) because I was bored, and decided to watch it the next day... just so I could see the resolution of the storyline.

The resolution of the storyline took the next three months.


So, anyway...

The Epic Saga of "John"

(I don't actually have a clue what this guy's name was - despite watching his life every hour for three months - but he's always been "John" in my head. So that's what I'm calling him here.)

The characters involved in this particular plotline were:
- John. A handsome, rich, and generally wonderful human being. So much so that every woman within a fifty mile radius is in love with him.
- The Wife. A sexy blonde woman, who was married to John, and is about to renew her marriage vows. They are madly in love.
- The Doctor. Another sexy blonde woman, who is also madly in love with John. They are having an affair.
- Evil Elvis Fan. A third sexy blonde woman - this one with a very prominent southern accent, and an Elvis obsession. She is evil. And everyone knows it.
- The Nun. The twin sister of Evil Elvis Fan. (Yet another sexy blonde woman.)


And the storyline?

As far as I could tell (coming in after it had already started), it went something like this:

Evil Elvis Fan is in love with John. So she has an evil plan.

This plan involves
a) kidnapping The Wife and The Doctor
b) locking them up in "The Secret Room"
c) impersonating The Wife

"The Secret Room" is a room in John's mansion. He has no idea that it exists. It has enough food, water, and toilet facilities for two women to live in for several months, brilliant door locks, and a tv set linked to hidden cameras in every other room in the mansion.

Evil Elvis Fan locks the two women in the Secret Room. Where the two of them try to break out (and then give up in despair), bicker about who John loves the most (given that one of them's his wife and the other is his girlfriend, this conversation gets rather heated), and watch the tv.
The tv somehow knows where Evil Elvis Fan and John are in the mansion - and gives The Wife and The Doctor constant viewing of what's going on, so that they can look on the love of John and Evil Elvis Fan (disguised as The Wife) and despair. Which they do. At length.

Evil Elvis Fan, despite having a prominent southern accent and looking completely different from The Wife, is somehow managing to impersonate her perfectly. The only clue which might give her away is a tattoo of Elvis - on her ankle.

This leads to some very entertaining scenes, which go sort of like this:

Evil Elvis Fan: "Oh, John, my love. How I love you!"
John: "Oh, Wife! I love you too!"
(John turns despairingly aside, and murmurs "Oh Doctor - how I wish I could find you! Where are you, my love?" Somehow Evil Elvis Fan fails to notice this.)
Wife and Doctor (in T.S.R.): "Oh! John! He loves me!" (both taking separate portions of John's dialogue as proof that John loves only them)
Evil Elvis Fan: "Oh, John! My love!"
John: "Oh, Wife! My darling!"
Wife and Doctor (in T.S.R.): "John! Look at her ankle! LOOK AT HER ANKLE!!! It's Evil Elvis Fan! Look at the tattoo!"
John: "Oh, my dear one. Soon we will be married once more, and then all our dreams will come true."
Evil Elvis Fan: "Yes, my wondrous one!"
(Evil Elvis Fan turns towards the hidden camera, and smiles evilly at Wife and Doctor. Wife and Doctor promptly glare back at her - and then start an argument about who John loves the most.)
John: "Oh, Doctor... why are you missing, and how can I get you back?" *sighs*


After a few weeks of this, The Nun shows up.

And because the entire town knows that Evil Elvis Fan is evil, and because The Nun looks exactly like Evil Elvis Fan, everyone promptly decides that she's actually Evil Elvis Fan in disguise - and starts trying to kidnap her, so they can find out what her latest evil plans are and (somehow) thwart them.

Soon, The Nun is tied up in someone's basement, determinedly protesting her innocence, The Wife and The Doctor are trying to break out of the Secret Room (while keeping the other one locked in there somehow), and Evil Elvis Fan is happily planning her wedding and taking every opportunity to gloat over the hidden cameras.



It was hilarious. And SO FASCINATING.


...and that concludes my foray into daytime soap operas.


(There was really no point to this story. I just felt like discussing it.)

Comments

[spiralleds.livejournal.com]

Well before Kristen and Marlena got locked up together, the mastermind was not Susan, the EvilElivsFan.

It started because Johna and Kristen were to be married. And though Kristen was the adopted daughter of Stefano, was really good. But then she had a miscarriage, and felt threatened by Marlena, and was convinced if she told John she had miscarried, then John would leave her for Marlena.

So Stefano convinced Kristen to fake her pregnancy, and Stefano found a woman who looked exactly like Kristen, except for bad teeth, pop bottle glasses, and an Elvis obsession. Stefano apparently seduced Susan by dressing up as Elvis, so Susan was convinced that Elvis was the father of her child. Stefano/Kristen's plan was to pass off Susan as Kristen at doctor's appointments, etc., and when Susan gave birth, then John and Kristen would raise her child (and John would never know the difference).

I don't quite remember the details of how the plan went off the rails and how Susan got the upper hand, locking both Kristen and Marlena in the basement. (They were living in the Dimera Mansion, which was why John didn't know about the secret passages.)

Susan eventually fell in love with this sweet-but-dorky guy. Eventually Susan confessed to the Brady's, etc., who she was. And they thwarted Stefano/Kristen's plan to ship Susan off to harem with no way of communicating with the outside world, and instead unbeknownst to Stefano, Kristen was the one shipped off and Susan, dorky guy, and baby Elvis secretly ran off to Europe to live happily ever after, never to be heard from again.

Except somewhere a long the way, Stefano did find out, took baby Elvis from Susan and raised him as his own son, which technically Elvis is. Now, the only one who calls him Elvis is Stefano, and everyone else calls him EJ. (Which means when he first came back to the show as a hot race car driver, no one realize he was baby Elvis and up to no good.)

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Heh. What amused me during the retelling of this plot is when all of this was taking place, when EJ was being born, Sammy was Fifteen - seventeen years old. And now... they're the same age and he's father of 2 of her 4 kids! (She's 30-ish and has FOUR KIDS! One of which is about 19!) Eek!