language question

[deird_lj]

Realised there's something about Other Englishs that I don't know:


If I'm walking down the street, and suddenly need to attract the attention of a random stranger, then I call out

"Hey, mate..."


"Mate", of course, is rather Australian.

So I was wondering: what do other people call total strangers when they need to start a conversation?

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

Umm... Here in the USA, one tends to shudder at the thought of accosting strangers lest they be potential spree killers (or maybe that's just those of us from Los Angeles), but if I needed desperately to accost a stranger, I would walk up to them and say: Pardon me, sir (or ma'am).


Gabrielle

[deird1]

Wow. That sounds so stiffly formal...


(To my Aussie-trained ears, anyway.)

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

I suppose I'm rather a desperately formal type.


Gabrielle

[taiba.livejournal.com]

I usually go with "Excuse me..."

[deird1]

Yes, but if you CALL them something, what do you call them?

[taiba.livejournal.com]

"Hey you - the guy, with the red jacket!"

That sort of thing.

[me-llamo-nic.livejournal.com]

Typically, in the parts of the USA that I've lived in, a simple "hey" or "hey, dude" or "hey, you, with the [insert characteristic here]" or "excuse me" are acceptable. Mate is very eastern English/Australian. I'm reminded of a memorable Doctor Who scene...

DOCTOR: (somewhat quickly) "I just want a mate."
DONNA: "You just want 'to mate'?"..."Well, you're not mating with me, sunshine!"

[deird1]

It's funny, because I'd never use "mate" in any other context. It's purely a word for accosting random strangers with...

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Question - do you also call women strangers "mate"?
BTW, I'm going to link here from riters_r_us This is a great discussion for everyone to read.

[deird1]

Hooray for linkage!


Yeah, I'd also call women "mate". (Also - see jl_in_the_lane's response. I agree with her.)

[jl-in-the-lane.livejournal.com]

Thanks, but I said I wouldn't call women 'mate'!!

[deird1]

Yeah, but I agree with you about the other bits...

[swellen.livejournal.com]

I can't think of any situation where I would be comfortable saying "hey, mate" to anyone, let alone a stranger. I tend to say "Excuse me" and make eye contact so they know I'm talking to them.

[snowpuppies]

I usually go with "sir" or "ma'am".

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Me, too. But then, I'm Southern, and I was always raised to call anyone who is older than me "sir" or "ma'am." So that feels pretty natural.

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

*nods*

Yep. "Sir" and "ma'am" are pretty standard for me.

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

Yeah, "excuse me" at various volume levels seems to do the trick. It's not especially formal when you say it loud... You can add "sir" or "ma'am" if you don't get their attention right away. Calling a stranger "pal", "buddy", or similar has a slightly sinister connotation. It's a bit aggressive, if that makes sense. "Mate" is completely out unless you have a Commonwealth accent, in which case it would be charming. (We're so weird.)

[washa-way.livejournal.com]

In the southern US, "Excuse me" (or "Pardon me") is usually enough. "Excuse me, sir" or "Excuse me ma'am" is also usable, especially if the person is older or in more authority than you--a policeman, say. It's not universal, but Southerners tend to err on the side of excessive courtesy, even in the middle of an insult ("You, sir, are not worthy to lick the underside of my great-granddaddy's scrotum!")

Words like mate, buddy, friend, etc. would not be considered rude, but might come off as a little presumptuous, unless of course the person was a friend already.

[1c2k3p4p5c.livejournal.com]

In America, in a plane, needed to attract the attention of a total stranger, said loudly "Excuse me", which got the attention of at least four people but also got an exchange of seats, which was what I wanted (to sit next to dh).

[bluemage55.livejournal.com]

I generally use "Excuse me, sir/ma'am/miss," for most circumstances. "Hey, kid" might be used for children, and "yo, dawg" in urban/nightlife contexts, and in some circumstances, "hey, you in the (insert article of clothing)!"

That said, attracting the attention of random strangers is unusual here in California.

[bobthemole.livejournal.com]

I usually say, "Excuse me, sir*! Sir? SIR! SIIIIIIIIIRRRRRR!!!" Followed by running a sprint and tapping their shoulder.

Americans (or at least Texans) don't often notice when someone is trying to attract their attention.






* Or Ma'am.

[glorious-pancake-morning.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

In my line of work, I am frequently required to attract the attention of senior citizens with likely hearing impairments, who are making determined efforts not to notice me because they are afraid I will sell them something.
(I am supposed to check their movie tickets but I'm behind the candy counter. "Hello - hello! Hello? Please stop walking away...")

I prefer it when there are more than one. Then, I say "EXCUSE ME, FOLKS!"
(I used to say "LADIES" or "FELLAS" but I have had problems in the past with guessing the wrong gender. Old people don't like that.)

When it's just one on their own, I feel weirder because I am not really comfortable using "sir" or "ma'am", and I feel rude just shouting generally, "!#!EXCUSE ME!#!"

It doesn't matter very much in the end. They try VERY hard not to hear. They can be as little as two metres away, clearly looking in my direction--

Me flailing wildly:
"HI THERE SIR I JUST NEED TO CHECK YOUR TICKET"

Old man smiles politely and does not slow down:
"No thanks, I've eaten..."

A counterquestion

[glorious-pancake-morning.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

Q. When other people try to get YOUR attention, what do they usually call you... and what do you respond to?

:P

(I got called "lady" by a toddler's mum saying "say thank you to the lady" and it weirded me out. I'm not a lady... ladies are grown up! 22 isn't grown up. Is it?)

Speaking as the mother of one preschooler and one toddler here...

[jl-in-the-lane.livejournal.com]

I used to HATE the way people would refer to grown-up women as 'ladies' like that. And now I find myself saying it automatically. It all has to do with finding ways to make sure the child
- understands who you are talking about, and
- doesn't say anything embarrassing about that person.

If you said, "Say thankyou to the girl," the child would start looking for someone their own size.
They see it as very clear-cut.
- Children/Kids are small people.
- Grown-ups are big people.
Which means you'd have to refer to a 22 year-old as 'the woman' (sounds rude), 'the big girl' (sounds VERY rude) or 'the lady' (i.e. what you want your child to refer to that person as).

Actually, I find it much harder working out the age at which to start referring to teenagers as 'grown-ups' as opposed to 'kids'. Because they don't look like kids to me, but they may do to my sons...

(And I do vividly remember the first time someone referred to me as 'the lady' to their kids. And I was 22. And I was COMPLETELY freaked out. So I hear you. :) )

Re: Speaking as the mother of one preschooler and one toddler here...

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

LOL! I was about 16 and working in a craft store the first time someone told a child, "Give the lady your toy," at the check-out lane. Srsly weirded me out.

Re: A counterquestion

[jl-in-the-lane.livejournal.com]

Oh, *facepalm*, I meant that teens DO look like kids to me, but mightn't to my sons.
Anyway, my POINT was that it can be tricky to know.

[speakr2customrs.livejournal.com]

In my native tongue it's "How! Ye!"

[quinara]

If someone's dropped something, my standard yell is 'Oh, hi, sorry...!!' fairly loudly, and people in the vicinity will tend to turn around, at which point I dash up to the person whose attention I was trying to get. (I tend to use 'sorry' in all circumstances you might expect 'excuse me' - I'm not sure how much that is a Brit/young Brit/me thing.)

If I were drunk I'd be more likely just to go with 'oi!'. Otherwise, I do use 'mate', but I tend to reserve it for actual conversation, and it's nearly always ironic/sarcastic, so 'yeah, mate [yemmate]' to a friend or 'look, mate' to someone I'm annoyed with and happen to have drifted into that sort of diction at the time.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

When I was in London for a few months post high school (back in the early 90s) it was a difference that really stood out to me that Londoners would say "sorry" in places where I would say "excuse me."

[quinara]

Ah! It might be a London thing then. Interesting...

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Gotta go with velvetwhip on this one. I'm also a "sir or ma'am" type. Blame it on my mother and her insistence on manners. Blame it on my age. Blame it on the Victorian Age, but whatcha gonna do? Like Popeye the Sailor-man, "I yam what I yam!"

[jl-in-the-lane.livejournal.com]

Here's a bit of trivia: in a Dick Francis novel I own, the guy playing detective deduces that a guy is more likely to have been American than British solely based on the fact that he called a stranger 'Sir'.

I didn't call ANYONE 'mate', until I went to England. Then I found myself calling the boys 'mate' while I was teaching them, and that's stuck with me. It's a term I find I use when I'm communicating with a student who is
1. male
2. mid-late primary-aged to teen-aged - old enough to want to be cool
3. and I am trying to get their cooperation.
Because boys of that age can really resent being told what to do by a woman (woman = Mother) and may rebel in order to show that they are A Big Boy Now.
So I find myself trying to counteract that tendency by using a term like 'mate' in giving instruction that kind of recognises their Older Maleness and frames my instruction in terms that indicate 'I feel able to tell you this because you're old enough to handle it'.

The only way I can imagine myself using the term to a bloke is if I were trying to tell him off without causing any ire. As in, "Woah, settle down, mate, alright?"

As far as random strangers are concerned...

'HEY, MATE!' = I am shouting to get the attention of someone at the other end of the carpark / street

'Excuse me' = I am right near the person, who is sitting at a table / walking along

'Excuse me, mate / sir / mister(?!)' = I am right near the male person, but they are in a crowd and I need them to realise that I mean them specifically. In which case I'd pick whichever term seemed most appropriate.

'Excuse me, ma'am'/miss' = I am right near the female person, but they are in a crowd and I need them to realise that I mean them specifically. Only I can't imagine either of these terms as ever being appropriate. I wonder whether that's why I usually pick on the men...

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

In my experience, "mate" is specifially London/South East England - which makes sense given that's where the original white Australians were transported from. :-)

If a man wanted to attract the attention of another man in London, he could shout, "'Scuse me, mate!" ("You've dropped this!" or "Do you have the time?"). You would never use 'mate' to a woman: the equivalent would be 'love', but these days that's problematic because many women find it patronising - but others have no problem with it.

Younger women might also use 'mate' to a man and 'love' to another woman; older women and some younger ones would use 'love' to both sexes.

[quinara]

You would never use 'mate' to a woman

This wasn't the case at my (all girls') school. There everyone used 'mate', but no one used 'love'. We were just out beyond North West London though - I tend to think of 'love' as a South/East London thing.

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

I'd probably say "Excuse me" or "Excuse me, Miss/Sir" or some other appropriate "I don't know you, but I have to call you something so that you know who I'm talking to" word.

Of course, if I'm watching crowded hallways full of students and I catch someone doing something I don't like, I'll shout "Hey! You in the red shirt! Yeah, you. Come back here!" LOL

[gillo]

"Excuse me" is my norm. Middle Englander here...

[peroxidepirate.livejournal.com]

Just, "Excuse me!" or if that doesn't work, "Hey! Excuse me!" if possible.

If it's necessary to clarify which person I'm talking to:
"Excuse me, sir," for a middle aged or older man.
"Excuse me, ma'am," for a middle aged or older woman.
.... but sometimes I'd use either of these for someone who's definitely an authority figure or a professional, even if they're in their 20s or 30s.

"Hey, dude," for a teenage boy or a younger man (somehow, "Excuse me, dude," just doesn't work).

And there's really no good equivalent for young women -- older people would say "Excuse me, miss." Some women can get away with "Hey, honey." I guess I'd probably go with, "Hey, dude," for a girl, too.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Just, "Excuse me!" or if that doesn't work, "Hey! Excuse me!" if possible.

Me too.

Although, if it is some obnoxious young male I wish to berate for dropping litter, or whatever, I am more likely to go with the "How! Ye!" of my husband's native tongue...

[next_to_normal]

I'd usually just say "Excuse me" and not call them anything, but if I HAD to, I'd go with sir/ma'am/miss, or maybe kid if they're young.

Mate/buddy/pal or anything that denotes familiarity tends to be taken as negative or sarcastic when it's a stranger - "Hey, watch where you're going, pal!" etc.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

US/South. It's usually "Hey!" It can be "Hey, you guys!" or "Hey, you all!"

In a more proper setting, it would be "Excuse me." If it went further, "Excuse me, ma'am/sir/miss..."

If being extremely flippant "Dude!" In a variety of stresses.

[owenthurman.livejournal.com]

If a stranger is looking my way, "howdy!"

If she's not yet looking my way, "howdy, there!"

If I have to touch her to get her attention, "pardon me."

If the stranger is a child, "excuse me, sir (or ma'am, as the case may be)."

[diamondtook862.livejournal.com]

I avoid titles at all costs. Really. It probably makes me rude. I do excuse me at first, and if it's a group once they turn around I'll go up and touch the person I mean rather than calling them something. Yes, I will touch a complete stranger rather than calling them something. If they are far away, I'd either point or say "You there!" I'm a very bad American... Any other NYC folk out there? Could it be a New Yorker thing?

[devilscrayon.livejournal.com]

I'd also probably say "Excuse me!" loudly. Possibly with a "sir/ma'am". Although I've had long discussions with other young (mostly midwestern) American women who find it offensive to be referred to as a "ma'am". Personally I don't get it, but they feel like it's equivalent to saying "hey OLD LADY!" *shrug*

[sentine.livejournal.com]

In France, we usually go for "Hello/Excuse me, Sir/Madam". Pretty classic :)

[treadingthedark.livejournal.com]

Southern California. If I'm a little irked it's "dude!" or "yo!" Of course dude is one of those words that can be said a thousand different ways to mean a thousand different things.

When I need to get a student's attention and don't know their name I use honey or sweetie. In a maternal way. They seem to respond positively to it.

In general though it's just "excuse me."

[padawanspider.livejournal.com]

I find that "Um..." or "Uh..." works better than one might expect.