Politeness

[deird_lj]

 I should really stop trying to be considerate of people.

If someone has a weird schedule, or a baby, or is prone to headaches, or just has a generally weird life, I try not to impose my preferences on them, and instead give them lots of options.
"Would you prefer to catch up on Thursday? Or Saturday?"
or "Well, you could meet me inside, or if you'd prefer I can just meet you at the car. So if your daughter's sleeping, you won't have to bring her in."
or "Coffee, maybe? Or a movie? What would you prefer?"

And every time I do that, they start complaining that I'm foisting all of the decisions onto them, and not taking any of the responsibility for myself.
Whereas, if I stopped trying to be considerate, I'd just tell them what I want to do, and we'd probably both be happier.

Comments

[taiba.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. Though I hate it when people refuse to give me a definite preference.

It would make it so much easier if people would just say what they wanted and then you can work around it.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

some people cannot be pleased.

[lyr]

Ack, I know what you mean. This is a lesson I'm trying hard to learn myself.