Wordiness

[deird_lj]

There was an ad on TV this morning, for one of those products that has no artificial anything (and therefore must be good for you). And it went something like this:

0% tridramethaline (Yes, I'm using made-up chemical names because I can't remember the real ones. Go with it...)
0% zenathol
0% usal-hydrocarbonics
0% methalann
0% artificial flavourings
0% artificial colourings
0% synthetic substitutes
100% family!

Obviously, the idea was supposed to be that their product didn't have any of those nasty chemicals, and so it was good for the whole family. But the moment I saw that last one, I just thought "Soylent Green! SOYLENT GREEN!" and freaked out slightly...


In other news, my construction site training included a whole section on plants - which, in this context, are huge big machines like forklifts. I'm very up to date with all the snazzy engineering terminology, but I still found it really amusing when we reached the part about calling the Work-Safety authorities.
The booklet said: You must contact Work-Safety Australia if a plant malfunctions or topples over. And I instantly started picturing the phone calls of "My carnation fell over! Right off the desk! Send the guys in orange vests and hardhats! Quickly!"

Comments

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Hmm, that would work if "carnation" was the codename for something, but the only military thing with that name is a Russian tank (technically, howitzer), so maybe not. Unless it really is a secret codename and it's actually secret.

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