A Scripture Rewrite

[deird_lj]

Over the last few months quite a few people have complained to me about the "nasty evil old testament God who enjoys sending plagues and stuff". These comments have always struck me as slightly incorrect, but I could never put my finger on just what was wrong with them.
Until this morning, when I realised what it was:


Moses returned to the Lord and said, "Oh Lord, ever since I went to Pharaoh he has brought trouble upon the people, and you have not rescued your people at all."
Then the Lord said to Moses, "Return to Egypt and work on the pyramid-building, and when Pharaoh sees your Ghandi-like protest, he will surely relent and let you go."
And Moses said, "Oh Lord, will you not rain trouble on Pharaoh's kingdom until he releases us from slavery and lets us leave?"
But the Lord said, "What do you think I am? Heartless? Next you will be asking for plagues of locusts."
And Moses said to the Lord, "Well, now that you mention it... Couldn't you demonstrate your power to Pharaoh so that he realises that you are mightier than Ra and must be obeyed?"
But the Lord replied, "No. I must respect the belief systems of the Egyptians. To claim that I am superior to Ra would be downright rude. Now, return to your slavery and serve the Egyptians wholeheartedly."
And Moses said, "Thy will be done..."


Personally, I'd rather have the plagues.

Comments

[kerithave.livejournal.com]

To be perfectly honest, I REALLY don't get a lot of what went on in the old testament, and it really doesn't sit right with me in isolation, but to me it just boils down to the fact that I can trust a God who is nice enough and loves me enough to give His only son to die for me, and that is all I really need to know.

[taiba.livejournal.com]

I consider it mythology and folklore (Yes, I'm atheist).

I had a person that studied theology as an academic subject tell me that in the old testament, there are AT LEAST two Gods, one being El, god of Creation, one being Yaweh, God of War. So the israelites were still pagan for some time, appparently. I need to look into this more, so if you guys know of any good references that'd be awesome :-)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sabik_/]

I was under the impression that this was, at best, one of the theories...

In any case, the question of why Elohim looks plural (and possible polytheism) would be separate from the distinction between Elohim and Yahweh.

Then there's Genesis 6:1,2,4... nobody ever mentions Genesis 6:1,2,4...

η

[taiba.livejournal.com]

What's in Genesis 6:1,2, 4? I don't have my bible handy. I lent it to someone and they haven't given it back yet.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sabik_/]

1 When men began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them,
2 the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.
3 Then the LORD said, "My Spirit will not contend with [a] man forever, for he is mortal [b] ; his days will be a hundred and twenty years."

4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis%206:1-4;&version=31;
[a] Or My spirit will not remain in
[b] Or corrupt

[virtual-olav.livejournal.com]

The term 'sons of El' is attested in the tablets from Ugarit, and the Biblical 'sons of Elohim' presumably has a comparable meaning.

The reference was to celestial beings who stood below God Himself but above human beings ('sons of Adam'). Today we would call them angels, but that word is already used for a different Hebrew term.

Gen 6:1-4 attributes the existence of demigods - the nephilim ('giants' or 'fallen ones') and/or gibborim ('heroes') - to miscegenation between these celestials and mortals.

David's lament for Saul and Jonathan in 2 Sam 19-27 links both terms ("How have the mighty fallen!") and applies it to the death of kings.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sabik_/]

Hmm, demigods and hemidemigods?

I wonder, though, if Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God, does that mean that these sons of God were made not begotten?


η

[virtual-olav.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. That is the whole point. Many are called 'sons of God' in the Bible - made (like Adam [Luke 3:38]), adopted (King David) or proclaimed(all the peacemakers [Matt 5:9]). The creed says 'only-begotten' or 'unique' to assert that Jesus of Nazareth was the incarnation of the only Person to actually be the Son of God in a truly literal sense.

We can't be certain, though, that the writers of the Hebrew Bible (OT) shared this view, since they did not write down a lot of detail about what they thought of cosmology. The best description is probably Job 38:4-7, which reads: "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? ... When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted with joy?" (Parallel poetry here, hence morning stars = sons of God.)

If "In the beginning God created heaven and earth", then presumably the 'morning stars' were made along with the heavens since they were around to cheer at the making of the earth, and somehow involved with the making of humans in Gen 1:26 "And God said, 'Let is make humans in our image...'".

[webseer.livejournal.com]

Thats, all well and good, except for the Egyptians. Old Testement God appears to be the God of the Israelites, rather than Mankind. Thus, He appears really mean to everyone else.