The Menagerie
Jun. 22nd, 2008 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird_ljIf I make a joke about the Buffyverse raining cats and dogs, will it be funny? Or just really pathetic?
“One rainy day, a cat and a dog walked into a bar…”
Perhaps not.
But there really are a lot of cats and dogs in the Buffyverse. Really!
It’s just that most of them are metaphorical. People are referred to as cats or dogs – they don’t actually look like them (most of the time). So most of the references go un-noticed.
Being entirely too bored yesterday, I decided to notice them.
And I thought I’d share my findings with you lovely people. Here goes…
There are over a hundred references to cats and dogs in Buffy and Angel. In fact, 155 episodes out of a possible 254 use the words “cat”, “dog”, “puss”, “kitten”, or “puppy” at least once.
A quick list for you:
People and objects referred to as “dogs”
The Master, hotdogs, the Pack, the Three, Sven, Cordelia’s attacker in Halloween, Cordelia, Angel, Oz, Buffy, Willow, a PEZ dispenser option, Faith, Marmaduke, hellhounds, Spike, a guitar amp, Veruca, Buffy’s feet, Anya’s former victims, Gunn’s crew, Brad Konig, Giles, the male population of El Encanto, Wolfram and Hart, Gunn, Xander, the Trio, Sam & Riley, the zombie-ghost things, a universally recognised code, Connor’s reward, high school football players, Andrew, Anya, the Fang Gang, the Bringers, Corban Fries’ lawyer, and Nina.
People and objects referred to as “cats”
The Pack, Sid, Cordelia, random vampires, Giles, Oz, Buffy, Buffy’s shoes, Buffy’s hair, Faith, Cordelia’s acting competition, Doyle, Penn, Riley’s secret, a demon singing karaoke, crazy guy in Real Me, Xander, Denver, Darla, Riley, Joyce’s wig, Willow, fire, demon in Wrecked, possible contents of DMP burgers, Angel, Fred, Justine, gamblers in Vegas, Voynok demons, spider demons, Lorne’s audience, Dawn, Semkhet, a Potential, and the Conduit.
People and objects referred to as “puppies”
Jesse, a preferable option for Xander-possession, Angel, Giles, Buffy, Cordelia, hellhounds, toenail clippings, vampires, Spike, the ultimate good cause, something that doesn’t require Jonathan’s help, videos, a potential pet option for Angel, Willow’s laptop, Xander, Buffy’s new training room, Anya, alternate universes, a bribe (offered by Glory), the portal-opening book, Groo, Connor, something worthy of Anya’s sad noise, Dawn, the kind of visions Cordelia would like, and Angel’s soul.
People and objects referred to as “kittens”
Buffy, Drusilla, Xander, Harmony, the Chumash Indians, Spike, Team Jonathan, Riley, Joyce, the guide in Intervention, the Drokken from Pylea, Fred, a Lornette, Cordelia, Faith, prison, the Conduit, and the Fang Gang.
Like I said… quite a few.
Let’s look at some more specific examples. “Kitten” is a particularly interesting one, so we’ll start there.
Kittens
There are a few actual cats (or big cats) referred to a kittens. These were Catherine Madison’s cat, Miss Kitty Fantastico, Buffy’s desert guide, and the Conduit to the senior partners. Plus, of course, there’s the whole “kitten poker” thing: the idea of using kittens as currency is actually mentioned in five separate episodes.
Kittens are repeatedly mentioned as being harmless, or helpless.
For example:
On two occasions, hunting vampires (Spike and Angel) call “Here kitty, kitty…”
Angel’s hunting the Drokken. Spike’s hunting Buffy.
Buffy declares that Joyce’s dress is “sexy. It screams ‘randy sex kitten, buy me one drink and I’ll…’ Oh, wait. That’s not really good either.”
And all the other references? Let’s see…
It’s one of Lorne’s staple nicknames, of course. And all the others, bar one, are said by vampires. Evil vampires – Angel only starts using it when he loses his soul. And the one non-vampire? Warren, at the height of his villain-ness.
When used in this context, it’s pretty much always addressed to an attractive love interest. Which begs the question: what does Warren think of Buffy?
Moving on…
Cats
A lot of the ‘cat’ appearances are actually from different sayings.
Like:
Then there’s the nicknames:
“sourpuss” (Buffy, according to Xander), “copy-cat” (Penn, according to the cops), “fraidy-cat” (Xander, according to Harmony), “hell-cat” (Fred doing physics, according to her), “pixie cat” (Cordelia, according to Lorne), “sourpuss” again (Justine, according to Angel’s hallucination of Lorne), “pussycats” (the Las Vegas gamblers, according to a cardboard cut-out of Lorne) “copy-cat” (spider demon, according to Xander), “crazy cats” (Lorne’s imaginary audience), “top cat” (Angel, according to Lorne)
Again, notice how many of these are said by Lorne. The guy likes his nicknames.
There are a huge number of real cats either shown or mentioned, too.
Such as:
- the cat who gives birth to a litter of snakes
- Catherine Madison’s cat
- the cat who chases the Buffyrat
- Giles’ zombie cat
- Xander’s cat (“the hot plate’s out of commission – we think the cat peed on it”)
- the Doctor’s cat
- the cartoon cat Dawn watches on television
- Snowball the cat (causing trouble in Apocalypse Nowish)
- Semkhet (“puddy-tat to the world’s scariest six-year-old”)
- the Conduit
Cats are clearly on these people’s minds. Buffy’s vampire-slaying cover story is fighting cats (in Lie To Me), she’s worried she’ll end up “an old lady who can only live with cats” (in Living Conditions), Cordelia chooses a cat as her Halloween costume, the Fang Gang go for a drink at “The Cat And Fiddle”, Wesley decides to sing “something by Cat Stevens” at Caritas, Willow reads The Cat In The Hat, Angel is described as “caterwauling” in his sleep (in There’s No Place Like Plrtz Glrb), Xander suggests that what Buffy thought was Sid jumping on her face was just a cat, Gunn has cat eyes in Angel’s dream, and Angel knows for a fact that the story about ‘the girl, the cat, and the peanut butter’ is true (long story).
Also, look at these:
Cats tend to show up in dreams and metaphors.
Like the dream in Graduation Day: a cat turns into Faith, who turns back into a cat.
And a fair amount of Willow’s dream in Restless is very focused on Miss Kitty (“I think I should worry that we haven’t found her name.”).
And crazy people? Very into cats. Two of Glory’s victims mention cats: the man in Real Me (“That’s why I’m a cat!”), and Tara (“I told the cat. And now I bet my mother is sitting all alone.”).
We’ll come back to cats. For now, let’s move on.
Dogs
Let’s disregard all the hotdogs, corn dogs, Dodger dogs, dog-earred pages, doggy bags, dog and pony shows, and dog-food processing plants… (although there are a lot of them)
Instead, we’ll start by looking at two different phrases: “lapdog”, and “rabid dog who should be put down”.
And…
Dogs are basically either spineless, or in need of killing. They aren’t really seen in a very positive light.
Most of the dog references tend to involve werewolves, vampires, or other similar people. Oz and Nina are referred to, respectively, as “dog-boy” and “dog-girl” – mostly by Spike, but also by others (Nina also gets called “Fido”). Oz, in particular, constantly gets dog comparisons: the newspaper assumes “wild dog attacks”, Willow asks about “dogs sensing earthquakes” (in reference to Oz being restless), and he suggests that a “wacky cartoon dog” would be the most appropriate PEZ dispenser.
Angel and Spike are both called “bad dog!” by Drusilla, Doyle calls Spike “you dog” (and suggests “go fetch!”) and Wood calls Spike “dog” too (“That’s right, dog. Fight back!”).
The official theory of Principal Flutie involves “wild dogs” getting into his office, the hell-hounds tend to be called “devil dogs” or “killer prom dogs”, and Angel begins his attack on The Three with the phrase “Good dogs don’t bite!”
Another villain? Groofus – the Smile Time dog puppet.
There is one phrase which is almost exclusively used around Gunn’s crew, and around Angel:
Gunn and co. also tend to call each other “dog” much more than anyone else:
Cordelia’s favourite phrase, on the other hand, seems to be “the dog-faced boy” (or “girl”, depending).
She also points out that Buffy’s exchange student “could be dogly”, complains that her own is “like one of those dogs that you leave at the Grand Canyon on vacation”, and asks “are there any men who aren’t just dogs?”
Dogs tend to get used in codes, and excuses a fair bit. Like “Mad Dog Two” – who is either Andrew or Jonathan, we’re not quite sure.
Buffy asks if “husband” and “wife” are Sam and Riley’s code names “like Big Dog or Falcon”, while Lorne claims that “Fluffy – the dog you don’t have” is a universally recognised code for “I’m being held prisoner. Send help.”
A call from a “dog-walker” is used as a cover story for Dawn’s basement-zombie problem, Xander gets out of an uncomfortable conversation by going to get the non-ringing telephone (“You probably don’t hear – high pitched ring, ears like a dog.”), and Ben’s boss sarcastically suggests that he use “the dog ate your homework” as his next excuse.
Dogs are seen as obsessively begging (“You’re like a dog with a bone!”; “You’re like a small dog dancing for Snausages.”), cowardly (“Don’t be such a wiener dog.”), stupid (“Butt-munch here got his law degree at dog training school”), ruthless (“It’s dog eat dog, may the best man win.”), materialistic (“Congratulations. You’re an official capitalist running dog.”), and a fitting punishment for unfaithful men (“I’d wish he was a dog, or ugly, or in love with President McKinley, or something.”) or for disappointing sons (“…and has their remains scattered for the dogs.”). They’re definitely not good for any kind of compliment (“Well, thanks. I’d be flattered except for the Lassie being a dog part.”; “Yeah, that’s me. Reliable-dog-geyser person.”).
For all the negative associations, though, Buffyverse characters tend to like dogs.
Willow indentifies herself as a “dog person”; so does Angel. Buffy wanted to have a dog. Faith asked her mother for a dog (“something to love”). Riley’s family have dogs, and so do the Burkles. Mr Trick’s favourite comic strip is Marmaduke (“That’s my kind of dog.”), Oz’s band (Dingoes ate my baby) are named after a type of dog, Phil (in The Price) wants Angel Investigations to help find his dog, Nancy (in Beneath You) has a dog, Dawn has an “Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From My Dog” poster on her bedroom door, Spike likes dog-racing (and Manchester United), Gene wants to preserve “your dog and his favourite bone” forever, and Angel’s first conversation attempt with Tina starts with “Cute little doggie.”
And finally, look at these:
Next on the list, we have…
Puppies
Puppies are cute. Puppies are adorable. Puppies are everything that is good and pure in the world. Puppies are perfect.
Think I’m exaggerating?
Let’s take a look…
Willow is upset about Xander’s hyena problem. She’d much rather have Xander “possessed by a puppy, or some ducks”.
Want to demonstrate how evil Angel can be? Mention that he “nailed a puppy to a wall”.
Want to prove that he’s good again? Have him rescue a puppy, much to his soulless alter-ego’s disgust.
Puppies are sweet, devoted, and follow you around:
And the way they look at you:
They’re trustworthy:
harmless:
and fun:
They make excellent pets:
even better bribes:
and delicious snacks:
People who look sad are described as “looking like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy”, or “like you just had to put down your last puppy”.
Puppies, you see, are wonderful. And even demons are upset when puppies get hurt:
They’re on everyone’s must-have list:
Everyone’s.
I said everyone’s.
No, really. Everyone’s.
Puppies are always compared to fun things. Like videos:
training rooms:
escapes from Pylea:
and laptops:
Because they’re so cute, they make the perfect cover story:
They’re good for a fun family day out:
They also work well for defusing tense situations. Like if you’re dealing with lunatics intent on slaying their roommates:
If you have a soul? A nice, repenty soul? You might end up going to “The Big Puppy Rescue In The Sky”.
Puppies are nice. So a “box full of puppies”? Is probably a situation that can be handled, even without Jonathan’s help.
When your friends are throwing you a surprise birthday party, they’ll want you to be “a perky birthday puppy”.
And a puppy is always good for a quick analogy:
Strangely enough, pups? Not so nice:
Pups, you see, are a perversion of the true puppy goodness.
Puppies are the ultimate goal, in a way:
As I mentioned earlier, saving puppies is a good way to prove your heroism credentials:
So well is this known, in fact, that newly-good people wishing to rally the troops will use them to inspire people:
Like I said: puppies are wonderful. Here endeth the lesson.
The Menagerie
So, what have we learned?
Let’s see…
1) kittens are harmless
2) calling someone a kitten means you’re probably evil
3) cats make excellent metaphors
4) dogs are horrible, but make great code names
5) nice characters will always like dogs even though they're horrible
6) puppies are just perfect
Some of you may be tempted to look into combining the best elements of dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens, in an attempt to make the perfect animal. Please don’t. Remember, according to Giles’ book:
Try making a combo kittuppy, and you’ll just end up with school mascots getting eaten. Nobody wants that.
“One rainy day, a cat and a dog walked into a bar…”
Perhaps not.
But there really are a lot of cats and dogs in the Buffyverse. Really!
It’s just that most of them are metaphorical. People are referred to as cats or dogs – they don’t actually look like them (most of the time). So most of the references go un-noticed.
Being entirely too bored yesterday, I decided to notice them.
And I thought I’d share my findings with you lovely people. Here goes…
There are over a hundred references to cats and dogs in Buffy and Angel. In fact, 155 episodes out of a possible 254 use the words “cat”, “dog”, “puss”, “kitten”, or “puppy” at least once.
A quick list for you:
People and objects referred to as “dogs”
The Master, hotdogs, the Pack, the Three, Sven, Cordelia’s attacker in Halloween, Cordelia, Angel, Oz, Buffy, Willow, a PEZ dispenser option, Faith, Marmaduke, hellhounds, Spike, a guitar amp, Veruca, Buffy’s feet, Anya’s former victims, Gunn’s crew, Brad Konig, Giles, the male population of El Encanto, Wolfram and Hart, Gunn, Xander, the Trio, Sam & Riley, the zombie-ghost things, a universally recognised code, Connor’s reward, high school football players, Andrew, Anya, the Fang Gang, the Bringers, Corban Fries’ lawyer, and Nina.
People and objects referred to as “cats”
The Pack, Sid, Cordelia, random vampires, Giles, Oz, Buffy, Buffy’s shoes, Buffy’s hair, Faith, Cordelia’s acting competition, Doyle, Penn, Riley’s secret, a demon singing karaoke, crazy guy in Real Me, Xander, Denver, Darla, Riley, Joyce’s wig, Willow, fire, demon in Wrecked, possible contents of DMP burgers, Angel, Fred, Justine, gamblers in Vegas, Voynok demons, spider demons, Lorne’s audience, Dawn, Semkhet, a Potential, and the Conduit.
People and objects referred to as “puppies”
Jesse, a preferable option for Xander-possession, Angel, Giles, Buffy, Cordelia, hellhounds, toenail clippings, vampires, Spike, the ultimate good cause, something that doesn’t require Jonathan’s help, videos, a potential pet option for Angel, Willow’s laptop, Xander, Buffy’s new training room, Anya, alternate universes, a bribe (offered by Glory), the portal-opening book, Groo, Connor, something worthy of Anya’s sad noise, Dawn, the kind of visions Cordelia would like, and Angel’s soul.
People and objects referred to as “kittens”
Buffy, Drusilla, Xander, Harmony, the Chumash Indians, Spike, Team Jonathan, Riley, Joyce, the guide in Intervention, the Drokken from Pylea, Fred, a Lornette, Cordelia, Faith, prison, the Conduit, and the Fang Gang.
Like I said… quite a few.
Let’s look at some more specific examples. “Kitten” is a particularly interesting one, so we’ll start there.
Kittens
There are a few actual cats (or big cats) referred to a kittens. These were Catherine Madison’s cat, Miss Kitty Fantastico, Buffy’s desert guide, and the Conduit to the senior partners. Plus, of course, there’s the whole “kitten poker” thing: the idea of using kittens as currency is actually mentioned in five separate episodes.
Kittens are repeatedly mentioned as being harmless, or helpless.
For example:
“As soon as I get this chip out of my head, I’ll be a vampire again. But until then, I’m just as helpless as a kitten up a tree. So why don’t you sod off?”
“Oh, they were peaceful, all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens, till we came along.”
“I wasn’t exactly pining for a noisy visit from Wonder Jonathan And His Fluffy Battle Kittens.”
“She just said you look even cuter when you’re all weak and kitteny, and she better go solo or you’d get hurt. So welcome to the club. She’ll never let me go either.”
“You sure this isn’t just your way of trying to make me feel less – what are the words? – cute and weak and kittenish?”
“Kitteny.”
“Right. Much manlier.”
“You were in prison. Figured you were safe there.”
“Yeah, that’s prison. Safe as a kitten.”
On two occasions, hunting vampires (Spike and Angel) call “Here kitty, kitty…”
Angel’s hunting the Drokken. Spike’s hunting Buffy.
Buffy declares that Joyce’s dress is “sexy. It screams ‘randy sex kitten, buy me one drink and I’ll…’ Oh, wait. That’s not really good either.”
And all the other references? Let’s see…
“I’m sorry, kitten. It’s just this manuscript.” (Spike to Drusilla)
“Don’t fret, kitten. Mummy’s here.” (Drusilla – under a love spell – to Xander)
“And that means you too, Harmony. You’re an indoor kitty now.” (Spike to Harmony)
“Yeah, I’m picking up on the ‘betwixt and between, got to find my corner of the sky’ vibe loud and clear, kitten.” (Lorne to Harmony)
“And some lip balm wouldn’t hurt either, kitten.” (Lorne to Fred)
“Wow. That almost hurt, kitten.” (Warren to Buffy)
“Oh, thanks. Thanks, kitten.” (Lorne to a Lornette)
“Don’t be jealous, kitten. She’s just the warm-up. I’ll save the good stuff for you.” (Angelus to Cordelia)
“Oh, don’t tell me! The rousing stiff upper lip speech. ‘Rah rah! Good over evil! Do what must be done! Hang in there, kitten, it’s almost Friday!’ Is that what the scraggly little ponce armed you with to fight the big bad bogeyman?” (Angelus to Faith)
“I know, kitten.” (Lorne to Fred)
“Whoo! Hey, kittens! Oh, that dance floor is smoking!” (Lorne to the Fang Gang)
“Oh. Such a hungry little kitty. Meow.” (Drusilla to Spike)
“Whiskey!”
“Oh, God bless you, kitten. I was just about to suggest the same thing.” (Lorne to Fred)
It’s one of Lorne’s staple nicknames, of course. And all the others, bar one, are said by vampires. Evil vampires – Angel only starts using it when he loses his soul. And the one non-vampire? Warren, at the height of his villain-ness.
When used in this context, it’s pretty much always addressed to an attractive love interest. Which begs the question: what does Warren think of Buffy?
Moving on…
Cats
A lot of the ‘cat’ appearances are actually from different sayings.
Like:
“Cat got his tongue?”
“And if Giles wants to go after the fiend who murdered his girlfriend, I say, ‘Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!’”
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that’s factually true.”
“Well, I didn’t at first because Riley said not to. And then ‘meow’, cat out of the bag, and I guess I just forgot that he didn’t know.”
“Cat got your tongue, Merl?”
“I don’t have a tongue.”
“Oh.”
“Curiousity killed the cat.”
“Theory number five: cat burgers.”
“Okay, first with the lap dance, now with the cat fight. Hey, you wanna get drunk and barf next?”
“If she regains consciousness. Girl’s been gutted like a catfish.”
“Right. We can play cat and mouse all night. Or I could wedgie you unconscious and be done with it.”
Then there’s the nicknames:
“sourpuss” (Buffy, according to Xander), “copy-cat” (Penn, according to the cops), “fraidy-cat” (Xander, according to Harmony), “hell-cat” (Fred doing physics, according to her), “pixie cat” (Cordelia, according to Lorne), “sourpuss” again (Justine, according to Angel’s hallucination of Lorne), “pussycats” (the Las Vegas gamblers, according to a cardboard cut-out of Lorne) “copy-cat” (spider demon, according to Xander), “crazy cats” (Lorne’s imaginary audience), “top cat” (Angel, according to Lorne)
Again, notice how many of these are said by Lorne. The guy likes his nicknames.
There are a huge number of real cats either shown or mentioned, too.
Such as:
- the cat who gives birth to a litter of snakes
- Catherine Madison’s cat
- the cat who chases the Buffyrat
- Giles’ zombie cat
- Xander’s cat (“the hot plate’s out of commission – we think the cat peed on it”)
- the Doctor’s cat
- the cartoon cat Dawn watches on television
- Snowball the cat (causing trouble in Apocalypse Nowish)
- Semkhet (“puddy-tat to the world’s scariest six-year-old”)
- the Conduit
Cats are clearly on these people’s minds. Buffy’s vampire-slaying cover story is fighting cats (in Lie To Me), she’s worried she’ll end up “an old lady who can only live with cats” (in Living Conditions), Cordelia chooses a cat as her Halloween costume, the Fang Gang go for a drink at “The Cat And Fiddle”, Wesley decides to sing “something by Cat Stevens” at Caritas, Willow reads The Cat In The Hat, Angel is described as “caterwauling” in his sleep (in There’s No Place Like Plrtz Glrb), Xander suggests that what Buffy thought was Sid jumping on her face was just a cat, Gunn has cat eyes in Angel’s dream, and Angel knows for a fact that the story about ‘the girl, the cat, and the peanut butter’ is true (long story).
Also, look at these:
“Playing with him as a cat plays with a mouse.”
“Oz does not eat people. It’s more werewolf play. You know, I bat you around a little bit – like a cat toy.”
“When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought ‘Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she’d wear cats strapped to her feet.’”
“Where you going?”
“To go kill a cat on my head.”
“No mirrors.”
“She looked ridiculous. She looked like cat-woman taking out the cat-trash.”
“I’m finally free to go out in the world and make my own mark in the world.”
“We had a cat that used to do that.”
“I don’t sing.”
“Neither does Mordar the Bentback! That cat’s a foghorn on two legs.”
“You Denver?”
“No other cat but me.”
“We’re researching her now to see if maybe she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she was a vampire cat with nine lives, or something.”
“You know what he’s like? He’s like a cat. You know, a big jungle cat. How come I’m not like that? It’s just so cool.”
“Where do they get the CAT scan from? I mean, do they test it on cats, or does the machine sort of look like a cat?”
“I don’t know, Buffy. I think I’ll look like I have a cat on my head.”
“But a very well-groomed cat.”
“The flames are lovely. They dance, and the fire licks like a cat.”
“I’d rather sit through a junior high school production of Cats!”
“Aw, Dawnie, don’t. It was probably a cat, or something like that.”
“Like a cat. Can’t hear you. But I’m starting to feel you when you’re near.”
“Suffering cats!”
(in reference to Fred’s growling) “Vampire. You’re not in ‘Cats’.”
“Come on. Do your business so I can go home. (sigh) I could have gotten a cat, but no…”
“Turns out they have nine lives.”
“Like a cat?”
“Holy cats, here it comes again.”
“Holy cats, that was terrifying.”
“I have 37 cats, and I’ve just changed all their names to Jasmine!”
Cats tend to show up in dreams and metaphors.
Like the dream in Graduation Day: a cat turns into Faith, who turns back into a cat.
And a fair amount of Willow’s dream in Restless is very focused on Miss Kitty (“I think I should worry that we haven’t found her name.”).
And crazy people? Very into cats. Two of Glory’s victims mention cats: the man in Real Me (“That’s why I’m a cat!”), and Tara (“I told the cat. And now I bet my mother is sitting all alone.”).
We’ll come back to cats. For now, let’s move on.
Dogs
Let’s disregard all the hotdogs, corn dogs, Dodger dogs, dog-earred pages, doggy bags, dog and pony shows, and dog-food processing plants… (although there are a lot of them)
Instead, we’ll start by looking at two different phrases: “lapdog”, and “rabid dog who should be put down”.
“It made me sick to my stomach seeing you being the Slayer’s lapdog.”
“Hey Brad, who’d have thought when you were beating up kids in gym class, you’d end up Harmony’s lapdog?”
“I didn’t come here to take anything away from you, but I’m not gonna be your little lapdog, either.”
“I’m your faithful dog. You bring me scraps.”
“All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big dumb dog!”
And…
“Oh, you mean ‘cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?”
“No, I’m not a friend. I’m a rabid dog who should be shot! But there are forces at work here! Dark, incomprehensible forces!”
“Maybe you’d come around. Maybe be a little nicer. Stop treating me like your dog. But now I see it’s you. You’re the dog. Who needs to be put down.”
“Nobody trusts you, Faith. You’re a rabid dog who should have been put down years ago!”
“The entire population of El Encanto went insane… men roaming the streets like rabid dogs.”
Dogs are basically either spineless, or in need of killing. They aren’t really seen in a very positive light.
Most of the dog references tend to involve werewolves, vampires, or other similar people. Oz and Nina are referred to, respectively, as “dog-boy” and “dog-girl” – mostly by Spike, but also by others (Nina also gets called “Fido”). Oz, in particular, constantly gets dog comparisons: the newspaper assumes “wild dog attacks”, Willow asks about “dogs sensing earthquakes” (in reference to Oz being restless), and he suggests that a “wacky cartoon dog” would be the most appropriate PEZ dispenser.
Angel and Spike are both called “bad dog!” by Drusilla, Doyle calls Spike “you dog” (and suggests “go fetch!”) and Wood calls Spike “dog” too (“That’s right, dog. Fight back!”).
The official theory of Principal Flutie involves “wild dogs” getting into his office, the hell-hounds tend to be called “devil dogs” or “killer prom dogs”, and Angel begins his attack on The Three with the phrase “Good dogs don’t bite!”
Another villain? Groofus – the Smile Time dog puppet.
There is one phrase which is almost exclusively used around Gunn’s crew, and around Angel:
“No, no, no. Dog him.”
“I will dog you every night for the rest of your very short life until you bring me what I want.”
“Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me too.”
“You’re just gonna bird dog the kid ‘til he gets weepy and pulls a prodigal?”
“Lock it down out there. Dog the hatches!”
Gunn and co. also tend to call each other “dog” much more than anyone else:
“Look at you, dog! You haven’t aged a bit!”
“You’ve been moving on up, dog.”
“The big dog better close the deal.”
“That’s right, monkey boys. Don’t mess with the big dog!”
“You’re lucky we’re on the same side, dogs.”
Cordelia’s favourite phrase, on the other hand, seems to be “the dog-faced boy” (or “girl”, depending).
She also points out that Buffy’s exchange student “could be dogly”, complains that her own is “like one of those dogs that you leave at the Grand Canyon on vacation”, and asks “are there any men who aren’t just dogs?”
Dogs tend to get used in codes, and excuses a fair bit. Like “Mad Dog Two” – who is either Andrew or Jonathan, we’re not quite sure.
Buffy asks if “husband” and “wife” are Sam and Riley’s code names “like Big Dog or Falcon”, while Lorne claims that “Fluffy – the dog you don’t have” is a universally recognised code for “I’m being held prisoner. Send help.”
A call from a “dog-walker” is used as a cover story for Dawn’s basement-zombie problem, Xander gets out of an uncomfortable conversation by going to get the non-ringing telephone (“You probably don’t hear – high pitched ring, ears like a dog.”), and Ben’s boss sarcastically suggests that he use “the dog ate your homework” as his next excuse.
Dogs are seen as obsessively begging (“You’re like a dog with a bone!”; “You’re like a small dog dancing for Snausages.”), cowardly (“Don’t be such a wiener dog.”), stupid (“Butt-munch here got his law degree at dog training school”), ruthless (“It’s dog eat dog, may the best man win.”), materialistic (“Congratulations. You’re an official capitalist running dog.”), and a fitting punishment for unfaithful men (“I’d wish he was a dog, or ugly, or in love with President McKinley, or something.”) or for disappointing sons (“…and has their remains scattered for the dogs.”). They’re definitely not good for any kind of compliment (“Well, thanks. I’d be flattered except for the Lassie being a dog part.”; “Yeah, that’s me. Reliable-dog-geyser person.”).
For all the negative associations, though, Buffyverse characters tend to like dogs.
Willow indentifies herself as a “dog person”; so does Angel. Buffy wanted to have a dog. Faith asked her mother for a dog (“something to love”). Riley’s family have dogs, and so do the Burkles. Mr Trick’s favourite comic strip is Marmaduke (“That’s my kind of dog.”), Oz’s band (Dingoes ate my baby) are named after a type of dog, Phil (in The Price) wants Angel Investigations to help find his dog, Nancy (in Beneath You) has a dog, Dawn has an “Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From My Dog” poster on her bedroom door, Spike likes dog-racing (and Manchester United), Gene wants to preserve “your dog and his favourite bone” forever, and Angel’s first conversation attempt with Tina starts with “Cute little doggie.”
And finally, look at these:
“Watch the movie. Well – unless it’s about a dog, or Chevy Chase.”
“We need some alternate ghost theories. What do we know?”
“Dog spit is cleaner than human.”
“Besides that?”
“One night after supper, the lead dog turned up a snowshoe rabbit…”
“If you can’t, love becomes your master, and you’re just its dog.”
“Yeah, I’ll play watchdog. I don’t really get it, though.”
“Ever had a dog?”
“What?”
“I did. Rusty. Irish setter. A dog’s friendship is stronger than reason, stronger than its own sense of self-preservation. Buffy is like a dog. And hey – before you can say Jack Robinson, you’ll get to see me kill her like one.”
“Number one? No. I gotta go with hound dog.”
“Me too. That’s a great song. I mean, Elvis, what a guy.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Just cooling her dogs like the rest of us.”
“Now go on out there, lie like dogs, and have a wonderful time.”
“The Key is also susceptible to necromanced animal detection, particularly those of canine or serpent construct.”
“Probably some silly ritual with an enchanted prairie dog or something.”
“You should get a yard dog, or something.”
“Can I say ‘dawg’?”
“You kill that freak and you’re getting a big reward.”
“You mean it?”
“Hoo doggy!”
“It’s gated, armed guards, infrared surveillance, the works.”
“The universe don’t seem to be handing out breaks to the underdog lately.”
“Do the Bringers sweat?”
“Actually, I think they pant. Like dogs.”
Next on the list, we have…
Puppies
Puppies are cute. Puppies are adorable. Puppies are everything that is good and pure in the world. Puppies are perfect.
Think I’m exaggerating?
Let’s take a look…
Willow is upset about Xander’s hyena problem. She’d much rather have Xander “possessed by a puppy, or some ducks”.
Want to demonstrate how evil Angel can be? Mention that he “nailed a puppy to a wall”.
Want to prove that he’s good again? Have him rescue a puppy, much to his soulless alter-ego’s disgust.
Puppies are sweet, devoted, and follow you around:
“Like Jesse. Did you see him last night? Following me around like a little puppy dog.”
“Look who’s talking. Look who has Anya following him around like a lovesick puppy.”
“She’s got the big puppy love.”
“So loyal and loving – like a puppy dog.”
“Crazy little lust puppies, aren’t they?”
And the way they look at you:
“Having you constantly poking around, making little puppy dog eyes at me…”
“He can’t be anywhere near young Miss Puppy Eyes without endangering them both.”
“That. The look. The happy puppy look. Makes it harder.”
They’re trustworthy:
“Gave her the puppy dog ‘I’m all tortured’ act. Keeps her off my back when I feed!”
harmless:
“Now I’m just a big fluffy puppy with bad teeth.”
“Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn’t chase the other puppies anymore.”
and fun:
“Can I play with the puppy?”
They make excellent pets:
“We’ll start small. Keep it simple. How would you like a puppy?”
even better bribes:
“There’s ice cream and puppydogs in it for you if you start singin’.”
and delicious snacks:
“I’ve named her: Sunshine. Open wide… Come on, love. You need to eat something to keep your strength up.”
People who look sad are described as “looking like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy”, or “like you just had to put down your last puppy”.
Puppies, you see, are wonderful. And even demons are upset when puppies get hurt:
“Wait! That gets your sad noise? People’s lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?”
They’re on everyone’s must-have list:
“And a boat. No, wait – I don’t mean a boat. I mean a puppy. Or a child. I have a list somewhere.”
Everyone’s.
“Although, for the first time I’m glad my parents didn’t let me have a puppy.”
I said everyone’s.
“I know that didn’t sound very good, but he is. A puppy dog. A sexy, well-built, go-all-night puppy dog. Okay, that sounded worse.”
No, really. Everyone’s.
“I hear you were a good little puppy for Dracula.”
Puppies are always compared to fun things. Like videos:
“Got plenty of chick-and-British-guy flicks too. These puppies should last us all night.”
training rooms:
“Let’s test this puppy out. Think you can take me?”
escapes from Pylea:
“You got the book? Good. Hold that puppy tight, okay?”
and laptops:
“Let’s get scanning. I want to see this puppy go.”
Because they’re so cute, they make the perfect cover story:
“You have a scar.”
“Yeah. Right… angry puppy.”
“Yeah, we came to warn you about the… angry puppy…”
They’re good for a fun family day out:
“Then we can go look at the puppies.”
“Ach. It’s so awful. The puppy mills, and keeping them in cages, people poking at them all day.”
“Yeah, but puppies…”
They also work well for defusing tense situations. Like if you’re dealing with lunatics intent on slaying their roommates:
“Of course. It makes sense now. But you better show those bad puppies to Giles before you do anything – just to be sure.”
“Absolutely. I don’t want to do anything crazy.”
If you have a soul? A nice, repenty soul? You might end up going to “The Big Puppy Rescue In The Sky”.
Puppies are nice. So a “box full of puppies”? Is probably a situation that can be handled, even without Jonathan’s help.
When your friends are throwing you a surprise birthday party, they’ll want you to be “a perky birthday puppy”.
And a puppy is always good for a quick analogy:
“Alternate universes don’t stay put. Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it… which is a weird image, and you should all just forget it.”
Strangely enough, pups? Not so nice:
“Only a sick pup would let Xander get away, no matter what her friends said.”
“See who’s been stocking up on hellhound snausages. I hear those pups will do anything for a tasty treat.”
“…that patricidal pup of yours. Hell, I’d take him out myself if I wasn’t just a crappy hallucination.”
Pups, you see, are a perversion of the true puppy goodness.
Puppies are the ultimate goal, in a way:
“We’re rolling in puppies. Right?”
“Never do I have the happy frolicking puppy visions.”
“There’s definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn’t usually lead to hugs and puppies.”
As I mentioned earlier, saving puppies is a good way to prove your heroism credentials:
“Guess he saves a lot of girls, huh?”
“Girls, guys… puppies. He’s pretty much an equal opportunity saver.”
So well is this known, in fact, that newly-good people wishing to rally the troops will use them to inspire people:
“Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let’s annihilate them. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let’s fight that evil!”
Like I said: puppies are wonderful. Here endeth the lesson.
The Menagerie
So, what have we learned?
Let’s see…
1) kittens are harmless
2) calling someone a kitten means you’re probably evil
3) cats make excellent metaphors
4) dogs are horrible, but make great code names
5) nice characters will always like dogs even though they're horrible
6) puppies are just perfect
Some of you may be tempted to look into combining the best elements of dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens, in an attempt to make the perfect animal. Please don’t. Remember, according to Giles’ book:
“Noah rejected hyenas from the Ark because he thought they were an evil impure mixture of dogs and cats.”
Try making a combo kittuppy, and you’ll just end up with school mascots getting eaten. Nobody wants that.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-22 06:35 pm (UTC)Nice job.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-23 10:54 pm (UTC)I wasn't aware that either term was used so much in the 'verse.
Neither was I! I just started searching scripts out of idle curiousity, thinking I'd probably end up finding a few "puppy" references about Angel, and maybe something about a cat. And then they just kept appearing...
no subject
Date: 2008-06-23 03:02 pm (UTC)Another dog reference: Willow also has a dog plushie (http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Ashelin/Overig/buffy419_218.jpg), as seen in 'New Moon Rising'.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-23 10:56 pm (UTC)They do?!
That's so cool!
Missed the plushie - I was mostly going off the transcripts, and I don't think they mentioned that one. Thanks for pointing it out!
Lists are so fun...
no subject
Date: 2008-06-26 06:45 pm (UTC)That's so cool!
Yeah, I just noticed it the other day when I decided to look for licence plate numbers and compared them with other sources (http://www.fangedfour.com/travelogue/id3.htm) on the internet. I was more like, "Hmm, that's kinda... odd. In a funny sort of way." Then I just started noticing in the series that there were actually even more with the same number!
Missed the plushie - I was mostly going off the transcripts, and I don't think they mentioned that one. Thanks for pointing it out!
No problem. :) Most things I notice when I'm bored and decide to look through screencaps for little things. Licence plate numbers, book titles (Oz has a copy of 'Eagle in the sky' by Wilbur Smith among his books — "a thriller which combines both combat action and romance to tell the story of a rich jet fighter pilot, who becomes involved in Israel's war for national survival, after he falls in love with a beautiful Israeli writer"), names on posters and what they refer to... It's pretty cool, and often I find myself giving silent kudos to the set designers for all the detail they put in their work.
Another dog reference? (I hope you're not tired of these and/or me yet, haha.) There's a bronze lamp with a dog decoration (http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Ashelin/Overig/wildheart649.jpg) in Oz's room!
2con654
Date: 2009-06-07 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 02:15 am (UTC)Try making a combo kittuppy, and you’ll just end up with school mascots getting eaten.
All mascots tremble in the presence of a Kuppy.
Very nice darlin', and very thorough, as always. I love some of the quotes you threw in there.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 04:10 am (UTC)This thing must have taken you ages.
It did, rather. I wasn't expecting it to: I thought maybe I'd get a few "dog" and "puppy" references for Angel, and maybe some stuff about Miss Kitty Fantastico. But it just kept coming...