Could you at least check your apostrophes?

[deird_lj]

When I become undisputed ruler of all mankind, I'm going to create a law saying that all engineers have to undertake a three year course in English (or the language of their choice) before being allowed to write reports.

Until then, I'll just have to be content with the following public announcement.

Attention Engineers, And Other People Who Don't Know How To Write Things Properly:

1) If you mis-spell words, or mis-use grammar, it is noticeable. We can tell.


2) If the documents you've given me have lots of spelling issues, I'm going to think that:
a) you didn't realise you'd done anything incorrectly. In other words, you're stupid, uneducated or didn't pay attention in school.
b) you didn't re-read the document before you handed it to me. In other words, you're not very good at checking to make sure your data is correct.
or
c) you simply didn't care about the errors in what you'd written. In other words, you're not very enthusiastic about what you're working on.

None of these are qualities I look for in an engineering team.


3) You are, of course, correct in assuming that most of the engineers in this department don't really notice spelling, grammar, or anything resembling good communication. And no, they don't really care if you get it right.
There are, however, some of us who do care. The picky, meticulous, and completely anal group.

Question: If someone walks into the department carrying forty documents, exactly like yours, that all need to be gone through with a fine tooth-comb, who do you think will get asked to go through them?
Strangely enough, this job usually gets given to the picky, meticulous, and completely anal people. Remember them? Yep. They're the ones who will cringe every time you spell it "loose" instead of "lose".

And yes - we will evaluate your documents more harshly just to spite you.


And now, I'll leave you with one final point:
4) THE WORD "IT'S" IS NOT A POSSESSIVE PRONOUN.

Comments

[taiba.livejournal.com]

*aherm*

As Evil Overlady, I have already granted you the post of "Enforcer"

:-p

Rest assured, you are more than welcome to enforce this idea.

[deird1]

Many thanks.

And yes... you are indeed Evil Overlady. Until, that is, I overthrow you. *looks innocent*

[taiba.livejournal.com]

*glare*

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

every time you spell it "loose" instead of "lose".

This seems to suddenly be all over the place, and it really annoys me, too.

And as for the use of what is known in Britain as the "Greengrocers' Apostophe"...

Do you recognise that description? It is from signs outside shops with things on them like 'nice peach's' 'Carrot's reduced' and so on.

[deird1]

Uh-huh. Greengrocers' Apostrophes are rife in my workplace. Didn't any of these people listen during primary school?

May I add one more?

[swellen.livejournal.com]

5) You should be aware that saying, "Relax - nearly everyone spells it that way. Language evolves, you know," will make me dream up imaginative ways of killing you. If there's a way to choke someone to death with a misused apostrophe you can be sure that I will not rest until I've found it.

Re: May I add one more?

[roccondilrinon.livejournal.com]

I am so quoting that line.

Re: May I add one more?

[swellen.livejournal.com]

You are welcome to quote it... no copyright as yet.

You know, it's really quite stressful to reply to a post about grammar and punctuation. How stupid would I look if I mis-typed something?? I'll just check this again very, very carefully...

Re: May I add one more?

[deird1]

Heh. I know the problem: you should have seen how many times I re-checked this post before deciding it was finished...

Re: May I add one more?

[deird1]

I totally agree...

[taiba.livejournal.com]

Stathala.

Theonomitar.

Themoter.

Injerys.

Ingrediance.

Retardt stand.

Bioligy

Austrolegy

Gage

These are just some of the creative spellings I have found over the past few days at yr7 level.

[deird1]

Aah! My eyes! My eyes!

[padawanspider.livejournal.com]

Ugh. When you finish beating Australia into submission, please, please come over to the States. At least send a few dozen minions.

[deird1]

Absolutely. Feel like leading one of my minion hordes?

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Computer types are just as bad. There's a guy who used to work for me who was proud of the fact that he hadn't read a book since the day he got out of school. **shudders**

[deird1]

Proud? Oh dear...
*shudders along with you*

[immer-am-lesen.livejournal.com]

I love Terry Pratchett's gag about the greengrocer in 'Going Postal'...

His shop sign reads:
No.1 A. Parker & Son's
Greengrocer's
High Clas's Fruit and Vegetable's

and when he speaks...
"Be with you in ju'st one moment, s'ir, I'm ju'st-"

:-)

[washa-way.livejournal.com]

I wonder... do these engineers mind when people's calculations are full of arithmetical errors that they didn't bother to check?

[deird1]

Apparently not :(
You'd think they'd understand the similarity...

[deird1]

Hee! I love Pratchett!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sabik_/]

Or, as esr puts it (http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/hacker-howto.html): While sloppy writing does not invariably mean sloppy thinking, we've generally found the correlation to be strong — and we have no use for sloppy thinkers.

η

[deird1]

Nice! And yes - that's exactly what I mean.

[faymeadows.livejournal.com]

Contributing an analogy to the cause. :)

Getting the spelling/grammar right in those documents is like taking care of your grooming and personal hygiene before a job interview. Applicants who haven't showered or brushed their teeth for a week probably won't get hired.

[deird1]

Exactly what I was trying to say - and you expressed it so very nicely.

For some reason, these people seem to think that presentation doesn't matter...