round and round in circles...
Nov. 18th, 2008 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird_ljMy attitude to the whole going-to-England thing tends to go in circles.
I’ll start off with
Relaxed Happiness
…in which I am generally content, and confident that I’m going to go, and it’ll all be fine, and I’ll have a great time.
This stage is fun while it lasts, but rapidly moves into
Doubt
…because, of course, there’s a big possibility that I won’t get to go. Especially if I can’t find a job in the next month or so.
Once this stage gets going, I end up in
Depression
…when I am completely and utterly convinced that I will be at least 70 before I get to see England.
This stage, happily, doesn’t generally last very long. It soon becomes
Determination
…to get there no matter what - even if it involves working in a bar, or even not working at all! I’ll sit on the streets and beg for money – as long as those streets are vaguely British!
Unfortunately, I’m not quite as carefree as all that. So this stage quickly turns into
Rationality
…because it would be incredibly dumb for me to travel halfway round the world without having a job beforehand.
So, instead of that, I move on a stage into
Organisation
…at which point I start frantically putting together job applications, and emails to potential employers, and so forth.
This stage could be really useful, but almost immediately turns into
Blind Panic
…about the entire situation. After all, if it works, then I will, two or three months from now, be on the other side of the world. Where I know almost no-one. And everything is strange, and scary, and different. AND I’M DOING THIS STUPID MOVING-ROUND-THE-WORLD THING PURELY SO THAT I CAN BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. WHICH IS INSANELY STUPID. I AM ENTIRELY MAD.
Thankfully, I eventually get over this stage, and go back to the Relaxed Happiness.
Right now, I’m stuck in the middle of Depression. I’ve spent the morning convinced that I’m not going to get a job – not ever – and it’s all entirely pointless.
But I think I’m going to see if I can skip a couple of stages, and go straight into the job-hunting bit. That’s much more productive, really.
*rushes off to email railway people*
I’ll start off with
Relaxed Happiness
…in which I am generally content, and confident that I’m going to go, and it’ll all be fine, and I’ll have a great time.
This stage is fun while it lasts, but rapidly moves into
Doubt
…because, of course, there’s a big possibility that I won’t get to go. Especially if I can’t find a job in the next month or so.
Once this stage gets going, I end up in
Depression
…when I am completely and utterly convinced that I will be at least 70 before I get to see England.
This stage, happily, doesn’t generally last very long. It soon becomes
Determination
…to get there no matter what - even if it involves working in a bar, or even not working at all! I’ll sit on the streets and beg for money – as long as those streets are vaguely British!
Unfortunately, I’m not quite as carefree as all that. So this stage quickly turns into
Rationality
…because it would be incredibly dumb for me to travel halfway round the world without having a job beforehand.
So, instead of that, I move on a stage into
Organisation
…at which point I start frantically putting together job applications, and emails to potential employers, and so forth.
This stage could be really useful, but almost immediately turns into
Blind Panic
…about the entire situation. After all, if it works, then I will, two or three months from now, be on the other side of the world. Where I know almost no-one. And everything is strange, and scary, and different. AND I’M DOING THIS STUPID MOVING-ROUND-THE-WORLD THING PURELY SO THAT I CAN BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. WHICH IS INSANELY STUPID. I AM ENTIRELY MAD.
Thankfully, I eventually get over this stage, and go back to the Relaxed Happiness.
Right now, I’m stuck in the middle of Depression. I’ve spent the morning convinced that I’m not going to get a job – not ever – and it’s all entirely pointless.
But I think I’m going to see if I can skip a couple of stages, and go straight into the job-hunting bit. That’s much more productive, really.
*rushes off to email railway people*
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no subject
Date: 2008-11-18 02:22 am (UTC)do i want to live in japan or move onwards?
i go from sedate to irrational to depressed to angry then elated *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-11-18 02:24 am (UTC)