Romantic Silence

[deird_lj]

So, along with the whole enemies in love thing, I think I've figured out another thing that turns me into a rabid shipper...

At least one of the pair cannot say "I love you".

It can be because they've never said it before, because they're completely screwed up, because they've had bad experiences saying it in the past, or because there's an excellent external reason (...such as being in a relationship with someone else) why they can't.
But, for whatever reason, they can't talk about "love".

This is true for most of the people I love seeing in relationships: House (with Cuddy), Mal Reynolds (with Inara), Aeryn Sun (with Crichton), Wes (with Lilah, or with Fred), Angel (with Darla), and (sorry, old-style Who fans) the Doctor (with Rose).
All those people have major issues - with relationships in general, and especially with this whole "I love you" thing.

The same is also true of Niles Crane (how do you tell someone you love her when you're both in relationships with other people?), Sam Carter (stupid military and its stupid rules), and Jack in While You Were Sleeping (when the woman you love is engaged to your brother).

And it's definitely true for Buffy Summers.

It's weird, because along with the whole thing of loving characters who can't talk about love, I get really annoyed when characters do.
And, in Lie To Me, we have this conversation:

"Do you love me?"
"I love you. I'm not sure I trust you."

...which was supposed to be all deep and meaningful, but was slightly marred by the fact that as soon as Buffy said "I love you" I started yelling at the screen: "Hah! You do not, you silly silly person!"

This isn't because I don't like Buffy/Angel. My reaction would pretty much have been the same no matter who the couple was.
I'm so very used to dealing with couples who won't say anything, and looking for subtle actions, gestures, facial expressions, pauses, and so on, that a blatant statement of "I love you" leaves me not believing a word they say.

Whereas, in the case of Buffy/Spike...

I have no problem whatsoever with Spike constantly running around trying to convince Buffy he's in love with her. One person in the relationship doing that is fine, as long as the other one...
um...
kisses him, tells him she trusts him more than anyone else, hangs out in his crypt, kisses him some more, has very exciting sex with him, keeps trying to break up with him and then changing her mind, gets jealous of him, looks after him, talks to him, feeds him, rescues him, depends on him, spends hours cuddling him, refuses to be without him, protects him, has every single person who sees them together commenting on how much they're into each other and how "hot" they are together and how much they rely on each other...
...and still can't bring herself to actually mention that she might possibly maybe be in love with him.

And really, they did an excellent job of making me all shippy. Had Buffy said "I love you" to Spike earlier on, it would have provoked the same reaction as the whole Buffy/Angel thing: "Hah! You moron! Of course you don't love him! You're still in love with Riley!"

...okay, not Riley.

But you get the point.

Whereas, by having Buffy not say anything, over and over, until the very last episode, the writers ensured that I would keep shipping Buffy/Spike pretty much forever.
Clever, clever writers.



Questions? Comments?

Comments

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I don't know, this wouldn't be a hard-and-fast rule for me, necessarily. But it makes a good bit of sense. Whenever two of the people have said "I love you", it's generally either a) so cheesy and sappy that you're bored to tears or b) totally untrue.

This can be circumvented, however, in the case of two "I love yous" canceled out by a tragic end to the relationship: for instance, I find Willow and Tara a wonderful and adorable and amazing couple, and even though of course Tara's death made me very sad, it also made the show interesting. I don't particularly understand people who think she shouldn't have died; yes, I love Tara and it's a sad thing, but I like it being sad, y'know?

This rule can also be applied to Wesley and Fred. Maybe they don't both say I love you, but they have their happysappy moment, which Joss makes interesting through Fred being taken over by Illyria and essentially dying.

And also for Xander and Anya: they're interesting for most of the years of their relationship because they quarrel and bicker, but when they seem all happysappy nearer to the wedding, it can only be made interesting by the wedding not happening. I mean, how boring would it have been to have the wedding go through perfectly, without a hitch, most beautiful day of their lives? Something has to ruin it for us to stay tuned.

I do like fluff. But it should be tempered by angst, methinks.

[deird1]

Wow. You just said everything I think, much better than me.
*claps excitedly*

I don't particularly understand people who think she shouldn't have died; yes, I love Tara and it's a sad thing, but I like it being sad, y'know?

Agreed. It's sad, but it's awfully good for the story.

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Wow. You just said everything I think, much better than me.

Yay! Fannish minds think alike.