feline concepts of revenge
Jun. 17th, 2008 08:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird_ljIf anyone wants to claim that animals don't understand the concept of "cause and effect", feel free to borrow Elf for a few weeks. And I'll sit here and laugh at you.
My cat was annoyed with me this morning, because he wanted more bikkies. I was operating under the quite ludicrous assumption that he had enough bikkies to eat, simply because I could see a bowl full of bikkies, right there on the floor.
Stupid idea. He didn't want those bikkies. They'd been there for hours. He wanted fresh bikkies.
So he meowed. And meowed. And meowed some more.
(Cause: annoyingly old bikkies. Effect: lots of noise, so Mummy will give me more.)
And I stubbornly sat there, and ate my breakfast.
I really should have paid more attention to what he did next.
He stopped meowing, walked into the living room, stayed there for a few seconds, and then walked back into the kitchen, and looked at me smugly.
I was, unfortunately, much more interested in my delicious breakfast of bacon and eggs, and ignored this ominous portent of doom.
(Cause: Mummy is ignoring me. Effect: she won't notice what I'm doing.)
A little while later, I moved into the living room. So did Elf.
He just sat on the couch, and watched me, carefully.
(Cause: I've done something really cool, and Mummy doesn't know about it yet. Effect: awesome suspenseful build-up to a really entertaining scene.)
And then, noticing the time, I realised I had to leave for work.
And I put on my coat.
My coat which, unfortunately, I forgot to hang up last night. It spent the night on the floor of the living room.
On reflection, the fact that Elf sprinted out of the room the minute I picked up my coat should have been a clue.
(Cause: unpleasant discovery, any moment now. Effect: Mummy will be REALLY REALLY MAD AT ME.)
He peed in it.
The little wretch peed right through my coat, just because he had old bikkies.
Eww!
What is really unfortunate is that I'm not getting home until six, so I had to give him more bikkies before I left - otherwise he'd be starving by the time I got home.
So now, he's going to think that peeing all over my clothes will work! Whenever I discover it, I'll give him more bikkies! Woo!
Remind me why I bought this animal, again?
Stupid idea. He didn't want those bikkies. They'd been there for hours. He wanted fresh bikkies.
So he meowed. And meowed. And meowed some more.
(Cause: annoyingly old bikkies. Effect: lots of noise, so Mummy will give me more.)
And I stubbornly sat there, and ate my breakfast.
I really should have paid more attention to what he did next.
He stopped meowing, walked into the living room, stayed there for a few seconds, and then walked back into the kitchen, and looked at me smugly.
I was, unfortunately, much more interested in my delicious breakfast of bacon and eggs, and ignored this ominous portent of doom.
(Cause: Mummy is ignoring me. Effect: she won't notice what I'm doing.)
A little while later, I moved into the living room. So did Elf.
He just sat on the couch, and watched me, carefully.
(Cause: I've done something really cool, and Mummy doesn't know about it yet. Effect: awesome suspenseful build-up to a really entertaining scene.)
And then, noticing the time, I realised I had to leave for work.
And I put on my coat.
My coat which, unfortunately, I forgot to hang up last night. It spent the night on the floor of the living room.
On reflection, the fact that Elf sprinted out of the room the minute I picked up my coat should have been a clue.
(Cause: unpleasant discovery, any moment now. Effect: Mummy will be REALLY REALLY MAD AT ME.)
He peed in it.
The little wretch peed right through my coat, just because he had old bikkies.
Eww!
What is really unfortunate is that I'm not getting home until six, so I had to give him more bikkies before I left - otherwise he'd be starving by the time I got home.
So now, he's going to think that peeing all over my clothes will work! Whenever I discover it, I'll give him more bikkies! Woo!
Remind me why I bought this animal, again?
no subject
Date: 2008-06-17 10:09 pm (UTC)