Commuting Fun
Jul. 16th, 2008 07:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird_ljRemember in the old days, how they used to have the train drivers do those announcements about which station was next, and they were always so completely incomprehensible?
You know...
"Good afternoon passengers, our next station is Glen Iris. Next station Glen Iris."
and it would sort of become:
"GOO FTNOO PASSGNG NEX TON GLEE SS NEX STT GLESSS"
in a really loud boomy voice.
...I miss those days.
These days, they have an automated voice, by a computer woman, talking cheerfully about which station is next, and hoping we have a wonderful afternoon - all in a clear, easily understood voice.
At least that's the theory.
Technology, of course, is not exactly fool-proof. And so the "easily understood voice" can morph into something that sounds remarkably like the Slavene (Slaveen? Slivine? Anyone?) from Doctor Who.
Or it might slow down to snail's pace.
Or, like this morning, the computer lady might start screaming at you. Not a screechy voice - just one long drawn out wail...
And even if she sounds normal, she might lose track of where we're up to. Quite often, she's two stations behind.
The other day, we had Computer Woman inform us, very politely, that we were on the wrong train and needed to get off, because it wasn't taking passengers.
She did this every ten seconds for the entire trip.
Personally, I'd prefer to listen to the crazy guy who was in my carriage the other day. He seemed to have a fixation with imitating the train noises.
Every time the train slowed down he'd make soft "braking" noises, he'd do "beeping" when the doors were closing, every time we jerked to one side he'd pick up on all the little "thuds" and repeat them for us, and at every station he'd announce "next stop East Richmond"...
They should just hire him to make the announcements. He'd certainly keep us from getting bored.
"Good afternoon passengers, our next station is Glen Iris. Next station Glen Iris."
and it would sort of become:
"GOO FTNOO PASSGNG NEX TON GLEE SS NEX STT GLESSS"
in a really loud boomy voice.
...I miss those days.
These days, they have an automated voice, by a computer woman, talking cheerfully about which station is next, and hoping we have a wonderful afternoon - all in a clear, easily understood voice.
At least that's the theory.
Technology, of course, is not exactly fool-proof. And so the "easily understood voice" can morph into something that sounds remarkably like the Slavene (Slaveen? Slivine? Anyone?) from Doctor Who.
Or it might slow down to snail's pace.
Or, like this morning, the computer lady might start screaming at you. Not a screechy voice - just one long drawn out wail...
And even if she sounds normal, she might lose track of where we're up to. Quite often, she's two stations behind.
The other day, we had Computer Woman inform us, very politely, that we were on the wrong train and needed to get off, because it wasn't taking passengers.
She did this every ten seconds for the entire trip.
Personally, I'd prefer to listen to the crazy guy who was in my carriage the other day. He seemed to have a fixation with imitating the train noises.
Every time the train slowed down he'd make soft "braking" noises, he'd do "beeping" when the doors were closing, every time we jerked to one side he'd pick up on all the little "thuds" and repeat them for us, and at every station he'd announce "next stop East Richmond"...
They should just hire him to make the announcements. He'd certainly keep us from getting bored.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 11:47 pm (UTC)Your conductors sound wonderful.
I've got to try V/Line trains again...
no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 02:40 am (UTC)He can't help it, I think he has a mental disorder...but still, it was sooo annoying. Maybe Connex shoudl hire him as a guide- I bet he knows all the stations on every line...
Some of the conductors are nicer than others, but all pretty decent folk. Not at all like ticket inspectors!
V/Line can take you to Ballarat i.e. where I live with my rabbit and DVDs and junkfood and (by then) new lounge suite...we still on for a sci-fi date at some point? :-)
no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 02:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 02:49 am (UTC)Oh, and I agree, the voice wishing you a nice day is just creepifying. Since when do they wish you a nice day? She never wished *me* a nice day... :-(